My Girlfriend Wants a Threesome

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by bwendin, Jun 27, 2006.

  1. bwendin

    bwendin New Member

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    Hi, I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, 11 months, and 23 days. She's the only woman I have ever been with and we have always been faithful to eachother. She went to China with her parents in early June and she is staying for one month. Ever since she left though, we would have phone sex for like 2 hours almost every day. She's gotten increasingly horny and kinky and even made videos of herself doing naughty things like fingering her shaved pussy and ass. I have never seen this side of her before ever in our entire relationship, but it gets me really,really hot. One night on the phone she brought up the subject of a threesome. She told me she wants to have one but it has to be FFM because she only wants me in her. She even suggested we go to Thailand or something to find a prostitute to have a threesome with since she doesn't want to have one with someone we know. I was so surprised at what she was saying to me. I wouldn't mind a threesome as it is almost every guys fantasy, but I can live without it. My greatest fear is that us having a threesome will have a bad effect on our relationship. Do you think she is just saying she wants a threesome because she is really horny or do you think she is serious?

    Thanks for reading. :)
  2. pirouette

    pirouette Gold Member

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    The only one who can answer that question is your girlfriend. And good for you, getting terrific videos and naughty phone calls! I do believe the Bunny Ranch is closer- looking for legal prostitution. Or even Amsterdam. :)

  3. Clark

    Clark Member

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    Identify one of the following:

    1) you are into it and your long-term relationship will be just fine if you two have open sex. (notice, I said "you two". If you start this threesome, it will probably open other doors in the future).

    2) You aren't really serious enough with her for a long-term relationship. (If this is the case, and you're really just having a great sexual relationship, then, yeah - sure. have the 3-way).

    3) you are serious about a long-term relationship and don't want to have an open sex life. If this is the case, not only should you not have a threesome, you should also be concerned that she may not be on the same page with you, relationship-wise.

    Another word of caution: If you agree to the threesome, and if you don't ever want to have a MMF threesome, or orgies, etc. you should communicate that to her now.

    Also, I think that the fact that she's open to the idea of going to a prostitute is a warning sign: has she ever been with a prostitute? What makes her think that a prostitute is a good idea?

    ALWAYS be safe. Watch out for diseases, thieves, etc.

    The prostitute thing just sounds like a bad idea.
  4. pirouette

    pirouette Gold Member

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    (Clark, that's why I suggested the only 2 "reputable" brothels. The employees are frequently required to be tested for diseases and infections. It's also strictly regulated and legal there. And very expensive! :eyes)
  5. fran8judy

    fran8judy New Member

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    I for one fantasize about a treesome with another woman. I do not ask for it though due to the fact if she wanted a 3-some with another man, it would never happen. I myself could not stand the thought of her being pounded by another guy. I know for a fact it would tear our relationship apart and am not willing to let that happen.
  6. bwendin

    bwendin New Member

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    We are option #1, lol. She and I lost our virginity with eachother. We started going out when I was 16 and she was 15. She never wants to have MMF and only suggested some place like Thailand because we are asian and want to stay in that category. Also, we wouldn't be going just for a threesome, but for a little vacation as well. The thing is I kept asking her if she was serious about a threesome and she kept saying she was, but for some reason I'm still a bit iffy. Maybe because I'm new to this side of her I've never seen before?
  7. bluenavigator

    bluenavigator New Member

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    Since you are both asian, are you saying that you are limiting yourself to asian people only? I am sure that there are legal bothels that have asian working girls in Neveda and Nethersland. Myself, I do like asian girls since they are different than common people in here (US). Unfortanetly, I didn't have a chance because lot of girls are scared of me. (Was it me or my personality?)
  8. blue

    blue New Member

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    That is quite thoughtful of you, bwendin. It'd be nice to make sure she is prepared for the possible consequences. Things like safety issues, your relationship, the fantasy vs. reality and so on. Just like what Clark brought up. I'm not quite experienced in it, but one thing for sure is to stay open, honest and true to the feelings and each other. Keep talking to each other about it whether doing it or not, before and after it happened.

    I think maybe I understand why she thought about prostitute thing. As a chinese myself, I think it's rare to meet someone who is and open to this option. It feels like prostitute thing would be more of "business transaction" instead of worrying there would be messy emotions afterward. Just my guess, really. Anyways, I think what important now is to keep on talking and discussing it and thinking it through. Have a happy vacation!! It would be nice to have your gf here to share stuffs. I've learnt quite a lot from people here to spice up my sex life. :dgrin
  9. rene48

    rene48 New Member

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    I AGREE WITH THIS ONE. JUST TOO DANGEROUS, DISEASES, THIEFS AND SO ON. I too, have fantasized about MMF, but I love my pal so much, I just don't know yet. I've not been with a woman, nor do I want to do her but could stand her doing me (orally of course). I'm afraid of the subject and my pal would not like the idea at all with another man in me. (i am married as well, so I have to sneak with my pal). Anyway, there are swinger clubs where I live but generally it's a couple thing but now and then, I am told, a stray gets in. Call around to these clubs. There are magazines at newsstands with swinger ads in the back. I don't know, go cautiously. She's probably read something over there that suggests this and it hooked up with her. And then on the phone, she wanted to do it with you. If you love her, and deep IN LOVE, I'd not do it. Best of luck.
  10. Logger

    Logger Gold Member

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    Dear Bwendin,

    I had the opportunity engage in a threesome another woman who was staying overnight at our house, brought it up, and I stressed the idea of marital fidelity.

