I've known my wife owns a couple of sex toys for a long time. Nothing special, one of those magic wands with an attachment, and another attachment that doesn't fit, but she keeps in her bag. And I know she uses them because the bag she stores them in is in a different position every couple of days. The sad thing is, we don't have sex (she is never in the mood, too tired, says I shouldn't be thinking about sex "all the time") yet she finds the time to play with herself. I have no problem with that, at least I know there is hope for our sex life. Anyway, I was gone for the last 2 days and when I came home I discovered she left one of her toys on my nightstand. It's a rather boring one, a blue finger like thing that may fit on a vibrator (but not on the magic wand). I have seen it in her bag with the vibrator so I know she uses it. She was sleeping when I found it last night, but this morning I had the opportunity to let her know I'd found it. Maybe it would open things up a bit in our sex life. But she was in such denial, it was rather comical, and sad. Me: "Hey, I found something of yours" and handed it to her. Her: "What is that?" with her expression of surprise Me: "It looks like a sex toy." Her: "What? I don't even know what it is? Maybe it's yours!" (yeah like I'm gonna use that on myself) Me: "Of course it's not mine. Honey, it's ok if you use things like that. I don't mind." Her: "I don't even like that..." and she tried to say she doesn't like sex but she couldn't finish the sentence. "Where did you find it?" Me: "By my nighstand" Her: "Well, it's not mine! I've never seen that before" and she holds it like she is studying what the hell it could be. Me: "Like I said, if you use toys, it's really ok. I don't mind at all" So ladies. Has your SO ever found a toy? Did you act surprised and were you in total denial? Did you ever come around and finally admit it was yours? Any suggestions on how I can use this to our advantage to re-kindle a sex life? Ours has been non-existent (meaning none) for a very long time. I've told her before that if it doesn't improve I would not stay married to her. It doesn't seem to bother her much. Hoping this opens her up.