Need Advice

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by exile777, Apr 6, 2007.

  1. exile777

    exile777 New Member

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    Hi all this is my First post Ill get right down to the problem I have.. I feel rather embarressed to talk about this, I dont know why But I'm going to try my best.

    I'm 20 years old And about 9 months ago I met a girl online (online video game)
    I live in Arizona she lives in Canada,It started off with some chatting and then the phone calls.. We eventually fell in love with each other... To the point where we were on the phone with each other All day and night.. We even started to fall asleep with each other on the phone.. I have been a virgin for 20 years of my life.. and have never had a gf so she was my first "gf" if you consider it that. For about 5 months I saved every penny I could to go see her.. I ended up taking a trip out there in January. Things went great It was incredible.. I remember the night before I had to go back home and we were both crying and all the mushy stuff.. I then turned around and took ANOTHER trip out there in Feb which I stayed for 2 weeks living in her house and in her bedroom.

    We have had sex, ALOT actually but my problem is this we where both Virgins untill that point I think.. She had previous bf's she explained she did alot but never actually had sex.. I dont know if that is true but I beileve it. We planned a trip for her to come visit me in June but my problem is She just recently 2 days ago to be exact got a Dildo/Vibrater.. It's one of those Rabbit ones I dont know if anyone is familier with those but anyway.. The Toy is bigger than me.. I'm wondering if that will cause a problem in our sex life.. I've always felt I was average or a little below average.. but this thing is noticably bigger than me.. If she uses this thing on a regular basis untill june will it affect our sexualy expierences.. Will it cause her to look at me differantly, if she gets used to the size of this thing ? Everyone I talked to said not to worry about it, But it plagues my mind and it haunts me everytime I think about it or hear her mention it. And what scares me more is she seems to REALLY like it. Any advice?
     
  2. Joe

    Joe
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    The Rabbit does some amazing things that no real guy could do, but you have nothing to worry about. Your hand can grip your penis in ways a vagina can't, or you might get one of those "pocket pals" or a "fleshlight" that would also feel great, but it wouldn't affect how you feel about her, would it? A toy can feel good and help one reach an orgasm, but it's just a masturbation device; it can't replace a real, loving person.
     
  3. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Plus you can always help her use the rabbit, whilst pleasuring her in other ways at the same time....dont be scared of it.
    On the whole your able to do far more than the toy, but add them both together hehe
     
  4. exile777

    exile777 New Member

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    The main thing that haunts me about this thing is the size of it.. It makes me feel infirior(sp)
    to it. Im just worried I wont be able to please her after she uses this thing so much.. Its all I care about making her happy and pleasing her. I can care less about myself.
     
  5. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    You hit the nail on the head, the toy is an "IT" lots of guys seem to feel bad when their lover gets a masturabory toy that is bigger then they are, dont feel badly about "IT". She isnt going to get rid of you and having a loving relationship with the toy, well if you wish to pleasure her then help her use the toy, as well as pleasuring her wit hyour own body, i very much doubt she will be unable to feel you , even if she does use this toy a lot.

    You are a living breathing person, that will be able to show her reactions to what she is doing for you, the toy is a one way pleasure device. it can not show how much pleasure it is getting from her body.
     
  6. exile777

    exile777 New Member

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    Kronnie,
    thank you so much for your help, So there is no fear of it getting streched out or loosing up after she uses it alot and affecting our sexual life?
     
  7. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Affecting your sexual life...like i said i doubt that very much, unless you take this to far deep into your own head and let it affect you.

    Ask her, what she feels about you. If you are dating her then im sure she loves you very much, and isnt trying to replace you with a toy.
    If you love and trust her, then take on board what she tells you.
    Like Joe said as well , your hand can grip your penis far stronger than her vagina can, but do you still feel pleasure when making love to her , of course you do, and i am sure she will still feel pleasure when you make love to her as well. :)
     
  8. exile777

    exile777 New Member

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    I totally agree with what you guys are saying, I think it's Mostly in my head and I'm trying to deal with it as best as I can, I'm new to this whole thing and she is my first Gf, hearing it from you guys is making if very clear and making this whole situation alot more soothing..

    I would like to thank you guys for your help and advice, It has made me feel ALOT better and I think tonight ill be able to sleep peacefully. Thanks again :D
     
  9. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Anytime :) Advice here is always something you can count on from one member or another :)
     
  10. exile777

    exile777 New Member

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    Also There is one other problem I have.. When we have sex I have been only able to do it doggy style and it hurts her feelings because she wants to "be apart of the work". we have tried it other ways.. She really wants to try it with her on top but every time we try it I go soft before I can put it in.. I have NO clue what the problem is but I go soft as she trys to put it in.. She is not fat she is beautiful and I Love her so much I just dont know were that comes from.
     
