My situation (It's kinda complex)

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by ftwguy29, Jun 21, 2011.

  1. ftwguy29

    ftwguy29 New Member

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    Alright, here's my story. It's best to keep an open mind while reading this!

    (Just got done typing, hold crap that's long. Sorry!)

    Let's start about 10 years ago when my wife and I started hanging out. It was supposed to be as friends...she was engaged to someone several states away. The first night we hung out (pizza and a NY Jets game) the night ended with her straddled on top of me, still clothed, saying "Shit, I need to call my fiancee!" The next couple nights after that, the clothes found their way to the floor, and it wasn't long before she broke up with her fiancee and we were having wild sex.

    Now, here's where the story gets a little less normal. A good friend of mine was having girl issues, so he and I decided to hang out one evening. My wife had yet to meet him, so we headed over there to chill. Well, she was over 21, and had alcohol...one thing lead to another and when the night was over, the three of us were naked, spent, and happy.

    So anyway, we dated for a couple years, I helped her with her kid and her apartment stuff, and wouldn't ya know it, we both got so drunk on my 21st birthday we forgot protection. BAM! She's pregnant! I'm still trying to get through college at this point, and we dun goofed. I did the stupid ass freak out thing, we had a rough spot, but we got over it. While she was pregnant (but not yet showing) my same friend would hang out and we'd do all sorts of naughty stuff. My wife and friend even had sex during this time (he could exactly knock her up lol) and I was okay with that because it wasn't behind my back, and I trust them both.

    Move forward a few more years. Two kids, jobs, life...it's all very draining. My wife and I started noticing we were drifting apart a bit, nagging at each other and generally straining the relationship. We didn't want it to end, so we worked on things and got back to good. During that time we talked a lot, and it was then that she told me that all the sexual things she'd done with my friend was for my benefit alone. She resented me for sharing her then. Ouch.

    Fast forward again, to about a year ago. A few key things happen during this time. First, my wife gets back in contact with an old high school girlfriend. Turns out this girl is bisexual and has the hots for my wife. Even more interesting, my wife admits to being a non-practicing bisexual herself, and finds her friend attractive! So the flirt...flash each other...that's really it before the friend falls off the face of the Earth. :mad A bit later, one evening with my guy friend over (same one from years back) my wife gets pretty drunk, and also pretty naked and horny. The next morning we talked about what happened (not much, just some touching) and she admits she didn't have a problem with it, she actually ENJOYED it. Well, that of course leads down the path I'm on now:

    Present day! My wife has admitted to being bisexual, but non-practicing. She enjoys playing with two cocks at the same time, and has had sex with both me and my friend recently. She occasionally also goes on a webcam site like Chatroulette and flashes guys, and she's admitted to masturbating a lot when she was home alone (she's a homemaker).

    Of course, all this is driving me NUTS. My hormones are crazy, I get hard ons like I'm back in high school (I'm talking frequency, not quality, thank god) and I can't stop thinking of even wilder and kinkier things to do. Problem is, my wife seems to have hit her boundaries. She doesn't want to be a swinger, she doesn't want to be with a woman, and she doesn't want to share me. Fucking my friend more she's kind of iffy on, but that stems from him having issues keeping it up...he's either nervous doing her around me or just not interested.

    My wife sees my frustration. She feels bad about it, and has said she feels guilty having sex with my friend while she doesn't let me go find a woman to do. Last week she and I were discussing all this, and she tells me that if I want to go find some woman to fuck, don't tell her. Find a good cover, and don't blow it by coming home smelling like perfume or pussy.

    Now right here we have my wife, the one that doesn't want to share me (and has in the past been pretty jealous of me being around my female friends) telling me to cheat on her if I want. I don't know what to do. Part of me screams "ITS A TRAP" and the other is like "Well, maybe not?" Of course the teenager in me is all up for it, and wondering if there's any woman out there that would want me in my domesticated state...even for sharing pictures and flirting.

    So, um...advice? :D
     
  2. nurseharley

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    sweet home...
    Don't do it. It'll open a whole new can of worms if you ask me. Don't think with your cock and don't just focus on short term pleasures. Think about the long run.

    I didn't read it all (I'm eating lunch!) but I also don't think it's fair for her to play around and you can't. If a couple isn't willing to be fair and compromise both ways, they have no business doing things like this IMO
     
    #2 nurseharley, Jun 21, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2011
  3. Barbwire

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    I say, go with your instincts. If it feels like a trap, it probably is.
     
  4. ftwguy29

    ftwguy29 New Member

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    See that's the problem, I'm not sure if it is or not. She seems genuine about it...but I've known her to be tricky in the past. It's part of the reason I love her, she's fun to figure out. Could she really be feeling guilty about (as she put it) being selfish and is trying to give me a way out, or is she playing mind games and seeing how devoted I really am?

