My husband and I have different opinions on this

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by redics_girl, Jun 1, 2013.

  1. redics_girl

    redics_girl Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2012
    Messages:
    672
    Likes Received:
    55
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Michigan
    Should one partner do, try, wear something that makes them uncomfortable for the enjoyment of the other partner? example- redic loves when I wear lingerie. I, however, am not comfortable in it, I do not feel attractive or sexy in it, and it makes it very difficult to enjoy what we're doing until I can take it off. We argue about his often, so i would like some more input. thanks
     
  2. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    I imagine how it sucks to wear that shit at the summer. however, if you like a discomfort
     
  3. Hot Wheels

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2006
    Messages:
    3,415
    Likes Received:
    37
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sydney,Australia
    Depends on the lingerie I guess.....most girls Ive known are comfortable wearing a bra and pants....although when Mrs HW gets home the bra is the first thing she gets rid of.... :lol
    I did however, have a friend who loved his wife wearing stockings and suspenders.....almost every single day!......she only wore them to keep him happy......near drove her crazy...:ugh
    When they divorced several years go......she threw all of them out and hasn't worn stockings to this day.....:lol
     
  4. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,964
    Likes Received:
    5,077
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    Loving sex is all about giving and sharing.
    Sometimes we do or give to the other partner what he or she desires yet may not be something we ourselves would wish.
    Such giving must be voluntary and not be forced upon us though and should not always be in the one direction.
    In the case of wearing of lingerie as mentioned above by RDG it could be that Redic enjoys mental role play and somehow the props seem to make it real. That has certainly been the case we me with SO dressing up as a sexy prostitute but also acting it out. The outcome was mutual arousal in a novel way ,very hot :)
     
    Rell01 likes this.
  5. coastghost

    coastghost New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2013
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    tell him what makes you feel sexy, and maybe y'all can mix it up
     
  6. policescanner1

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2012
    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    278
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    I feel sex should be all about comfort. You have to be comfortable with each other first off. My now separated wife Love me to put on a cock ring which once we were fucking became wet and slightly slid up and down causing my cock to be a little sore from the ring rubbing in one spot. But because of my Love for her I did not mine pleasing her and fulfilling her ever wish, fantasy and desire. But I feel also that is were communication comes in with any relationship telling each other our like and dislikes. Once I told my separated wife what my cock was a little sore from the cock ring we were using she started looking online and found one that was made of a soft silicone and ordered it. That showed she was concerned about my feeling but my willingness to fullfill her want's and desires. I know there has to be some lingerie out there that would be comfortable for you to wear it's just finding the right one.
     
  7. igor

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2006
    Messages:
    4,110
    Likes Received:
    163
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago area
    I would want my partner to wear whatever she is in the mood to wear.
     
  8. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,517
    Likes Received:
    4,448
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    Sex is about being comfortable. It's selfish of him to expect you to always be in something that is physically uncomfortable, but if it's just something that you don't find yourself attractive in, it's also selfish of you to not want to wear it for those reasons.

    This causes arguments because you clearly see yourself in a different light then your husband. You don't find yourself nearly as attractive as he does and this is a problem. You should try to see yourself through his eyes or at least accept that he finds you attractive in those items.

    I personally don't enjoy skin tight clothing or revealing tops or short little silk nighties. It makes me feel fat and like my guy can see every imperfection on me, because I surely can. Somehow, he still finds me sexy and absolutely LOVES when I wear things like that. He can't get enough of it and enjoys the slow process of stripping me from them.

    I don't understand why he likes it, but he does. I obviously am not seeing through his eyes. It would be selfish of me to deny him something so simply if it's not doing me any harm. This would be different if he wanted me to wear 8" heels that I could barely walk in and cause me great PHYSICAL discomfort. I wouldn't do that and it would be selfish of him to expect me to.

    Just take a step back and realize that you are beautiful. Realize that someone else finds you attractive and likes wrapping you up in a sexy little package to make things even that much more enjoyable. When you realize that you aren't as unattractive as you make yourself out to be in your head, then things will be better.
     
