New (bi girl) from Canada

Discussion in 'Member Introductions' started by oksure, Oct 26, 2008.

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  1. oksure

    oksure New Member

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    My hubby (oksurewhynot) was on here a few months ago and found this community very informative, so I thought I'd check things out there too. :)

    I live in the Lethbridge Alberta Canada area. I'm happily married to a wonderfully supportive husband. I am 34 years old and have four children, all of whom still live at home.

    For the past 16 or so years I have felt a very strong attraction to women, sometimes emotionally, sometimes spiritually, sometimes sexually. I have never acted on these feelings, and in fact have often denied these feelings and thoughts were even real.

    Now however, with the support of my husband whom I've only recently (this summer) come out to, I'd like to explore the 'real me'. I am NOT yet ready to do anything sexual in the 'real world' (though my fantasy world is getting better every day - wink wink).

    What I am interested in is chatting online in forums like this, or maybe even meeting local people. I want to connect to bi-sexual, lesbian and or bi-curious women so I don't feel, well, so 'alone and freakish' frankly.

    Other than my husband, all of my core friends are 'religious fanatics' and are not supportive of GLBT persons -- hence I've only come out to my husband, my best friend and two of my siblings (only my husband has supported me). And my prior 'religious programming' is making it hard for me to believe that I am 'normal', though I do feel my most 'normal' when I view and accept myself as bi-sexual and don't beat myself up about the 'real me'. In fact, I can now say that I KNOW I am 'bisexual', it's just simply who I truly am (though it still is an 'awkward and alone', and even sometimes 'sinful' kind of feeling right now for me).

    So, I guess I'm hopeful to see if there are any females who may want to get to know me and chat (online, instant message, phone, live) or hang out (dinner, movies, shopping, walks, girl talk, friendship, etc.)

    I'm frankly unsure of this new world and a bit scared...but I am hopeful that connecting to others will help me feel less 'awkward and alone' in this bi-sexual world I now find myself in.

    Take care,
    OkSure

    I'm not sure if I can put this here or not but my MSN is: personal info removed

    Please keep all exchanges of personal information confined to private messaging.
     
    #1 oksure, Oct 26, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 26, 2008
  2. Dreama

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    Welcome to the forum. I'm very sorry to hear that your environment hasn't been very inviting to you, and that you don't feel welcome enough to open up to even your friends. We're very open to the GLBT community, and many of us are a part of it. There are several bi-sexual women here, too-I'm one of them. There is nothing wrong with being who you are, and I'm so glad you've joined our community!
     
  3. IhaveProblemz

    IhaveProblemz New Member

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    welcome! i hope you have good luck finding someone to explore your sexuality with!
     
  4. FlirtyChick

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    Welcome. Good luck in your search, and good for you having a supportive hubby. That makes all the difference in the world when you are exploring your sexuality! Just be sure to give him the same luxury if he needs it!
     
  5. T_Bone

    T_Bone New Member

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    Welcome! :D
     
  6. AnonymousOne

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    ... People live in Canada? :lol

    And in all fairness, we're all freaks here. Don't hesitate to just throw things out there on the forum!
     
  7. oksure

    oksure New Member

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    Thanks Dreama!

    I appreciate the kind words...I'm having more 'good days' than 'bad' lately about feeling ok in my own skin...and about feeling ok about others skin too (wink wink). :)
     
  8. oksure

    oksure New Member

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    Thanks. Right now I am exploring my sexuality with hubby and myself, and on forums like this...right now I just want to feel 'normal' and not quite so weird and guilty about how I feel and what I think and 'desire'. Hubby wants me to experience being with a girl and or having a GF, which I frankly LOVE the idea of, but I feel like that'd be unfaithful to him...and then there's the 'God with the piano hanging over me syndrome' too I need to deal with. Who knows though what the future will bring. Right now I just like chatting and this feeling of connecting to others like me and of being less, well, 'freakish'. :)

