need some advice (anyone welcome to post)

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by ayefkay, Jan 20, 2008.

  1. ayefkay

    ayefkay New Member

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    heya, first post on SF, enjoying my time so far :D

    anyway ill get onto my topic, i just need someone to talk to, but i am really embarrased (and afraid) to talk to ppl in real life about it...i am 19 years old (male) and on a wheelchair, ive been physically disabled all my life. i have also never had a girlfriend or experienced sex...which is the main issue. ever since i became ''sexually aware'' (at about age 15) ive always had the thought that, if i werent able to get a girlfriend by the time i became an adult, then i would consider other means to relieve myself....im talking of course about prostitution...now i dont mean to sound like some sex crazed cripple here :p i would love to one day find a girlfriend and have meaningful relationships with, but it almost kills me to see women, and knowing that i rarely get the chance to masturbate....like once a week if im lucky (due to conditions like being in 24 hour care) and even then it becomes more painful than pleasurable...i just dont know if i should go all the way and hire a prostitute to help....i am absolutely petrified of someone finding out, the main reason why i havent done it, and then of course theres all the moral reasons why i shouldnt do it etc... im probably too young to even consider it but its just a thought for the future, if a girlfriend is still out of the picture

    so yeah, anyones welcome to post, just wanna talk to someone about it, and i thought what better place than the privacy of the internet :p
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Hi, Ayefkay! Welcome to :sf. I'm glad you felt comfortable sharing a deeply emotional concern of yours, and I believe you'll get plenty of solid insight and help from the members here.

    I'm sure your thoughts and fears are shared by many in the same situation as yourself. Desiring to know what it's like to enjoy passion and eroticism is as natural as eating and breathing. The idea of finding a prostitute to experience these feelings is not totally far-fetched. As a matter of fact,it's probably done more than you are aware!

    The main thing is making sure you find a desease-free professional. It would be a bit pricier than the $20 street-corner whore. To do that, you may have to confide in a friend or family member whom you feel would sympathize with your dilemna and could 'arrange' the rendevous.

    All that being said, I wouldn't give up on hoping to find a woman with whom you could enjoy not only sex, but a true emotional and loving relationship. Many people with physical challenges have done so. Are you in a group home that caters to people like yourself, or are you being cared for in your family home? It would be good to socialize with others in order to 'put yourself out there', so to speak.

    Rose :rose
     
  3. ayefkay

    ayefkay New Member

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    thanks for your input, and good to meet you :D

    yeah i live with my parents at the moment, not really sure if i can tell my parents about this, as theyre always yellin at my brother about watchin p0rn...so...seeing their point of view of porn as something 'evil' i can imagine what their views on prostitution would be...i have 2 brothers but i am the oldest of the 3 so i cant really ask them yet, maybe in a few years i could...but not now.

    i would absolutely not even consider a street hooker...just for curiosity i looked up a few legalised brothels around my area, i even had the guts to ring one once and ask if they had disability services haha...

    and as for going out and meeting people, i would love to .... i know its gonna be harder for me to find someone, my disability is only physical so i dont doubt myself if i was given the chance, just unfortunately i dont have many friends (you know how kids are at school :p ) the friends i do have are good....theyre just....to put it bluntly, the 'computer nerds' of the class >.> so theyre not fans of goin out n stuff.... goin to start uni this year so hopefully ill find a more...social bunch of ppl

    so yeah, thats me in a nutshell haha. i wouldnt say im depressed about my life, i try not to think of what im missing out on...the only thing i am having trouble coping without is sex, and im worried that if i visit a prostitute once, im going to get 'addicted'... and the cheapest ive found is $250 per half hour which is pretty steep for someone with only a pension of $350 a fortnight...
     
  4. Dreama

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    University will bring you into a place where there are plenty of new people about. I'd definitely wait until you go to uni before I went on hiring prostitutes. Finding a girlfriend who connects with you on an emotional and physical level will most likely be much more rewarding. Just don't give up, and make all sorts of friends. You'll have a blast when you go away to college.
     
  5. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Speak up!

    SEX is as much a part of life as breathing! Explain to your care-givers what you need! I have a friend in NYC with a son in your same situation. The parents understand and set up help for the guy. If a hand job is enough for you, a sympathetic nurse may be better than a prostitute. I assume your parents can give you a $ 100 bill to make the arrangement. Don't be embarrassed!

