My how things can change

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Anotherday, Dec 19, 2012.

  1. Anotherday

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    I've only posted here once or twice. My last post was full of frustration and answer seeking with regards to the sex life the wife and I had. Just a real rut. Nothing terrible or completely cold, but definitely a rut for the both of us after 12 yrs of otherwise a pretty decent marriage/relationship.

    Hate to sound typical but earlier this summer the wife discovered 50 Shades just as millions and millions of other women did. Suddenly this opened up a discussion and we began discovering things about each other that struck a fire.

    We immediately became much more active and adventurous sexually, then things really started to change as we talked more and more about some of the relationship aspects associated with context of that book and the newer/more graphic "mommy porn" books the wife delved into. With a new commitment to each other things continued to move forward.

    I took over cooking completely and put forth as effort as could to ease her responsibilities outside of work. We both lost weight to levels neither of us had seen since freshman year of college. New clothes, more traveling, etc. etc. A real lifestyle change.

    And then there was the sex. The closer we came to each other, the more we discussed it, the more we "researched" it, and the more open minded we grew together the better and more frequent it has been.

    From the old married standard of once or twice a week, to 5-10 times a week.
    From the standard bedroom, to the back yard, to the car, to the kitchen, to the hall, to anywhere.

    From me wondering what my wife wanted to me taking complete control within our discussed limits. Those limits are ever changing as continue to discuss and open up to new ideas.

    From single orgasms to multiple multiples and sometimes none at all on purpose.

    From under the covers to strapped to a spreader bar.

    From mostly boring nights out to going out in public with the wife "wearing" hidden remote vibrators that are our secret and pleasure.

    I could go on and on, it's been quite a journey over the last 8 months or so and things are going so well with us it's amazing. It's not just in the sex department but within the whole relationship. It all seems to feed off of itself as we both continue to put forth effort in our daily lives and in our private lives.

    It seems to be coming much more naturally now for us too. The wife has found a retreat from her daily grind of a job where she makes important decisions all day long, now she can come home and completely submit in the bedroom and have those darker desires fulfilled without judgement with trust and with love. And I can have that dominance over a woman who outside of the bedroom is otherwise very alpha. Now, about once or so a week, I'll ask to for her to take over me for a night and we've both been able to "switch" very nicely.

    Currently working on putting in a few "hidden in plain view" implements for bondage play in my office that's attached to house for our own little play room, working through learning how to properly use rope for binding, and how give take the new heavy flogger to our liking.

    For us though it's no 24/7 deal outside of the constant texts to each other, we pretty much give or take control during playtime only, and we still have a night or two a week pretty much vanilla. We are what they call "Fluffy" practitioners. And definitely rookies.

    Can't be happier with what we share and being able to just talk about it anonymously helps as I just don't go around sharing information with the friends, they have no idea how far we've traveled in this short time.

    Anywho, thanks for listening out there
     
    #1 Anotherday, Dec 19, 2012
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2012
  2. rileyjane

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    That is really good news! I have heard similar stories from others And how those books have totally changed their sex lives around!
     
  3. vKane

    vKane New Member

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    Great success story! Remarkable what can develop between partners when you find a way to communicate on such a deep level. Thanks for sharing!
     
  4. lbushwalker

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    'Stralia Mate!
    Good interesting sex -> good relationship!
     
  5. sandwich

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    You had me at "spreader bar".
     
  6. marriedman42

    marriedman42 New Member

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    Well if it has worked for you I wonder if it could work for me. Wife only reads crime-scene books though - anyone know best way of talking her into reading a romantic novel?
     
  7. Anotherday

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    Just keep in mind it's not like reading a book is some kind of magic, for some reason it just gave an opening to a discussion and things just seemed to snowball from there. A lot of factors involved, but honestly that was the beginning.
     
  8. marriedman42

    marriedman42 New Member

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    I almost bought her a copy last night... give anything a go .... but delivery wasnt available until 3rd January so I cancelled the order.

    Really please you and your partner got it sorted - I'm a romantic guy and love happy-ever-after endings