Need Help..Pretty Please?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by kestler7, Apr 3, 2011.

  1. kestler7

    kestler7 New Member

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    I've been with my current girlfriend for about two and a half years. I have a high libido, she has a pretty low one and it annoys the hell out of me. Don't get me wrong, it isn't her low libido that bothers me, it is my high one. Does anyone know of any ways to possibly lower it?
     
  2. collette

    collette Member

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    I think the key is to find someone whose libido is complementary to your own just as you seek someone whose other traits are complementary to your own. Otherwise unfortunately resentment will inevitably follow, at least in my experience.

    I don't think trying to change your drive is the right approach. I assume if you've been together for so long you've attempted to be satisfied with the situation, but as you say it annoys you. Sorry no better news from me anyway.
     
  3. lbushwalker

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    Hi Kestler, unfortunately Collete is right (and she should know) things will never get better for you in that regards.
    There are many women around with high to very high libido, many more than people appreciate.
    In this day and age women are unafraid of this and will actively seek out guys who are capable of providing to their needs.
    Your own libido is the way your body functions and there is no way to alter that nor should you instead rejoice in it with someone compatible.
    Sad about your girl but the way it is she will eventually resent your constant approach and desires/need.
     
  4. backcheck64

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    Yep, shes right. Square Ped Round Hole...You can keep trying, but it's never gonna be right and always be a source of contention. You mignt try to get a doctor to perscribe anti depressants, but is that the way you really want to live? You may want to start looking elsewhere.
     
  5. lbushwalker

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    Hate to say it yet again but have to agree with wisdom espoused by venerable opinionated BC64!
     
  6. backcheck64

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    Opinion, I prefer experience. Both life and the University of Missouri Psychology Dept....and being raised by a LCSW with a Masters from St Louis U and years and years...and years in private practice.
     
  7. Meee

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    I'm not ready to write off your relationship yet. As usual, I'll answer your question with some questions. What do you mean about her having a low libido? How does she show it? Pushing you away? Being tired? Saying "Not tonight?" Agreeing to have sex but lying there like one of those weird silicone dolls?

    What do you mean you've "been with" her for two and a half years? Living together? Occasional dates? Seeing each other almost every day? Travel together? Have you had children together?

    How old are you? How old is she?
     
  8. lbushwalker

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    Yea, yeah whatever BC64........but nothing beats experience which dude you have in demonstrable quantities but you are not alone in that nor self in confidence ok?
    I am Master of my Destiny too as well as M.Sc. in Med Science but who cares?
    We love women and that is what really matters.
    No offence or challenge meant here but it does bug me some that I agree with you so often and don't know why.
    Two bulls in the paddock syndrome what you reckon mate?
     
  9. Meee

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    LOL, so even when two men agree, they fight? This is very educational for me.
     
  10. Trond

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    Ummm...for the record, many studies are now showing that men are, on average, a good deal hornier than women. It may be a good idea not to hook up with someone that differs too much from yourself (I should know), but finding partners with similar libidos for everyone (or even most people) is simply impossible. Yes, there are some very horny women out there, but the math does not add up. Sad but true.

    Lowering your libido may be even more impossible without drugs, so if you don't want to break up, you just have to learn to live with the differences. Would she be offended if you enjoy different kinds of erotica (porn, strip clubs) on your own?
     
  11. backcheck64

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    Thats about right.

    Of course. I'll knock my best friends teeth down hit throat if the occasion calls for it. LOL. The nice thing is guys will beat the crap out of eachother, then sit down for a beer. Women will back stab and plot against eachother for ever.
     
  12. collette

    collette Member

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    You know ~ I was thinking of myself ( the high libido one) being resentful but you are right that it happens that way too! Good point.
     
  13. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    well, you can remove you nuts. that'll lower your libido. go on anti-depressants or you can wait till you get older. its 50/50 whether you lose it as you get older or not.
     
  14. collette

    collette Member

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    that smarts a bit
     
  15. lbushwalker

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    No more Collette......thanks to Viagra, Tadafil & Cilalis :tup
    They are even very cheap in the generic brand form.
    Dirty minded old men like me can still be downright dirty....thanks heavens!!!
    Got to say I must have lived in the best period in history.
    60s mini skirt & women's lib
    70s contraceptive pill, free love & orgy parties
    80s & 90s can't remember much as was mostly family man but later there was the start of the Internet & porn
    00s, mobile phones, text messages, e-mail and Viagra!
    Now pure heaven......................older but happily in lust:D
     
  16. collette

    collette Member

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    Oh Bushwalker you silly thing I should have been more specific it was the cutting of the nuts part I thought would smart a bit LOL
     
  17. Martin_Baker

    Martin_Baker New Member

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    Yep, that's often how men become mates to start with. They have a dust-up, then best mates.
     
  18. Flame

    Flame New Member

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    Very important questions. I agree that finding someone else is not necessarily the only option; it depends on how the rest of the relationship is going. If all else is amazingly wonderful and incredible, it may be worth making the sacrifice when it comes to sex.

    Otherwise, why not try and meet each other mid-way? That's what happened with my husband and I. I have a much higher libido than he and things got really bad for quite a while. I was so frustrated it hurt! But I found ways to naturally slow my sex drive down a little and his increased a bit so although we still don't have the same needs, it is a lot, lot better!