...I've never been able to come with a man! I'm looking for some advice. This problem has plagued my sex life, and is causing my partner much grief. My body is healthy and is perfectly capable of achieving climax. I pleasure myself in the absence of my boyfriend on a regular basis, and have no problem finishing the deed. I do things like wear lingerie under my clothes when I go out to feel sexy, and view adult photos and videos when the mood strikes. But when it comes to real sex, I am left completely puzzled and confused. Now, my boyfriend has no trouble turning me on. Our foreplay is quite enjoyable and gets me all hot and wet with anticipation. He is a generous giver, and I love to make him groan with delight by going down on him. My "pleasure level" will become so high that it's unbearable--my body aches, my clit is totally stimulated, and my pussy is swollen, and then, right when I can feel that it's time, my libido dips and I lose the moment! At that point I am still into the act, but I am no longer anywhere near orgasm. This is when I pretty much give up on myself and help my partner come. Hopefully I have illustrated the bizarreness of this issue as I see it! Here's some background, and then ways I have come to rationalize it. I am in a serious relationship with my boyfriend. It hasn't always been easy, as we've had a few big arguments, and our sex life together hasn't always been perfect (disregarding my issue for the term "perfect" here), but in general we have been very sexually passionate with each other. Neither of us were virgins when we got together, and our relationship didn't take long to become sexual, but we have always been very emotionally attached, and enjoy spending a lot of time together, hanging out with friends or sharing common hobbies. I have been in one other serious relationship involving sex, and other not-so-serious relationships with no more than kissing and clothed body contact. I have been a sexual person since a pretty young age, but did not do sexual acts with someone else until I was ready. Of course, I can't honestly paint a perfect picture of my own sexuality. Here are things which may be contributing to the issue: I am pretty shy and passive most of the time when it comes to sex. It takes me months to open up to a sexual partner, and even after 10 months together, I haven't told my boyfriend about my darkest and kinkiest fetishes. Predominantly, this is due to my personality. But also, I have reasonable suspicion that my boyfriend is or used to be into hardcore or unconventional sex practices, and may be too nervous or scared to reveal this to me. I would love for him to share, and have hinted at this before, but he closes up and gets a little defensive when I bring it up. Since I respect this completely, I am saving the sharing of more hardcore stuff for later down the road. Another reason: I love being a giver, and I am always thinking about my partner's pleasure. But oftentimes I catch myself not even thinking about my own pleasure, and am not even letting myself get into the moment. It's as if I have a hard time giving and getting at the same time. I hardly ever ask for what I want, but he does ask me whenever it's time to change positions. Finally, I have plenty of fetishes, but the ones that turn me on the most when I am alone, are unsuccessful at "doing the job" when carried out. We will do them anyway, because it still turns me on, but yet again I have the same anticlimactic problem. Of course, I will fantasize about the act the next day, and will quickly reach orgasm with my boyfriend and our wild night in my thoughts. I'm not here for professional or clinical advice, but I am too shy to go to a sex therapist or anything of the sort. I have not ruled out doing so, but I would prefer to go once I am married and with my husband, not alone or with a boyfriend. For now, I just need to see what others have to say about this. I hope this post wasn't so long that nobody reads it! I could really use some input!