Needs help on a dilemma

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by johnnypatch, Dec 19, 2007.

  1. johnnypatch

    johnnypatch New Member

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    hi everyone.. I'm new here, and i found this place coz i was looking around for advice on this matter that i'd rather not mention to people who know me..

    I've been living with my girlfriend for 5 years, she has a younger sister who lives with us who left for college a year ago and comes home regularly. We're a tight knit group, not really outgoing and stuff, and whenever we're all together we enjoy each other's company..

    Lately, whenever the sis is home, there are times when i feel as though she's sending me messages. Now, i'm a normally horny guy, but i'm not sure what it is that i sense from her. I've never thought of her in the erotic way, but after several instances when i sense sexual messages or whatever i've been really horny for her.

    Now there is a part of me that thinks i'm just imagining stuff, that things are not really as sexual as i think they are and that she couldn't be interested in me that way..

    But damn, i really wanna bang her! I just gotta know if i'm getting the right message from her.

    For example, i'm outside a room and she's inside and takes off her shirt with her back to me, or she's sitting on the sofa and spreads her legs just a little bit and i can clearly see her undies, or i ask to borrow something from her and she goes on all fours with her behind facing me to reach for it and giving me a view of that darn place i want more everyday..

    Stuff like that.. Am i just imagining? Should i make a move? How? What should i look out for? What kind of message should i send her to convey that i'm down for it?
    HELP!!!!!!
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Sounds to me like you're asking for trouble :shrug
    Your questions are overlooking a very important dynamic in the situation: Your S.O.! Before answering the above questions, you need to answer some more important ones. Like: How will this effect my relationship with my SO?.... Do I mind losing my relationship just to get my jollies?...
    ...stuff like that!

    Once you've come to grips with those answers, then you can move on to the ones you've posed in your thread in order to "bang" her (as you so eloquently put it).
     
  3. Barbwire

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    I can tell that there are going to be lot's of replies to this thread, already. I'm just going to make this short and sweet. First off, I'm sure your feelings are normal, BUT just because you feel these things doesn't mean you need to act on them. You are old enough and I hope, mature enough, to know doing ANYTHING with your SO's sister is just plain wrong.

    So a young girl is bending over in front of you? So what! Be an adult and ignore her.

     
  4. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    Hit it dude!

    ...go for it and maybe you'll get lucky! It could be sooo hot! Banging lil' sis and all! Who knows, maybe big sis will come home at just the right moment and join in! Then, from that day forward, you'll be swimming in pussy, having threesomes with tha girls and just all around living the life.

    Or, when all your shit is on the sidewalk, looking for a new pad and you're wondering how the hell five years disappeared in a flash, you might spend some time writing down a personal code of conduct, ie, things you will and won't do, things like; no robbing banks. No taking candy from babies. No making moves on the girlfriends little sister. No asking stupid questions and hoping to get a different answer than than the one you already know.

    Look, man, you're too old for this shit. If sis is flashing you and sticking a toe in the water to see what you'll do, and I don't doubt she is, then you gotta take action. First step, I would think is talk to girlfriend and tell her what's up. The two of you gotta handle this together; it's her sister. If everyone was open to this, you'd already know, right? So, get that out of your head.

    As it is, pressure is building between you and little sis and she's likely to keep seeing how far she can go. This is a deceit to big sis and you are partaking. Keep it up and then you get to find out how girl friend feels about boy friend trying find an opportunity to fuck lil sis.

    I'm not gonna fault you for being turned on. I would be too. Then you gotta check your code. Go for it and take your chances so you have a great story or shut this down, and show girl friend you are her man.

    And you're true to yourself.
     
  5. Thorn

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    I agree with Rose on that part. Very important!
    But why do you say:
    And:
    It's obvious that she wants something from you. It could be that she just likes the fact that she knows she is turning you on and doesn't want to go any farther than that. If that's the case she is being very careless and disrespectful towards her older sister.

    It could be that she wants you to bang her. Maybe she is jealous of her sister or even has a vindictive thing toward her.

    You should either tell her to stop or go for it. Your decision.
     
  6. emerlyj

    emerlyj New Member

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    She may want you and you may like the idea of having her, but i don't think the reality is going to work out well for you. If you sleep with her you will be ending the relationship with your girlfriend and possibly ruining the relationship between your girlfriend and her sister. And all for what is probably not going to be anything more than a shag. It doesn't seem worth it to me. The sister seems to be playing games with you and if i was you i wouldn't get drawn into it.
     
  7. johnnypatch

    johnnypatch New Member

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    Thanks everyone.. I appreciate all the advice..

    All this time a huge part of me reasons (crazily) that i can make it work out, that we can be discreet, that everything's gonna be heaven..

    I really love my SO, and the three of us are really close. After reading the advice here, i think i will not act on it or make a move. I will just feign ignorance, and do my best to control myself.

    But DAMN!!!
     
  8. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    That's...

    ...bullshit. You may as well go for it if your mindset is to try and play some third option of leaving the door open, so to speak, and try and create some reasons in your own mind why it won't be your fault if/when it happens.

    If you quit smoking, you throw out the smokes, not pretend you don't know there's a pack in the drawer.

    If you quit drinking, you lose the booze and don't leave a 5th in the cabinet and pretend it's not there.

    You have three choices; go for it, shut it down or play chicken shit.

