My thoughts on love and sex

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by dude2154, May 25, 2012.

  1. dude2154

    dude2154 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2010
    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    usa
    Why do we make the two the same thing .
    IMO they are very different things even in a long term relationship there is sex and there is making love .
    Girls do you think if your man has sex with someone else he will fall in love and leave you ?
    Guys do you think if your gal has sex with another dude she is going to fall madly in love with him and ditch you ?
    If I have learned nothing from SF it's that you girls are more looking for a guy you can count on and have a connection with than a 13 inch cock and a six pack.
     
  2. gyfo

    gyfo New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2011
    Messages:
    160
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    South Africa
    I think that there is a definite connection with love and sex. I know of people that can have absolutely no strings attached sex and walk away from it no different. I personally don't go and sleep with anyone I don't have chemistry with or a connection on some emotional level. Maybe this all sounds a bit cliche. But I have done the NSA thing. And while the girl said it was just sex it clearly wasn't. And I felt like a piece of Sh** afterwards. So for me there needs to be a bit more than a " hey babe let's hook up". I guess I don't like hurting people. So its easier not to risk it.
     
  3. CosmicEye

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2011
    Messages:
    1,775
    Likes Received:
    49
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    VA
    Definantly different, but can be the same when you really feel it.
     
  4. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    Love and sex can be a long way apart, and I have a loving and sexually loving relationship with my wife, and I also have sexual relationships with (at the moment) two different women. What makes love even more complicated is that you can love two women at the same time, and that love is additive. Your love for one is not reduced by your love for the other. I know this because I fell in love with a woman I was having sex with from time to time. But I knew who my priority was, so my second love was nice while she was in my life but nothing more than that.

    To be honest the only time I can think of a sexual relationship usurping a marriage is if the marriage is lacking love or sex, and is ready to be usurped.
     
  5. dude2154

    dude2154 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2010
    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    usa
    Does you wife know about your other partners?
    If so does she have other partners or do you play together?
     
  6. wise

    wise New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2012
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Texas
    I think that love and sex can definelty be independent of each other; they can be dependent on each other.

    I have had long term great sexual relations with people who I could I could never love - too much emotional baggage, different values, etc.

    I have also run into people I loved but ended the relationship because of poor sex. Too many hang ups in the bedroom.

    I think in the long run of life the best you can get is a person who you love and have a great sexual relationship with-- one definelty complements the other. You feel more loving during the day when you know you are going to have great sex with that person in the evening. And average sex feels much better when that person has shown there love of and to too time and time again.

    WIse
     
  7. Slipikins

    Slipikins New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2012
    Messages:
    257
    Likes Received:
    34
    Gender:
    Female
    I think sex and love can be independent of each other. I think you can have great sex with someone that you don't love. From personal experience though and maybe it's just my nature, when I have great sexual chemistry with someone, I typically fall in love with them.

    I think we are all capable of having sex without falling in love but I think for some people (and maybe women more), when you have ongoing sex with a single person, you can start to develop emotional ties to that person...at least for me anyway. I'm also not one that wants tons of partners. I'd rather have one partner and amazing sex.
     
  8. CurvedUp

    CurvedUp Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2012
    Messages:
    522
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    For me you can have sex without love. But love is intimate and sensual and then sex becomes making love. Now I think you can have sex with love if you choose to just do it and it still is intimate.
     
  9. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    The English term 'making love' comes from the French phrase for sex which is 'faire l'amour' (literally make the love). I researched this for a novel I was writing and, supposedly, making love became part of the English language lexicon in the 1950s. But then I read an extract of a work written in Britain in the 1870s, and the term was used there. In any case the French don't 'have sex' (which would be faire le sexe), but faire l'amour covers a lot of things including rape (where they may use the term 'violate', but the actual sex is still 'faire l'amour').

    What I do is faire l'affaire (see how much French is in the English language). In any case I don't ever use the term making love because it is just a phrase transported from a language which is relatively short on verbs.