need advice with giving pleasure

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by doclucky, Jul 4, 2006.

  1. doclucky

    doclucky New Member

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    Ok, im not if this is the right place to put this thread or not, but here goes. Ive been dating this girl for a year now, and we started getting real serious (sexually) about 4 months ago. My favorite thing to do is going down on a girl, and she love it when i do, but i cant "persuade" her to reach orgasm, ive tried everything i know how to and have run out of ideas, does any one have any advice they can give me?
     
  2. Thorn

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    What do you do while going down on her? Are you hitting the right place(s) with your tongue? How long do you stay at it? (Don't get frustrated if she doesn’t get off after 20 - 30 minutes.) Do you receive input from her about what she likes/dislikes about it? Does she need more romance/foreplay before your head gets between her legs? These are all important and I know you will eventually get her off and it will be great for the both of you. BTW it should get easier after you break through for the first time. :)
     
  3. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    From a woman's prospective, I would add that it can take getting past some psychological hurdles to orgasm orally. Much of our sexual freedom is won (or lost) in the mind.
    Relax, and enjoy yourselves. Try not to put so much pressure on the 'finish'. You are still learning each other; so, like Thorn said, communicate your likes and dislikes. Also, if you have done any searching on this forum about women's pleasure, orally, you will find that most women prefer alot of clitoral stimulation, and not real hard/rough stuff. Switch up on doing different things, but if you notice something that seems to make her moan a bit more.. that might be something you want to do for a while ;) . Some finger play is always nice, if she indicates that's something she likes.
    Every woman is different, so these are suggestions, but the communication between the two of you is most important.
    :rose
     
  4. AnonymousOne

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    Thorn ... your wife should be a sex therapist.

    *Begins building a Shrine to Rose*

    Honestly, clucky, it's all about communication, get her to respond to what feels best, and then tease her with it. Sex is 50% communication, 25% Imagination, and 25% persperation (Well, this is variable depending on the amount of anti-persperant both individuals are wearing :D )
     
  5. doclucky

    doclucky New Member

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    well, right now i think were at 20% communication 65% imagination and 15% perspiration (she glistens:) ).... but yeah, i know communications important, but she feels foolish telling me things like that (on that note, i think i failed to mention shes a virgin... i dont know how much difference that makes though.... never been with one before) and when i go down, i start with long light licks, and work up more pressure and cinter in towards the clitoris as i go......
     
  6. Joe

    Joe
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    From my experience in giving head, variation is always welcome towards the beginning, but when it comes down to the stretch and she's getting close, keep doing the same thing. Once you've found the spot and tempo that's working for her, don't change a thing unless/until she forces a change.

    On the other hand, as Rose says, don't worry too much about the orgasm. As long as she's enjoying it and you're enjoying it, don't feel like she MUST orgasm. That puts pressure on both of you, and that's the last thing you want. Think of making love as taking a leisurely drive through the countryside. If you enjoy the journey, you needn't arrive at a destination right away. There will be other "drives", and you'll get there sometime. Meanwhile, enjoy the scenery.
     
  7. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    As a virgin, has she EVER "finished"? Has she had an orgasm by any means?

    I think many women would agree that learning to relax and let go during oral, allowing yourself to really have and enjoy an orgasm, is difficult. It takes time and trust and a lot of self-knowledge.

    As said before, enjoy the trip and be patient with her. If she thinks that you are only doing oral to make her cum, every time she doesn't cum she's going to likely be more nervous and closed off the next time you try. If she knows you taste her because you love to taste her, that you love the whole journey, she's going to relax and enjoy it more each time.
     
  8. rene48

    rene48 New Member

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    Try telling her a hot story as you "finger" her, go deep, talk dirty stuff, how good she smells and how I'd love to fuck you right now, and hear her hot breathin, then go down. BUT, know what you are doing. I've known guys that has NO friggin idea of what to do, or will ever know. There are a few professionals to me. But learn, and hey, turn off the tv, perhaps that is on, that can ruin anything, but radio music could persuade the moment. Just play with her, tell her how gorgeous her ass is. Tell her hot stuff, "you know many men have talked about wanting to fuck you, but I am the lucky one", anything, women love to hear words and be praised of their beauty. Then, too don't be in such a rush. You have forever. Once she reaches this plateau, there won't be any other distractions. Mainly to me though, it's probably you, take no offense, you need to know the spots, while you are nibbling on the clit, finger her as well, give hell honey, ok? That's my perspective. My guy just knows how to. So glad of that.
     
  9. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    Assuming you are staying down there long enough and varying your technique, she sounds like she really just needs to let go at the end and let it happen. Something might be bothering her or causing her to be distracted. Are you also inserting your fingers into her while working her clit with your tongue? That dual stimulation is very intense for a woman. Your fingers can work her g-spot or other goodies inside which will intensify the experience and put her over the top.