My GF and I want to have a threesome

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by NiNfan, Jun 3, 2009.

  1. NiNfan

    NiNfan New Member

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    My GF and I want to have a threesome (1 guy 2 girls). Neither of us have done this before and she's never been with a girl before either. We've been trying craigslist, but we haven't found anyone that will actually meet in person yet (CL is full of spam and scammers). Are there any other sites that we could look at? I know there are pay sites, but are they worth it? I wouldn't mind paying if I knew that one was good.

    I was also wondering if anyone has any tips for us. Like I said, neither of us have done this before. What are some things to do and to steer clear from?

    Thanks in advance!
     
  2. confused08

    confused08 New Member

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    This can be a touchy situation if not dealt with properly. Everyone here has been a huge help when I was going through the same type of situation. Ultimately we ended up not doing it. You need to lay down a set of rules before hand. Find out what she is comfortable with and what you are comfortable with.
    Im not to sure about the website thing sorry.
     
  3. bluedragon

    bluedragon New Member

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    Wow never though I would be the one posting on this one. Ok lets deal with the website first! Joydean and I both will tell you to go to Adult Friend Finder here let see if this works. http://adultfriendfinder.com now you can start out here for free but you can’t get any where so you have to at leased go sliver and that less than 20.00 a month. But its up to you but as for is it worth it? Yes is one of the better site on the web I have been there for over 10 years and you will find Joy and I by looking for We_two_are_ one is the name on our profile.

    Now as to rules for doing this? Yes you have to have rules and stick to them and by all means do not us your home for this the first few times that’s a no! No! And take it slow let the girls get use to each other first before you add your self to the mix. Because if you find out your girl does not like another girl touching her then this is not going to work every good.


    Number two you two need to talk about your part of this, is she going to be ok with just you licking and sucking on the other woman or will she be ok with the other woman screwing you. But of course the other woman has to be ok with this two its not just about you two any more when mixing the other woman in.

    Write to Joydean and ask her about this she did the couple swap before we met and it went real bad for her. So she can give you some do’s and don’t even on this cause we got a friend we are thinking of doing this with.
    Bill
     
  4. Mr Sensitive

    Mr Sensitive New Member

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    I've usually found that it's better to round up your third wheel yourself. Just have a sexy party and throw it out there...someone will bite :)
     
  5. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    To begin with you will need to understand that you are looking for what is termed a 'unicorn'. Single women are termed this due to being rare and difficult to find. Social networking sites are not designed for this type of activity and you will waste allot of time using them. In reality you have two options: posting on the internet or trying a swingers club. There are many sites out there that are designed for this type of activity. Swinglifestyle is probably the largest free site out there. Also you can try dating web sites, swinger sites, and 'poly' relationship sites to name a few. The key is to find a site who meets your needs and is used by the type of person you are trying to find.

    Second option are swingers clubs and NASCA provides a list of swingers clubs in each state. The one thing you will need to understand is that some clubs will offer free or greatly reduced admission to single women. Swingers clubs do this not because they are being generous but because very few will attend. So for you it will mean attending regularly and having to compete with other couples for the limited single women that show.

    My advice is do not give up on your search. Accept it may be a long search and will require you to invest some time. If you search on a regular basis you will find someone that meets your needs and I wish you the best on your journey.
     
  6. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    OK, I'll give you my frank opinion. I don't have a threesome experience with two women to draw on for this, but I can tell you what does NOT work. The single women who are on the swinger sites are probably not the most attractive women you'll ever find...cute single women have no problem finding sex, so if they are on swinger or hookup sites, there must be a reason for this. Dig?

    Forget the sites and go do this in person as a couple. Go to bars, clubs, parties, whatever, and find a girl that you both think is attractive. Study after study has shown that there are plenty of bi-curious women out and about. Just go out and approach single women who are of similar attractiveness as you two. Your GF really needs to take the lead in this, she needs to approach, engage, and befriend the girl in question, and kind of drag you along for the ride. If you're approaching a cute girl, you can rest assured that she's been approached by plenty of men looking for sex. However, she's probably never been approached by a couple with the girl leading the fray...this will have some surprise elements to it for the girl in question. The idea will either totally turn her on, or completely turn her off. Respond accordingly. Invite her back to your place to "have a little fun together", and let her know that "whatever happens happens". Your GF should kiss her in the bar or wherever you are, and ask her if she thinks you are cute. Give her plenty of hints as to what you have in mind, but don't come right out and ask her if she'll come home and have a threesome with you two...leave a little mystery and anticipation for her as far as what might transpire. Invite her to leave with you, hang out, continue partying, and let it take whatever course it takes. Have fun with the process, and she'll get that vibe from you and have fun too. When you get her home with you two and she's feeling comfortable, your girlfriend should start making out with her...it'll either spiral into sex with the three of you, or it'll fizzle out.

    Definitely definitely set all your rules between your GF and you ahead of time. Make a checklist of sex acts and go through what you are both comfortable with each other doing with another girl, and stick to that. Work out some simple signals to communicate non-verbally with your GF...if your GF is feeling uncomfortable about something you're doing, she needs a way to let you know so you can stop, and vice versa. Work out some kind of secret signals or phrases that mean "Go for it" or "Stop". As a couple you should both view her as just a sex toy with a heartbeat...this is to protect your relationship between you and your GF. Keep that perspective between yourselves though...most women would likely find that a very derogatory perspective. Make sure however that you are both entertaining the girl...she has no motivation to do this with you two unless she's getting twice the "entertainment" she'd normally get. Feel free to point that out..."We both like you, come have some drinks with us and we'll both entertain you". She's doing you both a favor of sorts, so make sure you treat her with respect and that she thoroughly enjoys herself! Keep ANY drama strictly between you and your GF...show a unified face to the girl in question so she won't get any ideas if she likes you a lot (plus this will make your GF feel very comfortable where you are concerned).

    Also, consider that your GF *might* want to invite a boy-toy into your sex life at some point in time...you might want to discuss that now rather than later, up to you. If she has no interest or might have interest, it might be better to know that now, or not. If she's let you have free reign with another girl, she might expect you to let her have free reign with another guy as well, however those dynamics are VERY different (inviting a girl versus inviting a guy into your bedroom). The difference is probably that you'd have no interest in the guy yourself, whereas she has interest in the girl, so it's not the same thing with a different sex. You may or may not want to talk about this ahead of time...it's up to you. If the idea of inviting another guy into the action has never occurred to her, then it might be best to just leave that idea alone. You both presumably get to have fun with the other girl, so it's a different dynamic than considering another guy. (I'm assuming of course that your GF is bi or bi-curious and you are straight...that's the most common situation.)

    HTH,
    BD
     
  7. Barbwire

    Gold Member

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    So, why are you babbling on and on about it? It seems to me you are just speculating and what the OP needs is advice from someone that has actually done the deed.
     
  8. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Intelligent people learn as much from their failures as they do from their successes. Part of figuring out what works is figuring out what doesn't work.

    I'll continue to post my honest opinions as I see fit. If you don't like that CL, then don't read it. You apparently have some issue with me at the moment...I'd suggest we take it to PM's.

    BD
     
  9. blue_eyes_phil

    blue_eyes_phil New Member

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    Well I do have some experience, and in my experience people on website are always either liars or blowouts / flakes.

    As I think someone else mentioned, your best bet is another couple. Why stick to Girl Guy Guy, get another girl in on the action!

    I've had quite a few successful threesomes/foursomes with other couples, who were friends before and are still friends after. Obv I'm not saying fuck your friends, but you get the idea?