    TTFN
     
  9. oksure

    oksure New Member

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    Thanks FlirtyChick. He really is supportive and frankly is pretty much the only one in my circle of friends and family and associates who I know would be...other than the vast online scene I'm starting to connect with (and meeting wonderfully supportive people thereby). Some family know (2 siblings) and their response was love (which was good and wonderful, frankly) and compassion (because I have a 'problem and a predisposition to SIN' in their eyes, yeah, not exactly thrilling...but at the same time I guess I can't expect them to say 'good for you girl, now go get some pussy!'). :)

    As for hubby's sexuality, that's something I've not really given much thought to, with all I'm going through. But you're right, I need to support him too, as much as I can too. I know he really wishes we could watch hot girls together on the internet, but I just feel too guilty for that, presently, but I am inching along and some nights I'm quite ok with it, other nights I feel guilty...I'm a religiously programmed yo-yo presently, but I think I am getting a bit more deprogrammed with each passing day -- yay me! :)

    Anyway, thanks so much for the welcome.

    TTFN
     
  10. oksure

    oksure New Member

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    Thanks TBone.
     
  11. oksure

    oksure New Member

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    Thanks AnonymousOne. People do live in Canada. We all live in igloos which are built by the Snowmobile Federation of the Arctic (SFA). In exchange for building houses for all us Canadians, the Canadian Government gives them snowmobiles, gasoline and bran muffins. :)

    I shall post from time to time here I'm sure...I put out a post on PORN recently...something I'm interested in, but feel quite guilty about due to my religious upbringing...in fact, my entire 'bi-ness' I sometimes feel quite guilty about too, though that is a far less guilt-factor than it was just a few weeks ago...

    Anyway...

    TTFN
     
  12. Mr. G

    Mr. G Member

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    Welcome to SF. It seems that you've found yourself to the right place :)

    Hope you'll get what you're looking for and get to sexually free yourself from all those boundaries.

    Mr. G
     
  13. Rocket Queen

    Rocket Queen New Member

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    Welcome to SF hon.. .I've only recently came out to some friends (my hubby has known I've been curious since we met) and they have supported me and most of the comments were "yep we have always known that"

    This is a journey both you and your husband are able to share, so with his blessing and encouragement then it is not cheating... only enhancing ;)
     
  14. Northernexposed69

    Northernexposed69 New Member

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    Hello there, oksure,

    Just joined today and was reading your post, and was wondering how things were going for you ... I know a bit of the area your at, yes .. deep in the the heart of the Alberta Bible belt, so I can see where there would not be a lot of support ... and a strong religious upbringing can be hard to overcome ... I 'broke away' from the church decades ago ..but can still feel the guilt pangs on occasion ... I deeply appreciate the spirituallity of religions, but I dispise a lot of the dogma they espouse ... I'm happy to see your husband is very supportive ... I hope you have been able to come to terms with your desires, and maybe even explored them ... personally I find two ladies enjoying each other a very erotic, and I know a number of men and women do ... some of my fav times have been in a MFF situation, and just watching the ladies pleasure each other ... ahhh been wayyy to long ... lol ... just wanted to let you know, as another Canadian, you have my support for exploring whatever arouses you ...
     
  15. SteveWaste

    SteveWaste New Member

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    Welcome aboard. I'm in a very serious relationship with a Lady that is very much like you. She's due home any second and I'll see if I can get her on here to say hi.

    PS- We're all perverts here. You're more than welcome among us.

    ~Steve
     
  16. SWGirl

    SWGirl New Member

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    Hello! And Welcome!

    I'm 24 and in a committed relationship of almost 2 years and just realized that I am bisexual too. It was a very weird thing for me to accept, but its something that I'm coming to terms with thanks to my AMAZING man. I just recently had my first sexual experience involving another woman in any way at all. She watched me give a blowjob and then watched as he ravaged me afterwards. It all turned out very well >bites nail:D

    So I hope you feel the warmth of welcome here and see it as an accepting place to open up to people that are kind of going through the same things you are.

    Good to have you here!
     
  17. Mittimer

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    guys this post is from 2008..
     
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