My wife has me a little confused

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Amature, Apr 24, 2015.

  1. Amature

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    When my wife and I were first getting to know each other she was well aware that there was a lot of things that I just could not physically do sexually anymore. And she was fine with that, and seemed happy with what I can do (oral and fingering.) she always acted like she enjoyed me eating her and I've asked her several times and she's always said there was nothing I could do different or better. And I usually give her oral after several orgasms fingering her, both G-spot and clitorally. She told me she loved doggy style as a man could have his choice of which hole he wanted to stick it in. Which I was fine with, although I can do neither. There's been a couple of times while fingering her that I would try and rub her anus and she always told me to quit it. A while back I was using a dildo on her and when I had her good and turned on, I pulled it out and stuck it in her ass. After a bit she wanted me to take it out, go wash it off, and finish in her vagina. So, I did. She complained for a week afterwards. She has made comments before that she thought she had to much anal years ago and has he roads now. So, since I didnt really care anyway, i won't try that again. But now, recently she tells me she doesn't really love oral as much as I do (I absolutely love it!) she says it feels good, and she gets off with me doing it, she just doesn't love it like me. I've tried giving her oral first, before fingering her, and she doesn't orgasm as hard. So, as she is multi-orgasmic, I usually let her cum several times (estimating now, it's kind of hard to tell she has so many so quickly) between 10 and 20. Many times I have to stop and hold my hands completely still until she quits quivering, vagina convulsing/contracting and squirting. Now that I have explained a few things, why do you think she lied about anal or changed her mind? And what about the cunnilingus attitude change? Do you think she lied about that to, or am I just not worth a fuck at it either and she just doesn't want to tell me?
     
  2. HotForHoney

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    People change. Maybe she's just not into it or after years of the same tricks, she wants something else.

    Mix it up a bit.
     
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  3. Amature

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    Maybe so. I've asked what she wants, if anything different and she says she's happy with the way things are. And doesn't really like me researching different ideas and techniques. She is always saying she doesn't see why I cant be satisfied with what I've got or can do. She doesn't seem to understand it's not about keeping me satisfied because I am. It's about keeping her satisfied.
     
  4. AGFUNK

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    Maybe she is getting bored and doesn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you.
     
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  5. Alwayslearningsex

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    Like AGFUNK says. Also less oral, no anal unless you combine it with fingers or dildo.
    If you never tried like I enjoy doing, TRULY explore her in great details in her vagina, different ways or rubbing, speeds, pressures,
    in and out, side to side, etc. Keep her guessing, and discover other pleasure zones inside.
    One trick my friend LOVES, I place my thumb inside, rub her "bottom" part, hook it to go over that part (hard to describes) that drops off, stimulate away. Also another is to use my thumb again ( stronger and lasts longer than the fingers for the tasks) and go around instead of circles or in and our. I just use my imagination and always try to find a different way.
     
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  6. Amature

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    Her becoming bored with me is what I'm afraid of happening too Agfunk. I really hate the thought of loosing her, but if I can't give her what she needs I suppose I'll just have to accept it. Alwayslearning, I do try and mix it up. I've watched most every one of the online tutorials (Davis Shade and a half dozen others) and read countless online articls that I found by Googling. I've tried similar, if not the same methods you suggested. It's not that she doesn't cum, it's just she seems different with her sexual desires. Hard to describe exactly.
     
  7. Alwayslearningsex

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    I wish you luck and a breakthrough. Don't push too hard but push for something, and if communication will help too.
    I didn't read all the previous posts
     
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  8. 12barblues

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    I always believe that the hardest part about getting someone to be totally open and honest with you, is to somehow convince them that their honesty won't hurt you. It's very hard. People that love each other would rather put their needs aside , rather than say what they want and risk hurting their partner. Unfortunately, those unmet "needs" never go away. And it seems many times people stray in order to find those " needs".. And they ultimately hurt the one they love a million times worse by straying.... My point is, find a way to communicate about this. Openly, painfully, honestly , you'll hurt a little in the beginning but sometimes that little bit of hurt can lead to a whole bunch of healing. Best of luck to you
     
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  9. 10_3XL

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    This is a pretty serious issue... I'd love to be able to contribute something worthwhile, but am afraid I can't. So, I'll inject a bit of tasteless humor:

    The next time she seems to be getting bored while you're going down on her, bite her "down there" to draw her attention back and "keep things interesting."

    Then again, who knows, she might even enjoy that! :p
     
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  10. Doitagain

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    Really you have to try your best to talk about it without pushing too hard and it's best to try and mix it up. It can be easy to fall into a routine and forget how to enjoy certain things. Also people change and it's possible things you used to enjoy just don't do it so yes , mix it up...adapt
     
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  11. Amature

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    Thank you all four advice and thoughts. After being gone for two days she seemed eager to get back in bed with me this morning. So, while I'm waiting for her to shower, I am writing this. She has that " I need you" twinkle in her eyes, so I will try and talk to her before going with the same old same old and see how it goes.
     
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  12. Candela

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    Do it somewhere different, Make a date ! Be a little romantic! Iinstead of the same old hum drum places you have sex..Take her to a secluded park in the dark,or maybe go "meet" her at a bar and pick her up...Lots of ways to spice up the sex life,Just have to have some imagination..JMO xo
     
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  13. Barent

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    I have found, with woman, that the first and most important thing is kissing. Once that's done correctly, with feeling, everything else falls into place. It if isn't (done well), sex just isn't as good. But, if you're a good kisser, they're happy even if the sex isn't spectacular every time. At least that's what some women have told me, and I have no reason to disbelieve them.
     
    #13 Barent, Apr 26, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2015
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  14. Alwayslearningsex

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    Oh I like sharing the things I try, done it several times with good results.
    When she is stimulated and can get lots of direct clitoris action, expose it, press your lips around but not on it, and suck.
    Try also doing it like giving a blowjob, moving your lips all the way up. MY friend loves it and bring her good orgasms, it sets her up good
     
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  15. billytk1977

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    I know when me and wife get in the "spot" we will try something new. Sometimes you need the new. We have had various toys, and done it in some really fun places. But wirh her it is mostly mental. She has to be in the mood.
     
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  16. Alwayslearningsex

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    The brain, a sexual organ too :)
     
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  17. sandwich

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    Maybe it's just a matter of her being distracted by other things. I say this because it sounds like in your last post she bounced back so to speak. People get distracted, busy, stressed, etc. It could have been anything. I hope it stays better!
     
  18. Amature

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    Thanks again for all your thoughts and suggestions. We have done a lot of talking the last few days, and had some incredible love making sessions. She adamantly insists she is satisfied with me, so it appears I was worried needlessly. Regardless, I plan on implementing some new ideas soon. Thanks all!
     
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  19. whybother

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    Love is a growing changing evolving organism. It is nourished by trust and communication. Trust means that each person knows that the other person in the relationship has given up the former individual "self" and redefined the "self" in the plural. The two people become one and their hopes dreams and desires only live together. If you create an environment of trust, you can discuss anything in the confidence that the solution will be mutual. The desire for oral sex by one person is not enough to make it happen. You must both desire it. True love means that you no longer desire for your individual self.
     
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