My girlfriend doesn't enjoy anything apart from sex

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Magicdan, Jul 10, 2013.

  1. Magicdan

    Magicdan New Member

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    Hi,

    I have been with my girlfriend for 1.5 yrs and we have been sexually active for just over a year. We started having passionate sex and it was great but since then I have wanted to be more adventurous so we have tried new things like: long foreplay sessions, roleplays, sex in public, bdsm, strip teases, sexting and doing stuff over Skype when we r apart. And she goes along with all these things but I no she isn't enjoying any of them, (I can tell plus she's told me) The only part she enjoys is sex itself.

    Any help would muchly appreciated on how we can move on and improve because I don't want to lose her as I love her very much.

    Thanks
     
  2. almostthere

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    Makes no sence to me.
     
  3. Magicdan

    Magicdan New Member

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    What makes no sense?
     
  4. boobjob

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    are the two of you affectionate? hold hands? kisses hello and goodbye? do you whisper sweet nothings to each other. She may need more of that.
     
  5. Magicdan

    Magicdan New Member

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    Yeah we do all of that, no matter wat I try I can't get her to enjoy anything
     
  6. funjen

    funjen New Member

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    If she is not into it and you have tried to encourage it you might need to accept she isn't as adventurous as you are. If this is a deal-breaker you need to think about your relationship which presumably is based on more than just sex anyway if it has a long term future.
     
  7. CaramelLady

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    Once again I defer to the poster above me. Her advice is excellent!
     
  8. redics_girl

    redics_girl Active Member

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    you cant force someone into things they aren't comfortable with. if she's not comfortable with it now, chances are, she won't grow comfortable with it later on. you need to decide if that's a deal breaker for you. some people just aren't into adventurous things. also, she may be MORE into trying things with you, if you aren't trying new things all the time. don't spring a ton of stuff on her all at once, or make her feel like you expect it every time. "long foreplay sessions, roleplays, sex in public, bdsm, strip teases, sexting and doing stuff over Skype when we r apart"
    BDSM, public sex and strip teases are not for the faint of heart, those should have come later. The foreplay and sexting and stuff- that is not a big deal, and those are baby steps. stick to those for awhile. and communicate with her. find out what she would like to try, or if there's anything that you HAVE tried that makes her uncomfortable and why it makes her uncomfortable. see if there are things you've tried that she really enjoyed and stick with those until she's more comfortable. you need to talk about things like this, because sex is important to an intimate relationship, and you both have to be happy. Sex shouldn't be complicated.
     
  9. sandwich

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    This is a hard one. That was my experience with my ex fiance, but he would not even try. My conclusion was just to remain committed because I loved him. What I am saying is that while his lack of adventurousness was disappointing, it was not a deal breaker. We broke up for other reasons.

    If she is the one you can't live without, then you can probably put it in the non-deal breaker category and move on in a vanilla existence. I will have to read your post again to see what you tried, but I remember you mentioning role playing, and that can be very intimidating. There might be something a little kinky that she might enjoy.
     
  10. almostthere

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    In your post you say the only part she enjoys is the sex itself
     
  11. acemike

    acemike Member

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    Sounds like you have been married for 15-20 years.....
     
  12. Trond

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    Maybe I'm jaded, but I'm inclined to call this a "luxury problem". :D
     
  13. kipro150

    kipro150 Member

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    Same boat

    Kinda..cept I'm starting to feel she only likes the vibrator...
     
  14. minskminx

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    I think everyone should try to be as happy as possible as much of the time as possible.

    If you look at it that way sex is only a small part of a relationship.

    I am very open to sexual experiment but the one thing I like the most is to hold the hand or put my head on the shoulder or even just be in the same room as someone I really really love.

    People's appetites for more than they already have often leads them into trouble because they do not appreciate what they already have.

    Also remember a relationship is made up of two people. You have to take care of your girl and if she is not comfortable doing the things you mention then you are taking advantage of her love for you in a way that is a little selfish.

    Good luck!
     
  15. suzy7

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    ohhh sorry, I was going to comment but this thread is just
    too funny. But here I am, I think the girl here will move on,
    Can't see any communication here so it's likely never will be.
    If I was the chick here, it would be Dear John, I am Gone.
    I have never had a 1 1/2 year relationship in my life but
    just get a feeling something is not shared by these two people.
    Sorry for your Prob. but maybe a new life is the answer, good luck,
    .
     
  16. audirs4

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    I don't know the answer but can tell you that if you don't solve the problem and find a comprimise that makes both of you happy...it will not get better as time passes. You will find yourself more frustrated and the long term issues can be significant.
     
  17. CaramelLady

    Guest

    No way. Before cell phones had text capabilities and before things like SKYPE my husband and I enjoyed phone sex, public groping, etc, Before the internet there was also postal snail mail. It was nice getting dirty notes in the mail.

    Had the technology been around when he was traveling. Well...it would have been used.