    She's the only one that knows for sure.
     
  5. Barbwire

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    So...why the heck are you asking us then? Ask her, silly.
     
    #5 Barbwire, Jun 21, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2011
  6. ftwguy29

    ftwguy29 New Member

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    I have asked her! And she started giving me advice on how to find a girl. Any idea how amazingly awkward that conversation was? It was hilarious too, but mostly awkward.
     
  7. nurseharley

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    It can only get more awkward
     
  8. Barbwire

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    OK, then, make her sign a release stating she won't divorce you or hold it against you in any way if you score some pussy on the side. Sounds silly but, it's a way of saving your ass.
     
  9. ftwguy29

    ftwguy29 New Member

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    That DOES sound silly, but it might serve a greater purpose as well...it probably wouldn't be worth diddly in court (or bed for that matter) ut it might get her to rethink what she said.
     
  10. ftwguy29

    ftwguy29 New Member

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    Well, I asked her to sign a waiver, the look on her face was PRICELESS. She then laughed, said hell no cause she can't guarantee she wouldn't go into a jealous rage. Plus, as she pointed out, any cheating I may or may not do is supposed to be a secret.

    I'm starting to lean towards she's fuckin with me. But it's damned tempting to try to find a woman i can at last talk to over email and flirt with. Grr.
     
  11. HardRocker

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    She probably doesn't even know if it's a trap or not. The only way I think you can have another woman and avoid irreversible wrath is to do it in front of her. The wrath may erupt, but the former double standard might temper it. I say don't sneak. It's never ever the right choice, questionable permission or not.
     
  12. luff

    luff New Member

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    I agree with this. She tells you to do it and offers you advice on how to do it but doesn't know if she'll fly into a jealous rage? It sounds like she is conflicted. I say don't do it.

    Maybe this was covered but I missed it...but any chance of a FMF if she's bi?
     
  13. ftwguy29

    ftwguy29 New Member

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    No chance. We talked about that, and she's certain she'd be too jealous to to anything. Plus, she claims she doesn't want a woman...but watches lesbian porn and has flashed her friend (even got groped a bit). part of me called bullshit on that honestly.
     
  14. nurseharley

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    sweet home...
    Watching lesbian porn and flashing is one thing, eating pussy is another.

    Honestly? This all sounds kind of childish to me. You two are adults, you should be able to speak openly about your sexuality and what you do or don't want. Playing games is a great way to fuck up your marriage and this sounds like a big one.

    She should have never brought the idea up if she wasn't comfortable with you taking her up on the offer. Now the seed has been planted and youre already being tempted at the thought of other women. Talk with her about this again and tell her it's time to really be open and honest.
     
  15. Chronichaze

    Chronichaze New Member

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    Can't say I have much for advice in this scenario as it's rather unique... but verry interesting..

    All I can say is I love bisexual girls. They're usually much more open minded to sex in general, not even exclusive to the genders.
     
  16. ftwguy29

    ftwguy29 New Member

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    It's hard to respond to a reply like this without coming off as an asshole, so allow me to do my best to not do that.

    What part of this seems childish to you? And where do you get off saying it's childish in the first place. I'm looking for advice, maybe some guidance or outside views, not to be berated. If anything, this is two maried people stuck in an awkward spot of sexuality. There's nothing childish about that, it's a part of life. People change, even after marriage, and this is one of those possible changes. For the record, as I've said before, she and I talk a LOT. I always talk openly and honestly, and I can only assume she does the same because I love and trust her. Sure, she plays games. What woman doesn't? Also, yeah, there's a difference between porn and flashing vs eating pussy. Guess what, before we met she was with a woman for a while. She's played both sides, admitted to liking being with her girlfriend, but has decided to stick with dicks since she's married me. But there's nothing stopping her from playing for both teams except herself.

    /end rant

    Sorry if that came off harsh, I'm just tired of seeing people on forums all over the internet wanting advice and being told how *whatever* there situation is. My situation is fucked up. I get it. Moving on.
     
  17. nurseharley

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    sweet home...
    Excuse me but you made a post on a sex forum seeking advice, and with advice comes opinions. Reading into the situation as you chose to portray it, it IS childish. You're wondering whether or not your wife is fucking with your head....to me that's a game that immature people play.

    You say you two are open and honest but once again you have questioned if she's setting you up in a trap. If you felt as though she was as honest as you are now making it seem, why are you questioning that?

    Sorry if my two cents on your situation didn't fit into what you wanted to hear but that's what you get sometimes.
     
  18. Kermit

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    Real advice doesn't sugar coat, it calls out lies and gives pure truth in a situation that might sting a bit cause truth hurts