My Xmas vacation.....

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Hot Wheels, Dec 25, 2009.

  1. Hot Wheels

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    Im still wondering how my wife talked me into it…..going to visit the outlaws in Canberra for Xmas….the only city in Australia where just about every bloody thing shuts down completely at 9.00pm at night.
    She wanted to go for over a week, but I talked her down to 4 days…. figured that’s about all I could take.
    Our daughter and son-in-law live in a modest home in McGregor and they have a caravan in the front yard where we were supposed to sleep (another reason I didn’t want to be stuck down there for a whole week) :ugh
    We lob in on Xmas eve, do the pressie deal around the tree for the grandkids and go to bed about 1.00am.
    Its still hot and they give us a fan to keep cool……great idea except even on low speed it’s like trying to sleep under a helicopter about to take off……my missus starts snoring, ……then, not 5mtrs away in their bedroom, my son-in-law starts as well…..he can drown out the noise from a chainsaw with his snoring and by 2.30am,…. Ive had enough ….Im cursing myself for being to big a tightass to pay for a motel room (not that there was any free over Xmas anyway)… grab my pillow and keys and decide to sleep in the car.
    Its still hot and Im only wearing a Tshirt and shorts…..uncomfortable as buggery after origamiing my six foot plus frame into the back seat of the my car.
    Within an hour or so….it starts to cool down, lots, then it starts to rain (typical Canberra) and next I’m shivering and cramped up…..stuff this :eek:utahere
    I decide that I’ll take my chances in the house rather than walk like a cripple for the next 3 days and give half my next pay to the chiropractor.
    After plugging my ears with two pieces of Kleenex, (all I could find in the dark) I settle down on the lounge at about 3.30am and just start to drift off when feel this "thump" on my chest……it’s their damn cat.:uhh:
    After the cat has finished its flight down the hallway at the end of my foot the stupid bastard comes back not 20 mins later and does it again ……WTF?:mad
    I’m starting to get pissed by now and give it another toss across the room only this time it runs into the Xmas tree….fully laden with decorations and lights,… it starts to lean……I dive off the lounge and grab it before it falls over….fumbling around in the dark trying to prop the damn thing back up again.. :whoa
    This time, the cat exits the front door about 2mtrs off the ground and doesn’t come back…..I settle back on the lounge, its now almost 4.30am.
    I swear I only blinked, that's what it felt like anyway, but in that time 2hours went past and I hear the kids coming down the hallway to see what Santa has bought them…….aaaaargh….

    That was the first night of my Christmas vacation…..pretty cool eh’
    We’ll see what the next 3 days bring I guess……. :eyes
     
  2. Barbwire

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    I guess this thread got pushed aside in the holiday craziness here at my house, because I just noticed I'd never read it.

    So, now, after having read it and laughed my jolly round ass off, I have a coupla questions for ya.

    First off, please explain what a caravan is. Thanks.

    This is my favourite sentence of the whole tale of woe,

    "Its still hot and Im only wearing a Tshirt and shorts…..uncomfortable as buggery after origamiing my six foot plus frame into the back seat of the my car."

    Reading, "uncomfortable as buggery" made me guffaw most heartily. Hafta ask, is "origamiing" another quaint bit of Aussie slang or a typo? I'm stumped but, it's funny as hell.

    I hope the rest of it went better than your first night, luv. Please give us an update.
     
  3. Hot Wheels

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    Since the post wasn't replied to, I didn't bother expanding on it.....but since you asked,
    the second and third nights weren't too bad but I got complacent on night no. four and paid the price....

    On the last night of my summer vacation we got to bed (still in the "trailer") at about 12.30am.
    It’s raining and a little windy….where my son-in-law has parked it, the branches from the tree next door drag too' and fro’ across the roof with a kind of scratching sound and the water falling from the tree branches makes this sorta’ blob……blob……blob…….blob sound every ten or so seconds….very soothing….NOT!:ugh
    Meanwhile, Mrs. HW is doing her best imitation of chopping down a large tree in her sleep….usually, I can roll her onto her side but when the so-called bed is only the size of an average dinner table this wasn’t really an option.:uhh:
    So I'm laying there, listening to a human buzz-saw on one side and hearing the scratching and blobbing when the dog next door starts barking (its one of those old dogs that has to stop for a while between barks to get its breath back you know) so we’re getting this every 30 seconds or so right?…..I had thought it was locked out but it wasn’t…..it was barking at the possum in the tree next to us…..
    It eventually spooks the possum, which then falls out of the tree right on top of the van with a thud strong enough to even wake Mrs. HW…..who promptly goes "Oh, its just a possum" then instantly goes back to sleep and refires the buzz-saw…..:eek
    Not one hour later, a car screams up to the corner across the street, turns and tears off up the road….I'm laying there thinking I'm glad he’s gone……a half hour later, here he comes back the other way, only this time he doesn’t make the corner…..there’s a loud thump, then a couple of bangs as he grinds to a halt outside the house.
    Car doors banging, kids yelling…..faaark' man….look what you’ve done to my car dude!!!
    Some kid says they better get away before somebody wakes up…..
    Err'.. hello!!…somebody is already awake you idiot!!!!:mad
    I lay there listening to them trying to drive off down the road with what sounded like two flat tyres…..
    My wife had asked me the previous day what time do you want to leave?….when I replied "dawn"! she didn’t seem amused for some reason:uhh:
    I spent the rest of the night talking to myself….repeating "come-on sun-up"…come-on sun-up over and over……
    We came home the next day…..never been so pleased to see my own bed…..
    That night, I slept like a baby.;)
     
    #3 Hot Wheels, Jan 6, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2010
  4. heelfetish

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    I read your post, but didn't want to respond, because I just had the beast Christmas ever. So many great things happening all around, I didn't want to rub it in.
     
  5. Barbwire

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    Do tell us about your beast Christmas in another thread, Heelie. It sounds exciting and somewhat dangerous. :lol
     
  6. heelfetish

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  7. Barbwire

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    I read it, but saw no mention of beasts. :(
     
  8. heelfetish

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    Oh dammit, I didn't even notice that typo til now! :lol

    We had some wild, beast-like sex over the holidays, does that count?
     
  9. Barbwire

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    Not unless you start a thread about it. ;)
     
  10. heelfetish

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    Not much to tell, really. But I'll try. :)
     
  11. heelfetish

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  12. Bowler

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    Hmm, I've always dreamed of spending xmas in oz, sunbathing on the beach on xmas day.
    Maybe I should re-think that idea.

    You've killed my dream. :(
    lolol
     
  13. heelfetish

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    Too funny, Bowler! :lol