    I want my woman to be every other woman in the world to me. I enjoy all types of porn, mostly with my wife . Sometimes my wife can enjoy porn, sometimes she just seems uninterested.

    What is your view of marriage?

    What is your view of boundaries in a marriage?

    An excellent way to impose limits on your spouse, is to set the same, or stricter, limits for yourself. If you would prefer that your woman not have sex with other guys, you might express that wish by declining to have sex with another woman.

    There are forums that discuss swinging. You can search Swinging Forums. Those forums mostly recommend a strong marriage, before starting swinging. Swinging also depends on secrecy. How good are each of you at keeping secrets? How would discovery of your swinging affect your parents? Her parents and relatives? Your job and relatives?

    A phrase of congeniality: "I am glad you are sharing your visions and ideas with me. If we were together, you probably would feel more fulfilled and satiated. since you are not with, me, you may be having visions that are more varied, than if you were in my arms."
  11. Joe

    Joe Gold Member

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    Personally, I like the prostitution idea. I don't know about brothels in Thailand or anywhere other than Nevada, but I do know that brothels in Nevada must adhere to very safe sex practices. There's not much done without a condom, it's all very clean, and the working girls must have monthly tests for VD. But perhaps the best thing about a brothel is that it would be strickly business. You'd not have much worry about emotions. Strickly sex, and only because you pay for it.

    Now a street walker, or even a call girl, would be a different story, at least here in the states. They aren't governed, so you'd never know how safe they are nor how honest they are.
  12. Miki

    Miki Banned

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    The prostitution idea is good, having it with someone you know has trust and everything, but we have to see that it just might be plain awkward in the end. But a prostitute as Joe said, is strictly for sex. You don't ever have to see that person again or anything.
  13. mandango

    mandango New Member

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    Interesting topic, my wife and I have never had a threesome. However, before we met, she participated two threesomes and a ff encounter. One threesome was a ffm and one was a mmf. She has told me the stories time and time again. She gets completely turned on by telling them to me. One time about a year ago, we looked up and called her girlfriend from the ffm encounter, and she said she would love to join us sometime. But we haven't been ready to step through that door. But knowing the option is open is great too.
  14. SDAVIS

    SDAVIS New Member

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    When I was single, I was once the 3rd member of a MFM threesome. I answered an ad from a married cpl and they called my hotel when I got to town. We met at a bar and then wound up going back to my room. I was late 20's and they were late 40's(they said). It was the hottest sex I have ever had, a little akward at first, but red hot. I think the cpl was doing it because he couldn't really get it up for either age or medical reasons and she wanted more than he could give her. There was nothing intended to be serious about it, just all 3 of us getting the pleasure we wanted. He was not jealous of her with me and I think even enjoyed seeing it and joining in. All I can say is that it was great and I only wish I coudl still take part in that type of pleasure. The key is THERE CAN BE NO JEALOUSY.
  15. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    FFM gets into advanced territory but sounds like fun. She obviously has some attraction to women which seems to be in vogue these days so I say ler her have her fun if she is serious and you get to watch and jump in with her. I like the business transaction side of it using an escort to keep it impersonal. Wish my girl was so daring.

    You don't have to go half way around the world either, there are tons of clean escorts (non-street walkers) in your area who would work with a couple. There are several big web sites that list escort with reviews. TheEroticReview.com and BigDoggie.net are 2 I've heard of.

    Good luck, post back what happens :tup
  16. Grandma

    Grandma New Member

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    As a fantasy a threesome is nice and hot (FFM and MMF), but irl I would not go into it. I think the risk of getting hurt in some way for eighter of us is too big. It doesn't matter who the third part is. Our relationship is much more important than a fantasy.
  17. rene48

    rene48 New Member

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    I'd say, "not do it at all". You are gonna rip your relationship for sure. It's a good thought. And I've entertained the ideas myself, but if you really care about this woman, tease with her on it and let her do the leg work. If it turns out bad, she will then, blame you.
  18. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid Gold Member

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    Two cents: having a threesome does not automatically mean the end of a relationship. There are couples with very long lasting and strong relationships who have experienced one or more threesome situations and survived long after. Is the situation frightening? Sure! It takes a lot of trust and open, honest communication.
  19. Dvusdouglas

    Dvusdouglas New Member

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    Any extra sexual adventures FFM, FMF, MMF, MFM, Orgy, Soft Swap, Full Swap,Anything Goes......all require a great deal of trust. My Honest thoughts are ...Take it slow, and talk about anything you think might happen before hand. My first time at a FFM 3 some, did not go so well....But I was prepared for that. The wife had no problem being with another woman, but was not ready to see me with someone else at that time. We talked about it alot, and she didn't trust the other female......So I would say....find someone you can trust, and do NOT use someone off the street.....That is just too risky.....There are many sites for people in alternate lifestyles out there....Join one of those, do a couple of trial memberships and see what looks good.....There are alot of Bi-sexual, bi-curious women there that I bet would fit your need.

    Dvus
  20. uskorzeny

    uskorzeny New Member

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    man, give it to her... if the woman wants it... then she wants it.