I've been married a year now. During the summer, my husband was away working and now I've been traveling a lot for work. Not the best way to spend our first year of marriage, but it's what we have to do right now. I'm a very insecure and jealous person. My husband hasn't really given me any reasons not to trust him. But, because of my trust issues from past relationships I do sometimes snoop through his phone (say what you will about that, but it's what I do). While he was sleeping yesterday I looked through the photos on his phone. I really didn't expect to find anything. Then I saw a picture of his penis. I tried to remember if he had sent me one and that was the reasoning (no) then looked at the date it was taken. It was when we were together. I was asleep in bed and he got up in the middle of the night to take a picture for someone. I automatically assumed another woman (why wouldn't I? He's straight...) Then I started looking through texts for when it was sent. Looked at snapchat to see if he had been chatting with anyone. Who were his recent/top friends that he had been sending photos to? Everyone was normal people that should be there - no chats. Finally stumbled through his email. I found one message from a man asking if he was still looking, then my husband replied 'absolutely' and wanted photos and more about him. When I approached my husband he was extremely embarrassed and didn't want to own up to everything right away. He told me he had been emailing one guy back and forth a bit, but nothing ever actually happened. He had changed the subject of the email to group project, so I didn't even look at that before. Finally did read through it. I was beyond repulsed. The man was sending him pictures of himself and my husband back. Talking about how hard it made him to see this other mans penis. He said he wanted this other guy to perform oral sex on him, but he wouldn't reciprocate. He was ready to meet up as soon as we returned from our weekend vacation. Just vile to hear my husband saying these things to and about another man. He carried on and on that he never met up with the guy, I didn't find any phone numbers exchanged or any proof of an actual meet up. He said he got nervous then realized it was fucked up. He was crying and apologizing. I just don't know how to handle this. I'm beyond repulsed. I feel dirty, disgusting, and used. I don't know how we move on from here. How am I supposed to be hours away for the next 6 weeks and think he won't continue this? Especially since he was sending photos while I was in bed in the same house as him. What's stopping it when I am hours away for so long? Anyone have experience/advice with this and moving on? It's definitely cheating to me. Which I always thought would be enough reason for leaving. But I'm pregnant with our first child. I love my husband. I made a vow and will stick it out, but I can't be repulsed like this forever. Help, please?