New sex

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by ctown75, Dec 7, 2007.

  1. ctown75

    ctown75 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2007
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    2
    When you first start having sex with someone you are doing it all times of day and night,and in different ways.I can remember laying in bed on a weekend day watching TV and having sex all day and never getting dressed.My now wife wearing sexy clothes every weekend

    I have now been married for ten years and have a god sex life but I miss those days,so does anybody else who is in a longterm relationship
     
  2. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    I'm a much longer marriage than yours (21 years), and I remember our honeymoon particularly fondly. These days sex is generally a comfortable three times a week, but this is very satisfying to me. I also am aware than a number of relationships of your duration or my duration that have sexual difficulties, so to be still having good sex after ten years or 21 years is an achievement in inself. Not only for the sexual side, but regular good sex is an indicator of a loving and caring relationship where both partners are comfortable and satisfied.

    But there are still opportunities for experimentation. We have been given a couple of erotic board games, and playing one of these games (erotic 4 real) makes for a sex session of a few hours (it is a very explicit game). Another one of my wife's favourites is outdoor sex, and we have a favourite spot in a nearby nature reserve where we make love under the gum trees followed by a picnic lunch. Now that the weather is warmer, we will be revisiting that place soon. Others on the forum will have their own variations on special sex.

    Regular good sex interspersed by something special makes for a good combination.
     
  3. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Heightened desire early in a relationship that tapers to a more comfortable amount of sex is 100% normal. The brain is flooded with bonding chemicals in the first 1-2 years of a relationship that make people crazy for one another, then the production of these chemicals wanes and is exhausted. It's how the species is propagated by Mother Nature. Since monogamy is a decision we make, that goes against our biological instincts, we have to learn how to cope with the lessened desire after the initial fireworks...hopefully, if you've got a strong connection, a deeper and more satisfying form of love takes its place. But, yeah, the crazy days are meant to be just that... As the saying goes, don't be sad that it's over, be happy for having had the experience :) Life is ebb and flow, and so relationships are, too.
     
  4. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    3,754
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern Indiana
    I hate answering after Bluesy, She is just to good,
    We are the same age, You 44 me 43, Yea I remember. 17 times in 24 hours
    ( my personal best ) and staying naked all weekend, and just making love all the time.
    It was great, but we slow down and do what is comfortable now (not then)
    We would all like to have it back but we can't. So live with it.

    Hiker
     
  5. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2006
    Messages:
    6,443
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    When I first moved in with my SO we went through a honeymoon period where we had sex up to five times a day for the first couple of weeks. But then it gradually cooled off and now we're more normal, having sex about two or three times a week, which is fine with me because not having it as often kind of makes it more special.
     
  6. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    6,823
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dixie Land
    Added to the great posts already made, I can only add that it's perfectly fine to plan a weekend in order to re-live the days-gone-by! It's hard to expect it to always remain like that, but scooting off to a nearby resort (or just locking your own front door) for the weekend can give you that special feeling from time to time. it just takes a little more effort.
     
  7. Joe

    Joe
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2005
    Messages:
    1,681
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Rocky Mountains
    My wife and I normally take at least one day each week to just hang out, mostly in bed, watching tv and making love. And normally we take another day to stay in bed at least until noon -- doing the same thing. We've been together almost 9 years. She works on her feet 5 days a week, and she's usually too tired to feel like doing much after work, so we NEED those two days.

    My late wife and I would take one weekend each month to do the same, even though we had sex most days of the week. We'd hide a car and draw the shades so it looked like we weren't home, and we'd stay naked the whole weekend, not answering the door nor the phone.

    If you've got kids it's hard to do that at home, but you could schedule a "business trip" every month or two, get a hotel room (with room service), and just lie around naked the whole weekend playing with each other. Let the babysitter deal with the kids. Give her (only her) your phone number, call the kids once a day, and enjoy a re-awakening with your wife.
     
  8. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    366
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    south of england
    I've been married for 14 months, when we first got married my husband and I were very aware of the whole idea of the honeymoon period and how sex drive can fall away a few months into the marraige.

    One of the joys of the internet is that i can announce to the whole world how awful my husband was in bed when we first started having sex, and i didn't really mince my words when he rolled off after a rather clumsy performance, my exact words being "well that was shit".

    But looking back i can see that this was the best thing that could have happened, He had been in a long term relationship before me, and he had seemed to pick up some quite strange ideas about sex, only some of which he's let go off. I was a lot more sexually experienced than him.

    A lot of men I've known would have got very defensive both at their own bad performance and their girlfriend having done a lot more things sexually(which incidently i was quite open about) but hubby can be a bit single minded over the next few months I was ragged senseless. He learned to control when he orgasamed to a almost ridiculous degree. when he did finally make me cum he litterally did a victory lap around the bedroom

    Because he saw me as having something of a high sex drive (which wasn't neccessarily true, just by the standards of his ex) he felt he had to keep me satisfied which ended up with him jumping me constantly. Because of the way i had savaged his sexual performance at first, i think i felt an obligation to keep up which I'd never previously had with any other man.

    It got to the stage where if i tossed or turned during the night he assumed it was because I was horny and, as he was a light sleeper shortly after that i gave up wearing knickers to bed. He also read some fucking stupid article on the internet about women's sex drive increasing during their period which was interesting.

    I think one thing I've learned from this is that there isn't neccessarily a perfect moment for sex, Its something we've worked at, made a high priority sometimes one of us might not be totally into it, but then its special in a different way because its something you do for the other person. Routine isn't a dirty word mid afternoon i find myself stripping off almost automatically before hubby is in the door.We've been together for 3 years with a six month seperation before we got married. but i can't really see this honeymoon period ending