  9. redics_girl

    redics_girl Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2012
    Messages:
    672
    Likes Received:
    55
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Michigan

    :) Knew i missed you. There are types of Lingerie I feel comfortable in, honestly, I like Body stockings and babydolls. he likes teddys. And the ones with the large holes in the backs and sides, not the full coverage ones like a bathing suit. I do try to get things he likes, but i don't wear it as often as he'd like. self-consciousness sucks.
     
  10. wsc

    wsc
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2012
    Messages:
    254
    Likes Received:
    913
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    uk
    I love my Mrs in stockings but she feels self conscious in them ... She hasn't worn them in over 13 yrs but she buys underwear she finds sexy and is very dirty!
    Im glad i never moaned or nagged her about it...i think that we have a great sex life as she is far ruder at 39 than she was at 22 yrs old when we first got together...and she was pretty filthy minded then!
     
    Notunique likes this.
  11. minskminx

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2013
    Messages:
    442
    Likes Received:
    718
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    UK
    I like to wear stockings in everyday life.

    I once bought a rubber dress and it took 20 minutes of pulling to get it off and by then the mood was lost!

    I also have heels it is dangerous to walk in. Not such a good idea but they can be worn on your back with legs in the air - that way I don't fall over!
     
    Notunique likes this.
  12. sabian

    sabian New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2012
    Messages:
    685
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    U.S.
    Well.. Im the type of guy that would much rather my partner feel comfy as well as sexy, all the time. There are so many things I think look amazing! but if she don't feel good or right in it than hang it up. lol.. For instance, she does not like to wear thong or g string panties, which I understand completely.. hahaha. Im not a fan of the 24/7 wedgie either. lol. But however I do think they look super sexy on any girl. So I guess its all about give and take.... and communication. But bottom line all you ladies look absolutely stunning in anything you wear... or don't wear for that matter. :) Redic show it off.. your sexy!!!!
     
  13. almostthere

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2011
    Messages:
    727
    Likes Received:
    242
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    southeast
    I use to ask for lingerie all the time. Finally figured out it comes off in minutes so why go through all the trouble
     
  14. Itouchtomuch

    Itouchtomuch New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2013
    Messages:
    164
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Something that turns me on more than lingerie is when my wife gets out of the shower, wrapped in just a towel. She'll lay down on the bed so I can dry her off, and ruin her shower lol.
     
  15. Essene

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2011
    Messages:
    1,384
    Likes Received:
    75
    Gender:
    Male
    I say be comfortable. That or test how far he's willing to adhere to his argument via a petty and, faux, fetish.
     
  16. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    My wife has no problem with lingerie, she knows she's rockin a killer bod and likes to show it off.
     
    Notunique likes this.
  17. AtkCCC

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2012
    Messages:
    682
    Likes Received:
    301
    Gender:
    Male
    I figure if it doesn't physically hurt then I'm willing to do or wear something every once in a while to please my partner. I do things that I'm not crazy about but its worth it to please the one I'm with.
     
  18. sanaxx

    sanaxx New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2013
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    United States
    once in a while, i think it's fine to do something you might not be totally comfortable with just to please a partner, but not every time all the time, ya know?

    but he should be doing something for you too, every now and then.
     
  19. boobjob

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2011
    Messages:
    2,095
    Likes Received:
    1,109
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    east Coast
    I'm going to say that sex is about mutual trust. If you are talking about discomfort because the thong up your ass bothers you then don't wear it. If you are talking about discomfort from being self conscious about how it looks then you should trust that your partner wants it because he finds you attractive. If you are uncomfortable because you feel objectified then maybe you have trust issues with your partner that you need to talk about. Hopefully he wants the lingerie because you turn him on not because he likes the way the victorias secret model looks in it.

    Whatever the issue is. I belive that talking about it will help. If you express your hesitation maybe it will help you and he to discover the real reasons you both like or dislike things.
     
  20. FacelessGirl

    FacelessGirl New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2013
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Canada
    If you really don't want to wear lingerie, then don't. Your husband should understand that.