Need opinions

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by thesandman6, Mar 20, 2011.

  1. thesandman6

    thesandman6 New Member

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    So theres this girl I'm into, pretty sure shes into me and all that. I suffer from social anxiety which makes it really hard to make a move a girl I'm into. I end up just locking up and not knowing what to say to do and they usually perceive it as I'm disinterested in them.
    Anyways, she just got out of a 3 year relationship with an abusive guy about a month ago. I've already decided I'm going to try to peruse this and see where it goes. My only problem is I don't want to be another rebound, been there and done that, and don't want to deal with again. This has made me some what reluctant to move in yet.
    Coincidently she has some friends visiting from out of state that brought her ex with them and they are having a fling while they are down here for a few days. Anyone think this might be to my advantage? I cant decide to just say screw it and walk away or wait a week or so move in if I can figure out how the fuck to do it.
     
  2. lovn_my_bbw

    lovn_my_bbw New Member

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    wait to see how she still feels about him.
     
  3. Alwayslearningsex

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    I don't like taking hopes away, be negative, yet at the same time I want to tell you what can be for you to deal with, hopefully I am wrong.
    There are possibilities:
    1. That she will turn guys down, time to get herself back together, or avoiding men altogether
    2. Sometimes until someone hits rock bottom people have a bad habit of following a pattern so she may favor another jerk over a nice guy and there is nothing you can do to convince her otherwise.
    3. The "friends" (Friends????? WTFF?!?!??! Friends? Really) are bringing her ex with them ...... WTF is wrong. I see red flags and she will be messed up emotionally, he will suck up and beg back with her, the so called friends are there to help WHO??????? Helping ???? MY F... ASS.
    I read this line and itt screams walk away, she won't be good for you for a while.

    If 1, 2 and 3 are wrong and she is back on her feet instead of being a rebound - something you really should avoid - one thing to do with any girl is to just take the chance and know you can be rejected, but one thing is to have friends and people you trust to be around and make her see you can be good for her, one of your people let her know you are interested in her, feel things around. It doesn't hurt to be seen with another girl you have no interest in but you are still friendly and if the one you like sees you with someone it can get her curiosity and interest.
    Knowing your female helper is not there for you romantically takes away the pressure of being with her and she can also help you with the one you like.
     
  4. Trond

    Gold Member

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    He's an abusive guy?? I'm not sure if I would wait much longer. The timing may not be the best, but if you feel like telling him now, then screw that guy. Send her an email, text or even a hand written letter if you are having trouble saying how you feel to her face. Come to think of it, unless you know she tends to fall for romantic gestures a nice text message asking her out is probably best. It's less pressure for both of you, and she doesn't have to make up her mind on the spot.
     
  5. thesandman6

    thesandman6 New Member

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    I might have worded op confusingly. She just broke up with the abusive guy who lives around here, her ex that is visiting from another state that ended on good terms. Trust me if it was the abusive guy I would be there right now expressing my concerns. I'm pretty sure she thinks I like her somewhat, but with my anxiety I have given mixed signals to girls before so I'm not quite sure. I'm sure she knows I would be good for her, she knows all my good friends and me hers. I'm going out to a race with her next week. I'm thinking about getting some anti anxiety pills and talking to that night. The only think I'm worried about is I don't want to run into an emotional train wreck of bullshit that happened in my last relationship as she also came form an abusive relationship.
     
  6. thesandman6

    thesandman6 New Member

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    Ok so now im more confused than ever. I told the girl that I like her a lot, and think shes anamazing woman and I'm sure that she wants to just be single because shes always been in relationship since I've known her and I know what shes going through. She agreed and told me that she doesn't want to even date anyone for a long time and she thought I liked her. Then immediately after this converstion she asked me to move in with her because her current roommate is moving out at the end of the month. She also has started flirting with me more and for some reason thinks something is different with me and I am acting different around her.