My GF is not confident with her body and has fear for sex

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by john1327, Sep 4, 2014.

  1. john1327

    john1327 New Member

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    Hi My Gf and I have been a stable relationship for more than 2 years. I am her first Bf and she is my first Gf. We both engage in regular intimate activities. However, my gf has this low confidence of her own body. She has a 34C cup boobs but she doesnt like them and prefers them to be smaller. I love them and always motivate to tell her how much I love them when we are on the bed.

    Next, my Gf sweats alot and has smelly armpits but when she uses deodorant the smell is controlled. However, whether she uses the deodorant or not I love her armpit smell when we are on the bed or on normal days. She has become so obsessed with the use of deodorant that she makes sure she uses it before she comes over to my place. I have spoken to her many many times telling her she should not be affected by the smell but it doesnt help.

    And lastly we have many a time had such intense foreplay whereby it could lead to sex but I know my gf is fearful of it and she is not prepared for it, therefore I never took the opportunity to have sex with her eventhough she will be asking for it. I am stuck with the dilemma as to whether I should do it as I dont want her to later blame me for the fear and pain she might experience thereafter. Please advise me on what I can do regarding the above points I have mentioned
     
  2. AGFUNK

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    Don't worry about her not liking her smell or her boobs. She has to work on that herself. As for sex have you two talked about it outside of sexual activity? Are you both virgins? Yes, it will likely hurt a little the first time for her. You should read about what to do beforehand. Lots of foreplay is good, condoms/birth control, lube if you need it and go really slow. Above all though make sure you are both completely ready for it.
     
  3. john1327

    john1327 New Member

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    But I want to help her with boosting her confidence for her boobs and smell. Yes, we are virgins and we have spoken about being agreeable to having sex. But I am concerned for what she feels hence the hesitance.
     
  4. AGFUNK

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    You really can't do anything other than what you're doing now. She has to work on it. Self confidence is something that has to be gotten by yourself. Someone can say all the nicest things in the world to you and it still won't change how you feel.
     
  5. Doitagain

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    My woman is far from a virgin and still is not comfortable with her body. It affects many aspects of our lives and sex especially. She is a sexy woman . It keeps her very self conscious and stops her from opening up. I try very hard to convince her but it's been years. All I can say is don't go overboard on it and be careful. One wrong come could have her feeling even more self concious. But in the end she has to work on it herself. Mind plays terrible tricks on you. Give it time you are young.
     
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  6. Alwayslearningsex

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    I only have a few ideas but it may be a bit bad.
    Go for her boobs often, sucking, hands, titfuck (?) to show you like them and want them.
    For the sex go for it when things look like the light is green.
    If you hold back it may look like you are only talk but once she knows you enjoy sex with her she will come around even if it takes a while. (If I guess right)
    For the pain, it will be you or whoever having sex with her, it can't be avoided, so might as well be her one man who does it for her

    Do some naked foreplay, masturbation, oral, progressive but still enjoyable, rub your cock against her while she is wet, give her a taste and want for it, but hold back a little for going inside. Once in a while just place the head against the entrance with a gentle push, and back to rubbing.
    This is torture for me so maybe the same for you.
     
  7. backcheck64

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    My wife had issues when she was fat. After putting on the weight after the kids, she was very self conscience and dressed very conservatively. After she realized she was turning into her mother, she dropped the weight and got in top physical condition. My input meant little. It's something she'll have to work out. Now that my wife is pretty well cut, she does wear long sleeves most of the time so she doesn't intimidate some clients and co workers.... but she was rockin the bikini on vacation.
     
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  8. Nikkitta

    Nikkitta Member

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    There's probably not a lot you can do. Most girls have something they don't like about themselves.
     
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  9. john1327

    john1327 New Member

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    That's very true! My gf usually likes to realise things herself but it feel it is my responsibility to motivate her and I will not stop doing so. Thanks for your reply.
     
  10. john1327

    john1327 New Member

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    I have done everything possible with her boobs like squeezing, sucking and even releasing between them but she has her own views about them. She feels if they are smaller, only then she will look prettier. I don't think it is about what I do with them that matters to her. Like the other comments, I agree she has this natural thing whereby everyone is not happy with something of their body.
    As for sex, we always start our intimate time by getting fully naked after foreplay. There have been many times when I have placed my dick at the entrance and she will be asking for more but I am afraid what happens next once I am fully in. I dont want her to feel that I never respected her eventhough she was blinded by the temptation. It is a very fine line. I guess I will need to talk to her and get her consensus telling her it was her who asks for it. Thanks for your reply.
     
  11. Alwayslearningsex

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    If your intentions being with her are good, then I would say to go for it but slow and patient, carefully.
    She will feel respected and cared for.
    I don't think your last comment would be a good approach.

    Others, your thoughts on this too?
     
  12. lbushwalker

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    She is expecting you to so just do it before she starts thinking you are the one reluctant so stop over thinking.
    Man takes woman, that is the way it is, end of story!
     
  13. cbrmale

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    I think many women are uncomfortable with how they look, despite many women being attractive to us men. As far as the first time I recognise the tension as something I remember with my now wife. It wasn't that she didn't want sex but she had heard the first time can hurt, and that made her tense. As lbushwalker posted someone has to do it and if she wants you to then you should. It may hurt her a bit but do it because it has to be done. In other words when you enter her and if she winces or shows signs of discomfort, then keep going slowly because eventually it will be fine for her. Or at least that's what I did and afterwards I thought my wife wouldn't have had much pleasure out of her first time. Some years later she told me she enjoyed it a lot.

    At the time I was a long way from being a virgin myself, and I think that helped.