    I don't know you from a byte in cyber space so don't go getting all offended and please feel free to tell me to fuck off. It's just my opinion for you to consider and I'm calling it the way I see it.
     
  9. johnnypatch

    johnnypatch New Member

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    I am here for advice and i will never be offended by anything that i ask for whether i like it or not.. I am really grateful for this because it's been bugging me for some time now.. I don't know who to ask, so i am so happy to be getting input from people!
     
  10. johnnypatch

    johnnypatch New Member

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    My reasonable self of course knows what the "right" thing to do, so i suppose it's all up to me to control myself and not "leave a door open".

    The option of telling my girlfriend is out of the question, even if the two of them are the closest and most mutually open persons i have ever met in my life.. Right now i am not responding to the sis in any way that might reveal that i "get" what she is trying to let me know and that i am "open" to it.

    So. The major consensus is for me to do my best to ignore whatever "messages" i am sensing from the sis whether real or imagined, get the erotic thoughts about her out of my mind, go about life same as usual.. Am i right?
     
  11. Dreama

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    If you value your relationship, for god sake's man, DON'T DO IT!! Why did you need to come to us for that advice? It seems pretty simple..
     
  12. Joe

    Joe
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    Ab-so-fucking-lutely! Cheating with a partner's family member would be the lowest kind of cheating imho. It would not only destroy your own relationship but also the relationship of the sisters to each other. Cheating with a stranger could sometimes be forgiven and put in the past, but with a family member, no. Even though you're not married, sis should be considered part of your family and treated as such. She's off-limits if you have any respect at all for your partner.
     
  13. johnnypatch

    johnnypatch New Member

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    I just had to ask somebody..

    I'm a very together kind of guy and i handle a lot of people's problems and give advice at work, but for this matter i seem to be stumped.

    I guess i need another perspective on this other than my own..
     
  14. Bluesy

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    I think you should go for it. And make sure the two of you are rolling around on the living room floor about the time SO should be arriving home. Let her walk through the door and see, first-hand, what a traitorous little bitch her sister really is and the kind of bf she's got...I think this woman has a right to know what sort of people she's surrounded herself with so she can use this information to decide whether or not she wants to leave you all behind and seek out the sort of people who will have such pure, authentic love for her, and who have such good character, they would never dream of engaging in such sleazy shenanigans...ergo, they would never need to ask such a question on an internet sex forum in the first place.

    Set the truth free!
     
  15. Barbwire

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  16. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    If you decide to be intent on shunning her seeming advances, how about this bit of practical advice:

    Spend doubly amount of time and effort letting little sister see your devotion to your S.O. Be overtly loving and devoted, and be totally ignorant toward little sister's hints of flirtation.

    If she bends over.... non-chalantly turn around and walk away.

    If she opens her legs a bit too wide, go make a surprise love-call to your girlfriend - full of lovey, mushy stuff.

    If she undresses with her door open, have the guts to say "Shut the door. That's disgusting."

    I have a feeling you may be giving "return signals" to her, and that is keeping this game going.

    Take control of the situation in your home. If these tricks don't work, then mister, you need to discuss the problem with your girlfriend. This home belongs to YOU and HER. Little sister is a guest, at this point. No 'guest' should be making you walk on eggshells, whether emotionally, sexually, or whatever.
     
  17. Thorn

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    Somehow I doubt that statement. Or you might be at a crossroad of learning what love really is?
     
  18. Bluesy

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    You know, I think a lot of people who believe they know what love is are really quite ignorant. Take a parent, for example: as long as there are no mental illnesses impeding the bond they have with their child, they really love that child and can't imagine doing anything to hurt him/her. Why do people think it should be any different with romantic partners, you know? You love your child, you're always looking out for their best interests, you love your partner, you're always looking out for their best interests...for a person to so easily divorce "love" from behavior, to be able to put selfish interests that have the potential to cause devastating pain to their partner and possibly end the relationship ahead of all else says to me that a person does not know what love is. If you have something very precious and meaningful, you would never do anything to jeopardize that--the relationship would always come first. Just like the child.

    I think that when some people say "I love my SO", what they really mean is "I love being in a love relationship." They love having someone that cares about them, someone to have sex with regularly, they love the affection, the companionship, the validation of self-worth that comes from feeling loved, but their partner is replaceable. They get "attached", they develop a fondness for their partner, there's a strong sexual chemistry there, but real Love eludes them and they don't even know it. I was in a marriage like this (neither of us really loved each other). Hell, all of my love relationships to date have been like this. Never again!

    Whoa, I'm in a ramblin' kind of mood today...:eek: *Hops down from soap box*
     
  19. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    You HAVE...

    ...to tell gf.

    Jesus H. What if your little brother was living with you or hanging around all the time and was being suggestive to gf, same scenario, reversed roles? How would you feel, what would you think if gf decided "Well, I best not tell Johnny...it would upset him. Besides...who knows? Bro is kinda hot..." and you found out later? "Glad you never told me. So, it's not my kid after all?"

    Well?

    You are facing a moral challenge and failing miserably in my ever so humble opinion.
     
  20. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    Which reminds...

    ...me;

    Anyone ever hear of rodeo sex?

    Guys, mount your girlfriend/so/wife person from behind and lean forward and whisper in her ear. Call her her sisters name and see if you can hold on for 8 seconds.

    :lol