    If you need more (blow-job or full sex) the escort agencies in any major city will gladly accommodate you. Expect to pay more ($ 200), be totally honest about your condition, and upfront about what you want; blonde, red-head, brunette, thin type, heavy set etc.

    Life is short man! And God wants you to enjoy what He's given you! And if you can get a hard-on, do something with it!
     
  6. ayefkay

    ayefkay New Member

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    ty for the advice guys, talking about it really helps. i think i will wait a little while, before i go ahead and call for a prostitute, though i really dont know who i can trust to be discrete about it, which is my main fear, i just know that if i told one of my brothers about it they would most certainly tell my parents....which sounds stupid to be scared of that but i know how they would react, they have a...VERY catholic aproach when it comes to sex. ie. not until your married, no condoms, even masterbating is 'sinful' to them o_O.....im all for morals n stuff, only do it with girls you intend to have a relationship with etc...but especially over the past year ive noticed how much more nervous and sometimes physically sick i get when i think about sex, followed by being really depressed for the rest of the day...call me a sicko, weak or whatever, but i cant help it, i know that it will help me alot seeing a prostitute, im just afraid of the concequences, who will find out, what are they gonna think of me etc...
     
  7. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    To begin with I would completely avoid a street hooker. First the risk of catching a STD / STI including HIV / AIDs is high. The second reason why I advise against using a hooker is due to the fact many of the are drug addicts who use prostitution to support their habit. This means it is quite possible that they would also try to steal from you or worse if they thought they could get money from it. Final reason for not using a street hooker is prostitution is illegal which means if you do solicit a prostitute you do run the risk of being arrested.

    If that is not bad enough being in 24 hour care makes it that much worse. When you say 24 care do you have someone come into your home or live in a group care facility. Having 24 care in your home is not so bad but if you brought a prostitute to a group home oh boy the issues that it would cause.

    My advice is this 19 is still fairly young and you are just starting out. I know your desire is to have sex and you have 'urges' that any 19 year old male does. However everyone goes at their own pace and it takes a while to find that special someone. Take your time and do not rush it. Finally take some time to talk about the pain that you experience when you masturbate. Granted it is not an easy subject to talk about but there may be something that can be done to address the issue of pain.
     
  8. ayefkay

    ayefkay New Member

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    yeah i know street hookers are definately out of the question, in australia, its legal if its run under a certified business, in which case all girls have weekly health checks etc, even though that doesnt eliminate all the risks, its definately safer than someone off the streets...

    24 hour care for me means, i live at home, i have my mum shower me, take me to the toilet etc...i see how if i had a nurse help me i could ask them to help me but absolutely not my MUM.....i can go out whenever i want, just need someone to drive me, usually one of my parents, but taxi is also an option for me.
     
  9. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Dude, my heart goes out to ya!

    Short story: back in college, one of my female friends had a friend who was handicapped. He wasn't in a wheelchair, but his handicap seriously impaired his legs and upper body. Anyway, my friend had sex with this fella a number of times...some of our friends called it a "sympathy screw". My thoughts? Sex is sex, who cares what you call it!

    As you get older, you will learn that what's on the inside matters a whole helluva lot more than what's on the outside. Everyone learns that as they age (well, maybe not everyone, but most of us do). So, if you have a good heart (and it shows in how you interact with people), then you'll likely find a bunch of candidates who like you for who you are, and whom you also like. So, take your time, make as many friends as you can, and enjoy yourself in general. College should be a good experience for you!

    BD
     
  10. ayefkay

    ayefkay New Member

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    yeah, maybe its different at uni, but from what ive seen, anyone (male or female) tend to look at the physical side of things first, and although they might say theyre into people with good personalities etc... its no secret that a good body and pretty face definately helps you get your foot in the door when it comes to meeting people... even i do it sometimes, as hypocritical as that sounds, its just natural that people lay their eyes on the more attractive person first... im not saying its gonna be impossible for me to find someone, but it'll be much more of a challenge to find her.... but until then, i want to experience atleast one orgasm thats pain free, and not totally embarrasing as one of my parents clean me up afterwards......
     
