Need advice on how to get a girl...

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Shandsome, Jan 13, 2007.

  1. Shandsome

    Shandsome New Member

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    can some1 teach me techniques on how to get a girl to fall for me?
     
  2. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    These days, if I was looking for a girlfriend, and assuming that some of the women who post here were not available, I would probably go to one of the online services (OKCupid, eHarmony, etc.), take their tests and try to find someone with whom I would be very compatible. However, if I liked torturing myself and decided to do it the hard way, like Jayce and A1 (just teasing guys - wouldn't tease you if I didn't like you ;>), I would STAY OUT OF BARS and would look into clubs and activities (which also have female members and participants) in which I was very interested and just participate in those. I would also be patient and fight down any feelings of desperation. I have seen it time and time again - a man or woman stops looking, starts feeling comfortable with themselves and develops some confidence in themselves, does things in which they are interested, enjoying life when, suddenly, "BOOM" they have a girlfriend or girlfriends or a boyfriend or boyfriends and later are headed for the marriage ceremony or, at least, living together. Also, when you do get a girlfriend, CARE ABOUT HER, BE GOOD TO HER! Treat her like you would want her to treat you (as long as that is good and kind)! As I observe human relations nowadays (I'm sort of a social science hobbyist, so to speak, which is one of the reasons I come here and read posts - that and teasing some of the regular posters with my off the wall sense of humor, and, as mentioned above, wouldn't tease these guys and gals if I didn't like them), one thing that deeply saddens me is that with some people, it's "all about them, all about what "trips their trigger", what "bangs their gong" and not enough about loving and caring about the other person. So, get to the point that you like yourself, like your single life and are regularly around women who would be likely to share your interests in some things but don't be desperate. When someone starts to show interest, be considerate and kind and nice - don't put on an act, be as normal as possible - and just sort of leave the door open to a relationship and encouraging and kind when someone shows an interest. If I was starting to date a woman, I would sort of let her take the lead, to a certain extent, and would not bring up sex but let her bring it up, being supportive along the way, gentle, kind and open. Of course, this is all my opinion and how I would approach things. I am sure that some of the others will have other advice for you as well. Good luck to you.
     
  3. Shandsome

    Shandsome New Member

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    i mean, i got a girl at school, whom i really really like, but i dont know if she likes me or not, and i dont know if she thinks im not handsome enough for her, and how do i approach her?
     
  4. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    One thing you might try is to see if you have any mutual friends who could introduce you in a social setting of some kind. If you know of anyone who knows anything about her, whom you can trust, you might see if they think that she might like you or can find out for you. Also, if it should turn out that she is not attracted to you, doesn't think that you are handsome enough, hey, you are better off without her and she is missing a golden opportunity with you! Anyway, another thing that you can do is to simply ask her out to a game or movie or some such - just take the direct approach. Just be nice and polite and ask her. If she says yes, great, if she says no, well, again, her loss not yours! There have been times in life when I have been turned down more often than a sheet in a New Orleans whorehouse, and times when it seemed like I could easily connect with women. That happens to most guys, even the most handsome. However, you won't know until you either ask somebody or ask her. Go for it! Good luck! I'm cheering for you! ;>
     
  5. Shandsome

    Shandsome New Member

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    i dont know if she would...and i reckon she wont...
     
  6. Staypuff

    Staypuff New Member

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    You know, just go up and start talking to her. HAve a converstion about school, friends, funny things and such. After a while, tell her you like her. You would be surprised how many girls notice you and all. She might even ask you if you two want to get together.
     
  7. Shandsome

    Shandsome New Member

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    is there any way to get her to come over to me instead of me going to her? lol
     
  8. cbrmale

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    The worst thing about being a man is you learn confidence with women after you've had a few relationships, by which time you're settled and you don't really need it!

    What probably works in this instance is a simple invitation, would you like to go with me to 'somewhere' (eg. the mall for something to drink or a bite to eat)? Girls like confident men, get used to it! So no blushing if you can help it, no ums and aahs, just straight up. The only way is when she is on her own, and then you go to her and say "hello girl it's a lovely day, and I would love to do something special on this marvellous day. Maybe you and I could go 'somewhere' after school?' A little small talk to break the ice, and then a confident invitation.

    Now it's been a long time since I was a teenager, and what would work for me now at 48 is possibly different to then, but the gist of my suggestion is probably okay.
     
  9. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    To "get" her to come over to you...... if she means something to you, if you wish to have her in your life, tell her. Otherwise, wait for someone to walk up to you and tell you that you mean something to them and they want you in their life. But don't wait for someone YOU ALREADY care about, to come to you. I'm slow to call names, but that is foolish.
     
  10. cbrmale

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    It is a bit scary to be rejected, but you gotta put your balls on the line and make a move. It'll either get you somewhere or nowhere, but if you don't do it, it isn't going to happen on it's own. And the more often you do this sort of thing with girls, the easier it becomes.
     
  11. Staypuff

    Staypuff New Member

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    :lol
    You know, girls get just as nervous as boys do.
    Be brave man, be brave!
     
  12. Shandsome

    Shandsome New Member

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    mmm
    but its soooooo embarrassing to get rejected
    lol
     
  13. Dreama

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    Everyone gets rejected. It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you, you know. It just means that that person isn't the right one for you. So what? Why would you care to be with someone who isn't into you anyway. Smile and move on. Love yourself and other people will love you always, just as a side effect of that. The relationship you have with yourself should be the most intimate and loving one of all anyway. So, don't waste your time with anxious thoughts of rejection. Just ask the girl out, and if she doesn't say yes, go to the next person. You always have yourself, and that should be a big comfort.
     
  14. Shandsome

    Shandsome New Member

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    yep, but...i got a lot of "face"
    is there no way to impress a girl?
     
  15. juicyjenny

    juicyjenny New Member

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    Girls love guys with gut!

    You just have to make a move to get most things in life. Things don't come to you on their own. So you have to walk up to her and tell her you are interested. I think other ppl here have offfered you solid tips you could use to get started. Stop throwing up excuses. Go get her now. You'd be surprised to discover she is'nt hard to get after all.

    Be brave. Girls love guys with gut!

    Jennifer.

    http://kissing102.blogspot.com
     
  16. Dreama

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    If you aren't willing to go up to a girl, and ask her a simple yes or no question, what does it matter? I know it is really hard to just dive in there and go for it, but if you don't eventually do that, you will soon find that in all areas in life, you've missed out.
     
  17. Staypuff

    Staypuff New Member

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    If you really wanted it (or her/him), you would go after it.
    Take a chance, because you wouldn't have one unless you tried.
     
  18. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    Of course, you could always stuff a banana or a rolled up pair of socks in the front of your pants! ;>
     
  19. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Shandsome: I have read a good reply to your problem
    and you keep finding ways to avoid the obvious. You must
    ask her out. Or just ask her to go to one of the school activities
    with you. Just for a swim at nthe school swiming pool
    or to the gym.
    Dont try a stupid stunt to impress her, that simply doesnt work
    and dont wait for her to ask you, And dont ever think that
    you need to be more handsome. What you need at this point
    is a little more self esteem.
    Just go for it and ask, If you never ask you will never know
    and dont be afraid of being rejected, it only hurts
    for a little while.
     
  20. Shandsome

    Shandsome New Member

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    ok, i will try it