  11. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Im not sure on this problem, not something i have come across before :(
    But have you watched a lot of porn films and gotten the arousal from seeing doggystyle peformed in them ?
     
  12. exile777

    exile777 New Member

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    Yeah thats true 90% of the porn I've watched was prolly doggy style.. I do want to try other things I just get soft and its so fast.. one second Ill be hard and the next ill be soft.. :/
     
  13. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Maybe geting some sexual aid videos , rather than pron, and maybe both of you could sit down and watch together...this may help ( im not saying it will ) you to learn to enjoy other ways with her.

    Like i said i have no real advice to give on this problem, simply because it isnt one i have come across before , sorry i could not be of more help to you on this matter.
     
  14. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    A few words of advice...

    Don't be in intimidated by sex toys. They serve more or less the same purpose that watching porn serves for guys, which is a masturbatory aid only. Some women don't like it when their men jerk to porn. Some men don't like it when their women use dildos. It's the same thing. Neither of them likes the idea of their partners being stimulated by anything or anyone other than them. But there's really no need to get that worked up about it.

    Also, I know it's hard but try not to base any your real life sexual expectations on anything you've seen in porn films. Porn is a show, and is staged like a show, and is no way indicative of what actually happens when normal people have sex.
     
  15. exile777

    exile777 New Member

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    Well It's not that, I dont base my sexual life on what I've seen in porn, I dont know what It is.. I DO want to be able to make love to her on top and in my mind I think it would be great.. but when it comes time and she is on top of me.. I loose control and I get soft, and it's fustrating for ME and her.. I wish nothing more than to be able to do it.. I think the main problem is ONLY when she is on top.. I dont know if I get nervous or what, It's really fustrating though..

    On the sex toy note, the Idea of her using one seemed Awesome, I loved the aspect of her getting one, She was never a fan of touching herself and she said that she couldnt get off by touching with her fingers.. she mentioned all the time that the only way she would be able to get off is say using a shower head or the jets on a bath.. because it stimulated her clit. The thing that bothers me on the Sex toy is the size of it.. If the sex toy was a little less thick maybe more close to me thant I would be all for it.. I just get haunting images in my head of this big thing spreading her open and her enjoying the size of it, and Looking and me and going "wow hes actually small" or Loving me to death but not being able to be pleased by me because she is used to the size of this toy and its affected her..

    The thing that makes me feel wierd about it and I know its probably normal is when we have sex, After she will want to go again like 5-10 min after and she would go like that for 2-3 times.. She's like that with this thing.. She will use it then 5-10 min later want to use it again.. It makes me worry that she prefers the size of it.. and that my size will affect us.
     
  16. exile777

    exile777 New Member

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    I know I'm prolly paranoid, and self concious about my size, but it's always been haunting me my entire life.. I had to get shots to speed up the puberty process.. so all my life I've been behind most men puberty wise.. And as a 20 year old man I still AM behind.. So I've always worried about that throughout my life.. She is the first thing that came along and made me feel differant.. for example.. She refers to me as "beautiful" "your cock is beautilful"

    When she pulled this thing out of the box her first words were.. "It's really thick I dont know how Its going to fit inside of me" I practically fell over in my chair and died..
     
  17. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Yeah I can certainly see how that might make you feel a little unnerved and uncomfortable. Most women are ready to have sex again almost immediately, but most guys need a retractory period of at least ten minutes, but more like an hour. The vibe needs no retractory time at all. It's ready to go whenever she is and there's no way a normal human male can compete with that. As for the size issue, you've probably heard that most women aren't size queens. Most of us would rather have a nice short but thick one than a nine inch skinny dick. I'd say that it's not necessary the size of the thing that she prefers, but rather the fact that it's always ready to go.

    That is kinda weird how minutes after you guys finish she's picked the thing up and started using it. Perhaps the novelty of it will wear off after a while and she'll get over it.
     
  18. PappaBear

    PappaBear New Member

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    Your afraid that your going to have to compete with a sextoy ? Brother , sure it can vibrate & ummmm it can also errrrrrrrr well nothing else I can think of LoL . It'll never have a meaningful conversation with her , take her to a romantic dinner , run her a nice hot bubble bath or offer her a shoulder to cry on when she's sad . You have nothing to worry about brah , that toy shold be intimidated by you , not the other way around >:]
     
  19. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Nicely put, PappaBear. :)
     
  20. g8rguy

    g8rguy Member

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    On the contrary, my wife doesn't like it doggy style so I don't stay as hard that way. Our gf, though, loves it doggy style and I stay hard for her. Go figure. I think it's all mental. Kronnie is an exception to a rule that I believe true, that all who possess a y chromosome will have some erection issues at some time, even in their youth.