never in the mood for sex

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Timon, Apr 15, 2007.

  1. Timon

    Timon New Member

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    so my gf and i love eachoter very much,

    know eachoter for a while now, almost a year i geuss,
    she wants to be with me all the time and do things,

    so we do a lot of stuff together, like for example
    this vacation we went to walk in the mountains for 3days
    (camping in a small tent also), was very fun.

    but the thing is, we haven't had sex for like 2 months :(
    and the last time we had a realy hot snuggling has also at least been a month,

    i even got the feeling she doesn't even care about kissing,
    most kisses are like just the quick touch kind of kiss lately

    sigh,
    i asked her if she is sick of me or something or doesn't find me hot,
    she sais it isn't that, she just doesn't feel like having sex at all

    haven't said anything more about the kissing or so yet

    anyway she has been very depressed for a long while,
    and she has it very hard in shool / parents / her friends not giving her
    very much attention.

    so i can understand the sex part (cause hell when i'm depressed i don't feel like sex that much eather)
    but at least she can still turn me on if i am and get my mind on other things ;)

    i geuss that doesn't work on girls? cause i can't seem to turn her on at all,
    doesn't mather what i try,

    now i'm just trying to understand what is going on, not getting much out of her
    tbh, i'm not a very confident guy so after 2months this is realy not working
    very good on my confidence level ...

    at the moment i don't even feel like trying anything anymore cause
    it will end up in me ending up with a shallow kiss anyway

    there is defenitly lots of love, lots of it,

    but she just not sexualy attracted to me atm?
    i'm not hot?

    anyway for the rest she's not always easy to be with, she can get
    depressed in the middle of a very fun party for no reason at all,
    get grumpy and act real bitchy for no reason while we where having a real good time,
    pushing me away,
    and like a little later it's all good again

    i dono anymore what to think, and now i'm starting to push her away,
    untill now i was always very understanding and trying to confort her and
    just ignore her bursts of sudden grumpy moods because it's over relatively quick then.

    had her crying in my arms a couple times because of shool and her parents,
    had some good talks ..

    the last days she seems very happy again and even in the direction of wanting more
    again, but i don't feel like trying !
    :(
    i just dropped her of at her home tonight (much earlyer then usual)
    and she knows something is rong (cause i was acting like she can act somethimes when she's depressed)
    and she was acting like the fun person she can be the last days :)
    but i just totaly deflected anything that could result in sex,

    she's finaly getting better and now i'm acting stupid ! why goddamnit,

    i know i should prob talk to her about it but i don't want to hurt her
    or something ... and what am i gona say ..

    everything i can come up with is incredibly rude realy ...

    and ofcourse there is the lack of selfconfidence building and building and building
    with me atm,
    if she doesn't find me hot ... there will be another guy that she does find hot soon ...

    :( i don't know what to think anymore
    i've been throught tons of bad shit in my life, had to go through lots of
    bad stuff, and i'm realy talking about lots and lots of fucked up shit,
    one example is almost being homeless, with nothing, but i don't feel like bringing it all up again.
    i've always been the strong one, holding my mom up and keeping her going,

    and everything is better now and there is a future,
    but i fear my strength is almost all but depleted,

    and i just don't know how to deal with what is going on now,
    while it is nothing compared to all the stuff i survived before ! i don't get it :(

    i need a hand ...

    and ye i realise this is a very dramatic text, so try to filter out the
    actual problem of the relationship please :)
    as you might see i'm not feeling very well atm and it will
    be much better tommorrow, i'm gona go sleep now, just had to write
    something i geuss or talk ... dono
     
  2. runnerx32

    runnerx32 New Member

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    Maybe do something to cheer her up, involve a bunch of her friends, just do something to show her how special she is. Or what I tend to do is talk about something that is getting me down too, and she will eventually open up and once that happens a girls mood seems to change a bit from depressed and seclussive to passionate and trusting. (atleast it seems that way to me)