[Ask a Girl] MY wife's response is different

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Old Hippie, Dec 29, 2008.

  1. Old Hippie

    Old Hippie New Member

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    Hi, I've got a question for the ladies. Having been married going on 38 years one would expect to be pretty familiar with their wifes response. So ordinarily my wifes sexual response can be described as "building", as in getting stronger until orgasm. Recently she had a hormone test and it was decided that even though she was doing natural progesterone therapy her progesterone was low. Also her morning reading on her cortisol was low. So she now takes more progesterone and takes several herbs to strenghten the adrenals. This is the only thing I know of that has changed.
    She ordinarily would come after about 20 minutes of oral or digital stimulation. Now it's all different. She builds up, gets to the place where orgasm seems very evident, then it subsides some. Then again and again and again it builds up but no orgasm. Finally after about an hour and 40 minutes of digital then oral, then after my jaw feels like it will fall off, tried finger stimulation again she came.
    So as a man, I'm trying to figure out if this is heaven or hell. I mean she had a good time the last three times we got it on as this is when this started happening. But I was pretty tired out and some confused because we know each other real well after all these years.
    Do I just up my level of vitamins and try to keep up? Maybe I'll take a break from her and get some for myself in the middle of it all. I've developed the habit over the years of coming second because quite frankly after I come I don't have the interest level to pursue or the energy level to perform as I do before I come. But let's face it, I'm going on 59. My erection get's a little tired after waiting for it's turn for that long.
    Don't get me wrong I'm writing in broad strokes so it's not like we have a routine that we strictly stick to. I was coming in for a while at different times to. But I do like coming second as then everybody ends up satisfied. I hope this is not too graphic!
    O.H.
     
  2. cbrmale

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    Not a woman I'm afraid, but I have lost count of the number of women I've had sex with. I did a rough exercise of so many years times about so many women per year equals around a hundred or more, give or take. My experience of oral sex with about eighty percent of those women was they came anything from three to less than ten minutes, most commonly around five. A couple of women came quicker than that, I have to slow my wife down for example, and a two or three women stick in my mind as taking about the 20 minutes or so that you mentioned, and while I enjoyed the experience but it made me sore and tired. These 20 minute oral sex sessions were casual sexual encounters, so it's likely that I hadn't worked out these ladies as well as if I was a regular lover.

    Like you I like my partner to come first.

    In my experience, the 20 minutes only happened to me in one-off sexual encounters. I expect, and I hate writing this, that you've been doing something wrong, and now some medical issues have caused it to go worse. Others may have different experiences, or different advice, but my experience of oral sex is the female orgasm is quite easy to find.
     
  3. Dreama

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    If she's having irregularities in her sexuality, she might want to ask her doctor about it, and maybe they could shed some light on it-but other than that, it sounds like you're a caring, giving husband. And no, that wasn't too graphic for us on SF-welcome to the forum, and may you and your wife find useful information.
     
  4. saraseasprite

    saraseasprite New Member

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    Maybe get help from a vib once in a while to give you a break. I love using a vib on myself while I get done from the back (or with a dildo)...it is like instant orgasm for me. I know that sometimes it can take a woman a while through oral or manual, and while that is nice sometimes, it usually goes faster if we have the help of toys.
     
  5. igor

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    Did the Dr prescribe the increase in her meds? Is she taking herbs on her own? hard to tell what meds are doing. My wife can no longer orgasm due to anti-depressants and some heart meds.
     
  6. Old Hippie

    Old Hippie New Member

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    Hi, First of all thank you all for your responses. This is the first time I have discussed sex with folks in cyberspace. True honesty appeals greatly to me. After I wrote that it was an hour an 40 minutes I thought back and realized that it was more like an hour and 20 minutes as the cd that we put on is about an hour and we went on for about 20 minutes more. It just felt longer.
    Cbrmale, I was saying to be more specific, I usually stimulate my wife for 20 minutes before she comes. That's some because when I feel like she's getting near coming I slow down to a "teasing level" of stimulation. It's kind of like trying to make it last longer for longer enjoyment for both of us. If we are strapped for time or if we haven't gotten it on for 10 days or so ( rarely, but it happens ), she would come in about 5-10 minutes. And all the while we were doing it the other day she was having a good time.
    Saraseasprite, we do use toys. Actually when we use the vibe it is different. She acts like it is almost too much but instead of coming sooner she will act like it is driving her wild and sometimes build up to shaking. But she actully has a hard time coming with it if we use it too long. It seems to work better if we warm her up with it and then switch to oral or digital.And we also use it in spurts and then put it away for weeks or months on end because I love her body and want to have interaction between us be the primary mode. But it does give me the idea to try it in the beginning while she is responding like this. Maybe it will light her fire a little hotter faster.
    Dreama,thanks for the encouragement. When I first got on the board I browsed a little and read some of your posts. I like your avatar and I like what you said about that people might say to someone that they are too honest if their delivery lacks tact. I've been down that road more times then I'd like to admit and I certainly wasn't 21 years old by the time I learned my lesson about it!
    Igor, my wife and I are about 95% alternative when it comes to meds or treatment. We sometimes go to a doctor to get the diagnoses then try to find alternative treatment. I've been studying nutrition and alternative meducine for 37 years. In this case she went to an M.D. who used herbs and vitamins and natural progesterone and glandulars. We decided together to nix the glandulars and used some of what he suggested and some other herbs that rebuild the adrenals. Such as Maca and ashwaghanda.
    Old Hippie