[Ask a Guy] need some advice

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by EasyBoy, Oct 31, 2010.

  1. EasyBoy

    EasyBoy New Member

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    Well, this might sound like a pathetic story, even for my age. But a few months ago, my girlfriend dumped me. And 5 months after I still cannot get over her. I am not depressed about it anymore. It's just, I can't get over her. I can't stop loving her. I know sounds creepy, I guess.

    Well the thing is, my friends brought me to a club for the first time hoping I would you know move on. But I just aint had no need for any other girl. Not to say I didn't try my best to dance with any other girls and meet them ( got rejected each time, but I respected them, unlike a lot of the other guys I saw, hell sometimes I even apologized cuz I felt like I was being rude :\ ) Yeah maybe clubbing aint my scene, but I didn't even care that I got rejected I just went my own way a bit relieved..

    So I was just wondering, is there any advice you guys can give to me to get over her and starting being interested in other women?
     
  2. Alwayslearningsex

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    Search deep inside why she may have left you unless she told you in honesty.
    Hope you don't call, email, text, or hang around to see what she's up to, THIS is what creepy is.
    You may find it better that she left, cutting it before things get worse.
    It may not take the pain away but it will be a good start to get there.
    Forget the clubs if it's not your thing, do things you enjoy and let things happen, believe me, I met doing things I like a few times, without the intention of meeting.
     
  3. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

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    I know that this may sound crass, but the best way for some guys to get over one love, is to start fresh with a new girl. I know I'm that way.

    I understand as well that your not to the point yet of being ab;e to just start up something with someone new, but that's exactly what you need to do.

    First step towards that is to occupy your time. You need to get busy doing things so that your mind won't be constantly bombarded by the fact that you miss her.

    Occupy your time.
    Flirt with women that you think are "out of your league".
    Do MORE of the things that you enjoy---hobbies?
    Somehow, somewhere, find a positive outlook. Life WILL continue. With or without you.

    Good luck.
     
  4. wilber

    wilber Member

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    I agree with the previous posts. As far as clubbing not being your thing, I understand. I don't really care for it. I find the best place to meet females is a place you didn't go to meet females. The grocery store, the park if you are there to enjoy yourself regardless, bookstores.............. just go about being yourself without thinking about her or any other female for that matter. If you appear needy or are trying to hard you are going to end up with the wrong kind of girl. Hang in there until you find one that likes you while being yourself.
     
  5. EasyBoy

    EasyBoy New Member

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    Well, I highly doubt I am going to meet girls while playing video games haha. But, I do attend the gym 6 days a week, but its only two months and compared to the other guys there... lets just say I don't have enough confidence to walk up to the girls there yet cause they would look at me and then other options >.> Plus, my main problem is.. I do not know how to meet women ><" I know I sound a bit immature, but I've only been in two relationships and they were cause friends introduced us. So when it comes to actually meeting, well I never really have much confidence in my self or the way I look :\ I guess its why I joined the gym. Well, thanks for the advice given though. I think I just needed a place to get some of my feelings off as well. Thanks guys!
     
  6. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

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    There's one line that seems to work more than any other in my experience. Wanna know what it is?






    "Hi"

    That's it. Just walk up and say Hi! Then watch her facial expressions to know whether to continue the small talk, or politely walk away.
     
  7. EasyBoy

    EasyBoy New Member

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    wow that seems... so hard T_T Thanks though! I gotta push myself now, wish me luck :)
     
  8. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

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    You wouldn't believe all of the bad days that I've made disappear just by being sincere with "Hi, you don't look like your having much fun. How are you?"

    Obviously, you could spin that a hundred different ways. Maybe if your in the gym, it would look more like:

    "Hi, your in amazing shape! Can I ask how long it took you to get that way? By the way, my name is......"
     
  9. SteveWaste

    SteveWaste New Member

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    Honestly, Gary here is right on the money. I've had several female friends over the years that have consistently complained that they can't find a boyfriend and that they never get asked out on dates. I've consistently told them that it's because they are beautiful, and a good majority of modern men can be easily intimidated by beautiful women, especially the nice ones.
    Their constant reply?...
    "Why?"

