new here and question =]

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by mimi_loves_me, Feb 15, 2011.

  1. mimi_loves_me

    mimi_loves_me New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2011
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    CA
    hi! i already posted this in another section but realized there seems to be more activity here so thought i would give it a try!

    Hi! I have a little question for any guys that have some advice for me. First of all i am 18 years old and have had sex a few times (always safe) but i have never had an orgasm from it.same with oral, it doesn't even bring me close unless i'm really horny and then sometimes i will get kind of close. I don't understand because i can masturbate with a vibrator and cum pretty fast. It just seems like that vibration is what brings me there and without it i don't. some positions seem to be better like doggy style since that stimulates my gspot witch feels really good and makes me want to cum but i just don't. so my question is will i ever be able to cum from just a penis? could it be because i need to do it with a guy who is bigger or thicker? i just don't know! I also wanted to know if it would be okay to ask him to use a vibrator on me either after or during so i can cum too. would you consider that rude? I just want badly to be able to orgasm at the same time as my partner does so we can share that amazing feeling at the same time! Iv'e always wanted that! thanks so much for reading and any advice is appprediated!
     
    #1 mimi_loves_me, Feb 15, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 15, 2011
  2. igor

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2006
    Messages:
    4,110
    Likes Received:
    163
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago area
    Maybe eventually you will but don't worry about it - you are quite normal in that 3/4 of women can't cum by PIV alone.

    No it would not be rude. Any guy that is decent will want you to have pleasure no matter what it takes. As for simultaneous orgasms - good luck - they are rare.
     
  3. phil anderer

    phil anderer New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2009
    Messages:
    153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    There is no one technique that embraces all tastes. Think of the fun you can have finding which suits you best! If your partner can't help you, find another partner. What one person enjoys another may find uncomfortable or simply distasteful.

    Never be afraid to suggest something new.
     
  4. Kermit

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2010
    Messages:
    1,950
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sesame Street
    There are cock-rings he can put on himself with vibrators built in, that might help though i doubt their power. If a guy thinks your'e "rude" for it, for wanting to maximize your pleasure together, he's not a very good lover, as all good lovers should want the best for their girls IMHO
     
  5. Alwayslearningsex

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2010
    Messages:
    2,240
    Likes Received:
    783
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    it can be either technique, patience, putting pressure on someone yourself included. Enjoy the happening and see what happens.
    only time will tell, trying diff things. One woman loved me because of thickness and came easily, depends on your body.

    depends on his level of comfort, how secure he is and how much he knows about how female bodies can respond and all are diff from others. Try just enjoying him only stimulating you, tell him clearly if something feels good, you know where g spot is, have him stim it with hands too. Don't hold back and tell in clear words, have a nice talk before hand to let him know.

    my ex could never orgasm at same time unless we timed to orgasm together so often we did it to each other when not by intercourse. She never orgasmed from intercourse so for you it's maybe, time will tell, just try and have fun. I always made sure she orgasmed either before or after intercourse, she prefered after, just her preference. Don't put too much stress on together at same time for now until you fine tune and discover your body responses better.
     
    #5 Alwayslearningsex, Feb 15, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 8, 2011
  6. 33stack

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2011
    Messages:
    546
    Likes Received:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    baltimore md.
    There is a G- spot toy that is curved and pretty thin (about 4 inches circ) and it vibrates. My wife gets on all fours for doggy and I put myself in for a minute, then she slides in the toy under my dick and holds it there and i pump away. Mind blowing orgasms for us both every time. 2 things though: use k-y (its very tight:phat) and i am average size. I have my doubts a massive guy could do this, but for us average guys,oooh baby is it hot!! If u try this let me know how u like it. its one of my favorites.
     
  7. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    Not a big fan of vibrators myself. I have had sex with a few women who used vibrators a lot, and it was always very hard to make them come through oral or any other way. It's like vibrators de-sensitises the clit.
     
  8. lovn_my_bbw

    lovn_my_bbw New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2010
    Messages:
    397
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    no were, ca
    you dont need some one who is big or thick enough, you just need one person who is just right and knows how to use it and will drive you crazy!!!
     
  9. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    When it comes to orgasms from intercourse, size probably doesn't make much difference, but how do we men use it? My wife comes sometimes from intercourse, specifically if I aim at her g-spot. Her most recent b-i-g orgasm from fucking was when we had sex outdoors, which really didn't have much to do with me and a lot to do with her reaction to the natural-ness of what we were doing. But for us and orgasms from intercourse, it's very much up to how much she gets her mind into what's happening as much as anything I can do.
     
  10. Beth_UK

    Beth_UK New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2010
    Messages:
    35
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Yorkshire UK
    I think as someone else has said, you have de-sensitised your clit by using vibrators. I would wean yourself off them and masturbate only with fingers or non-vibrating toys for a while. You will get to the point where you will orgasm like that, but as for simultaneous orgasms, I think everyone would like that once in a while. Good luck with trying!
     
  11. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    I use them on my wife and she's never had a problem with desensitizing.

    How may different positions have you tried, my wife finds it's the easiest to orgasm from penetration doggie style or her on top. She can from missionary, but it take quite a while. I have no problem lasting, but instead of one orgasm in missionary, she can have 3 or 4 in the same time in the other positions.
     
  12. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,960
    Likes Received:
    5,071
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    Hi Mimi Loves Me, most of the above posts are probably relevant in some way but my feeling is that you may have over time become fixated to the use of the vibrator.
    BTW no lover should feel bad about stuff you might need to get off.
    Everyone is different and has differing needs and these can and do change also over time.
    Kermit has suggested a vibrating cock ring which are certainly effective in my experience.
    Good luck, you are still very young and should easily adapt to new sexual experiences.
    Remember that even with people who have had a lot of sex it still takes some time for two people to adapt to one another such that both experience orgasms and it seems for many that simultaneous orgasms are quite illusive. See the many posts on that subject.