New Liquor Warnings

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Bella, Jan 17, 2007.

  1. Bella

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    Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion
    That the following warning labels be placed immediately on all
    Varieties of alcohol containers:
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
    Hell happened to your bra and panties.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
    Whispering when you are not.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in
    Dancing like a retard.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your
    Friends over and over again that you love them.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you
    Can sing.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
    Ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the
    Morning.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
    Logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    ***WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion
    That you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most
    People.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
    People are laughing WITH you.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you
    Are invisible.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance
    In the time-space continuum, leaving you unable to account for large
    Chunks of time.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    ***WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you
    Have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass
    Kicked.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over
    In the morning and see something really scary.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
    Inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan
    Tpye reel gode.

    :rofl
    ~Bella
     
  2. heelfetish

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    bwahahahaha! OMG, every one of those is true. :lol
     
  3. Bella

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    :rofl I know!!
    ~Bella
     
  4. pussycat69

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    To funny!
     
  5. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    i tnk th lest one is sily. i ca typ, no mttr hw mch i cunsoooooooooom

    *burp*
     
  6. Thorn

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    This one is TRUE! I have the scars to prove it. :eek:
     
  7. heelfetish

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    Rose!! Cover your mouth when you burp, dear. I don't want any more rude behavior when you visit the Hide-Away. :lol
     
  8. Bluesy

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    Argh. I've been on the receiving end of this one a few times :p

    Good one, Bella :lol
     
  9. Bella

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    I thought they were pretty true & funny!! :lol
    ~Bella




    :lol Rose, you crack me up!
    ~Bella




    Well, I don't have scars, but I have been there too! :lol
    ~Bella



    :lol
    ~Bella



    :lol I think we all have experienced more than one of these before!
    ~Bella
     
  10. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    :lol Those are almost too true to be funny.

    There was another one I heard recently about how if you want to simulate what it's like to be abducted by aliens, then simply drink two bottles of vodka.
    You'll wake up in a strange place with no memory of what happened and possibly discover you've been "probed."
     
  11. Bella

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    Now that is a scary thought!
    ~Bella