    I know that you've just gotten out of a serious relationship and that you're still probably dwelling privately on the pain of that loss, but until you break that cycle of solitude and depressed indifference, you'll never feel differently. That is NOT a critique, but a generalized statement. In order to FEEL differently you've got to DO something differently. Talking to random women is a great way to accomplish this. Simply saying Hello to a woman can spark a great conversation, but you'll never start a fire if you don't use your flint.

    There's not secret when it comes to meeting women. It happens when you make it happen. And if you want it to happen, then make it happen. You might be saying to yourself, "Yah, is SOUNDS that simple." But please take it from me, it truly is that simple. You've just got to bring yourself to do it.

    I hope this helps you and is not too jumbled. I'd like to help you more and believe we could if you could perhaps tell us a little more about yourself and where you personally are in your life. What are your goals? To get over this girl? To meet another woman? To just make some new friends? Do you want to meet your future wife?

    ~Steve

    ~Steve
     
  10. EasyBoy

    EasyBoy New Member

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    Well, currently I'm 19 trying to get out of school. I know, I effed up. As I am not looking for any serious relationships, I would like to make more female friends. My current group of male friends, I don't hang out with much more because they start to annoy me and get on my nerves so I tend to stay away.

    I would like to meet some more girls, make some more friends with them as I generally get along better with them, at least the few I am friends with already. And if maybe later on, I meet one I like start something. But relationships aren't on my mind right now. Just meeting more women.

    But I know why I am afraid sometimes is because I am one of those guys who are insecure about the way they look. And yeah :\ I've tried many different styles, hair cuts, and yet I am still never really happy with the way I look :(
     
  11. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

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    It seems like you suffer from the same youth-based insecurities that most of us did at one time in our lives.

    STOP SWEATING IT!

    Remember what I told you about body language? Specifically, about reading a girl's body language when your first meeting her? Well guess what.....she's doing the same with you. If you don't do your very best to squash your insecurities and gain some confidence, your shooting yourself in the foot when you meet girls.

    Most girls that I've met have not really been hung up on looks as much as they were with the guy being FUN....or comical. If you can keep a smile on her face because your fun to be with or because you can keep her laughing, she'll care a lot less about your hair, your ears, or whatever else your hung up on about yourself. :)

    Isn't there ONE thing that you do better than most folks around you?
     
  12. EasyBoy

    EasyBoy New Member

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    I talk. A lot. I pretty much never shut up at times. But I don't know if that's an out standing feature or not :\ I am going to the gym on thursday though. I will try the advice. There is actually this one girl I have always wanted to talk to. Guess I will go up to her and say hi :) Wish me luck!
     
  13. Marcpatrick

    Marcpatrick New Member

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    I was 19 too when the 'love of my life' ended our relationship. In all honesty it took me a year to get over her. And I had the same as you - I wasn't interested in other women because I kept pining over that one girl who left me.
    In the end what made me stop thinking about her was when I realised how dumb I was being. I'd spent quite a lot of time obsessing over her, when it struck me that she probably never thought about me at all. So basically I was wasting my time. And just like that all my residue feelings for her disappeared and I became the sex-god that I am today.
     
  14. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

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    Good Luck man!

    You never know, it might be the "first day of the rest of your life......."
     
  15. badboy101

    badboy101 New Member

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    Yeah you just gotta talk to girls. Ask small talk questions, see if they have something in common with you. If you connect, great and if not then what the hell? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. :)

    Go make yourself some good luck dude
     
  16. lbushwalker

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    Hi Easyboy, be your own namesake dude.
    Stay cool, move about, go grocery shopping, Laundromat, DVD store whatever that is where most the woman hang out. Ask random ladies for advice on stuff, get confident talking to them then likely as not sooner or later something magical will happen when you least expect it.
    Got get 'em champ!