  11. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Well, true face and/or body tends to create initial interest. But after that initial interest (and VERY shortly after in most cases), other factors take the lead. Check out this thread...I think only one woman listed looks first (and I'd imagine that's because she understands exactly what I said above about looks creating the initial interest). Just about every single woman listed heart and sense of humor as the two most important things. Cool, eh?

    http://www.sexualforums.com/talk/showthread.php?t=15570

    BD
     
  12. ayefkay

    ayefkay New Member

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    heh, thats good to see
     
  13. cbrmale

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    I've seen prostitutes a few times years ago between girlfriends, and the up-market girls were quite nice. Indeed, I had some good experiences with some of those girls, and (believe it or not) memories of a couple of encounters that still live in my head decades later. I think the majority here will find it hard to get their heads around these revelations, but the paid sex was much better than a casual encounter, which is why I did it.

    In any case, if you want to have sex with a prostitute, it might be worth a try. The advice I can give is a bargain may not be a bargain. In your country, I know they have escorts, and from what I've heard the better escorts are quite okay, a bit like the working ladies in Australia.
     
  14. ayefkay

    ayefkay New Member

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    well the one i found charged a couple hundred per hour, all the business is done in their own premises, which looks like a hotel basically. so i think theyre fairly safe, all the girls do weekly health checks. doesnt look like they just pick up street girls or anything. but then again looks can definately be decieving, so i really dont know how to check unless i physically go there.
     
  15. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    Ayefkay,

    You are still young, so I wouldn't jump in to anything and do something you might regret.

    But someone once told me it is better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't done.

    Sometimes that advice makes sense, sometimes it doesn't lol

    I have a few suggestions that may or may not help...

    If you do hire a pro, maybe she could just give you a handjob/blowjob. This would reduce the risk of catching any STDs and would really help release a ton of pent up sexual frustration.

    As for masturbating, you said it is painful? Why?

    You also said it is embarrassing having your mom clean you up? What if you wore a condom? Then there wouldn't be a mess, and you could basically toss the condom yourself down the toilet?

    You have access to the net, so you could order condoms yourself... if you have a credit card or bank account (most condom retailers take online checks).

    Then you could borrow some of your bro's porn collection and go to town without worrying about a big mess.
     
  16. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    Oh my :( What a tricky set of circumstances.

    I know it's difficult to wait for the right person, but I really think you should do it. Prostitutes are expensive and risky.

    I think you have a great attitude about your current dilemma, though. I think it'll only be a matter of time before the right girl comes along!
     
  17. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    And I think Halogen just gave a good answer to a tricky question.
    We can only guess at your real situation, But if your Mom has to take you to the bathroom I can say it seems hopeless, But it's really not. You are going to college and will have a lot of opportunity to meet Girls, And you just may be surprised
    and meet a beautiful young lady that will take care of your sexual needs.
    And remember beauty comes from within.
    You are young yet and new here, As you go along you will find that some
    people come here to figure out why they aren't getting any at a much
    older age than you.
    So hang in their and luck be with you.

    Hiker
     
  18. ayefkay

    ayefkay New Member

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    fliteskates: i agree, i am probably just talking like any other horny teen at the moment, but the fact is im 19 and still havent 'properly' been able to masturbate, having access to porn, or even the cleaning up afterwards isnt the main problem, the main reason its painful is because of my condition. i was born with a muscle wasting disorder, meaning all my muscles and bones will slowly get weaker as the years progress... its painful because of the amount of strength i need to move my arm and body, when i do get the chance to masturbate it is done sitting on a small seat that goes ontop of the toilet, with just enough room for me to sit there, let alone get my hand in, so it gets all cramped, and after 15 minutes of trying, the end doesnt even out how i can barely move my arm for the next hour.....

    Halogen and bighiker: i agree with what you're saying 100%, i know it would be infinately better to find a girlfriend and have that experience with her. but, as bighiker pointed out, needing people to do even the most basic things for me isnt one of my positive features that will attract girls...and lets face it, finding someone who would do all that for me is basically...like finding another (lot younger hopefully :p) mother teressa or something
     
  19. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    Ayefkay,

    So I assume you have use of both arms - correct? Have you ever tried using both arms... ie switching up after a few minutes.

    You have to masturbate in the bathroom because...? You share a room with someone?

    It is easier to masturbate when you are laying down... because you can rest your arm on a pillow and basically just use your wrist.

    Is it possible for you to masturbate when you lay down?

    I think this site can help you out:

    http://www.jackinworld.com/

    I used to go there when I was a horny teenager like you and got some good ideas.

    I know you are somewhat limited in the ways you can do it, but I guarantee you will pick up alot of tips that will help you out.
     
  20. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Aefkay said

    I can assure you that their is plenty of Mother Theressa,s out their
    So don't let one get away if She ever takes an intrest in you.

    Hiker