my girl friend loves to give pain in sex

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by orhan, Aug 13, 2008.

  1. orhan

    orhan New Member

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    my girl friend handcuffs me to the bed and she whips me so hard she tells that provokes her so much and she orgasms very extremly but i am really in pain she whips so hard and i dont like this style i explained that style makes me in pain but she didnt give it up i love her very much for this reason i accept everything she said...what can i do to give it up her style
     
  2. Dreama

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    Tell her you're not into it, and don't do it anymore. If you don't like it, you shouldn't be asked to endure pain by the person who is supposed to love you. If she hurts you, stop sex right then, and tell her that isn't alright. Or maybe she could just pretend whip you or something, to where it doesn't hurt?
     
  3. Hot Wheels

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    Just curious, but what would the reaction be if you asked to swap places?
    Like she cuffed to the bed and you doing the whipping??
     
  4. orhan

    orhan New Member

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    thanks dreama for your advises and i think if this style goes i will leave my girl friend because my sex life is getting worse
     
  5. orhan

    orhan New Member

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    i dont like this style so i dont want to do on her.but if i try i think she will like it
     
  6. Mr. G

    Mr. G Member

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    You should talk to her and explain how you feel. Tell her that you don't enjoy this sort of things and that the pain that the pain overrides the pleasure.

    You should be very clear to make her understand that this is something you don't want and that she's really hurting you. If she persists on continuing this, I must say that she's being really selfish. From what I've heard she might be just using you, but that I don't know. If that's the case, then you should really dump her..

    But if she really cares for you, she should be able to give up on some pleasure in trade to stop hurting you and to take your needs into consideration. In this case you could try things like Dreama suggested, so that it would be better for you. But if I get it right, that isn't exactly what you want either? So you should probably leave that sort of things completely for a while. And if this is such a big fetish for her you probably could do it every once in a while, just to please her. And even on these occasions it should be so that you can enjoy it.

    Sex ain't good if someone is getting hurt. Of course there are people who just get excited of some pain, and even enjoy it and that's just fine, but you obviously aren't one of them, so you shouldn't need to bare such things.
     
  7. sexyJ

    sexyJ New Member

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    When doing this type of thing there should always be a "safe" word..When you say this word all action stops! What she is doing isn't right or fair to you.. Its one thing if you like it but if it hurts and you don't like it you shouldn't be made to feel like you Have to do it! I say tell her if she doesn't understand cut her off from sex until she gets it. I'm sorry you are going threw this and I hope things get better!
     
  8. Stealthpot

    Stealthpot New Member

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    I too am curious how this would work out.
     
  9. Katprr

    Katprr New Member

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    First off, you need to be honest with her and let her know that you are in pain. If you are not comfortable with it she should know, if she loves you then she should be understanding. Also have you all discussed a safe word? A word that you say when you are no longer comfortable, or it is becoming to painful? If you havent I think this should be put into place.
    If she is unwilling to stop if you are not comfortable, or are experiancing any pain that you dont like then it would be time to move on. I am into pain with my pleasure, I can tell you after numerous years of experiance that if at anytime I would feel uncomfortable, which let me tell you I have not reached my limit on that yet, I know that if I were to ever say my safe word, he would stop immediatley.
    If she is unwilling, which I dont understand why she would be, if she truely loves you, then the choose is up to you whether you allow this to continue or not, whether your relationship will continue or not.
    As far as how do you make someone give up this practice, you dont, you cant make anyone do anything. Although you can choose to leave if this continues.
    So first off, talk with her outside the bedroom, be honest and let her know your feelings, along with letting her know that she is truely causing you pain. Come up with a word that is not sexual , that you are able to say so she is aware that it is becoming to much. This type of adult play can be dangerous and people can become hurt if there isnt complete trust involved. IF she is unwilling to follow the guidlines and respect your wishes then honestly it would be time to find another sexual partner, since that would show that she doesnt respect your wishes, that she honestly has no care for the about of pain you are feeling. Someone that loves you shouldnt want to see you in pain.
    Just my opinion.
     
  10. sexyJ

    sexyJ New Member

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    How are things going? Getting any better I hope!
     
  11. sunnysara

    sunnysara New Member

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    Yikes!

    THere is good pain and bad pain. Sounds like bad pain to me. She may need to look at some pro-dommes in action to see how they actually administer floggings. It isn't about flaying you alive.

    SHe may have issues, or just be ill informed, the fantasy or giving a beating and the reality of what the human body are 2 totally different things.

    I'd ask her to back up and start over with some nice hand spankings or maybe a hairbrush and work up to something more dramatic (with some instruction).
     
  12. martin9p2

    martin9p2 Member

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    Sexual incompatibility is a perfectly good reason to leave this one and look for a new GF or BF.
     
  13. Rocket Queen

    Rocket Queen New Member

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    This is abuse. You have told her that she is hurting you and yet she continues to hurt you. If you are telling her to stop whilst you are having sex and she continues to hurt you and have sex with you then this is rape IMHO. No means NO, it doesn't matter if the man or the woman says NO! she must stop.

    This original post is a few weeks old so I hope the OP is ok.
     
  14. igor

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    The first time that happened to me would be the last time. Why do you go back for more abuse?
     
  15. Jackie Daniels

    Jackie Daniels New Member

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    Many people do not understand that whip play is not like it looks in the movies.
    They can hurt and cause a great deal of damage.

    May people also don't understand that it takes a lot of practice to use a whip correctly
    especially in erotic play, the last thing you want is to wind up hurting someone.

    I always experiment on myself first, I prefer them to ask for more rather than telling me to back off.

    If she can not respect you and your limits, then I would put my foot down and
    refuse to engage in this type of erotic play any longer.
     
    #15 Jackie Daniels, Sep 5, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2008
  16. Ryan102

    Ryan102 New Member

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    just tell her the truth... if your not being pleased at the same time most likely she wouldnt want to do it