My G/F hates anal.

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by unclerico, Nov 18, 2006.

  1. unclerico

    unclerico New Member

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    My dick isn't really a good size but my g/f says it hurts so much to have anal. This is not her first time either, I think she has done it about 5 times in the past (twice with me) and no matter how hard I try. (relaxing her, luburication) She says it hurts her a lot. My dick is only 5 and 1/4 and I don't think it's even considered "big" to hurt her?

    confused,
     
  2. jess09

    jess09 Banned

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    Do you use lubricant ? It really is something necessary when we talk about anal sex. Plenty since the anus is not like the vagina and does not lubricate itself obviously.

    Also, in anal sex you have to go in slowly, if you're too rough that might cause her the pain she experiences.

    If you go slowly and use plenty of lube and have tried to change positions and it still hurt, maybe try another thing instead.... there is not just anal sex.

    By the way, is your girlfriend even interested in anal sex ? Because if she does not really want it, it obviously won't really feel good for her.
     
  3. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Find a "lesser" version of the same thing! Maybe she would go for a finger by itself. That satisfies your urge for the "forbidden" while not stress or strething her out too much!
     
  4. cbrmale

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    There are quite a few anal threads in the recent past, read them for some hints. It takes more than preparation and lube, it is an entire scenario that includes dirty talk and more than a few orgasms for her and a bit of fun and some vaginal intercourse for even more excitement for her. Throw serious sex out of the window, the whole situation has to be fun!

    I've done anal many times, and every time the foreplay was more exciting than the act itself! In quite a few cases the girls were experienced, but they still needed a lot of warming up. But I love warming a girl up for such an itimate and naughty act, so it was really good fun and I loved anal every time I did it.

    The other thing is that no matter how much you warm a girl up, it can still hurt, I remember one girls face when she lowered herself on me, she didn't make a noise but I saw the squint of pain. She was in control, she stopped, and moved onwards when she was ready and all was cool after that. But it hurt her for a moment, then though she'd done it many times before. And because she was experienced, she didn't panic with the pain, she went with it when she was ready.
     
  5. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I'd suggest letting her control the penetration, movement and pace. At least, at first. It seems to help with me, and then my husband can take more control, and I'm ready to take it and fully enjoy it.
     
  6. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    But did the ladies enjoy that EVERY time??
     
  7. cbrmale

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    None of the ladies complained or seemed not to enjoy it. In fact a warm-up session for anal sex was the first time I had ever had been part of female ejaculation.

    But beyond knowing they seemed to enjoy it, I can never know for sure, because in each case I was having casual sex with someone I don't know particularly well beyond the intimate moment we were sharing at the time. Casual sex is different to partner sex, and you always feel your way for the first few encounters, and it takes a while to get to know for certain.
     
  8. luvmywifesass

    luvmywifesass New Member

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    I hate to say it, but anal is 90% mindset. If your girl isn't into it, I'm afraid she'll probably never enjoy it.
     
  9. cbrmale

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    Excellent message, which is why I don't push my SO, as much as I love anal, because I know even if she gave into me, her mind wouldn't be into it unless something remarkeable happened.

    It is a shame because I know what to do, and I'm sure it could work if she was into it, but she isn't and that's that.
     
  10. Bluesy

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    All sexual stimulation is mostly in the head (if I wash my pussy in the shower, there is generally nothing sexy or pleasurable about it), but it's a fact that anal is not going to be pleasurable for everyone, regardless of how turned on they are or how badly they want it. Some guys have trouble accepting it, but that is just the way things are.

    It's something that some people can work up to using a small butt plug or short, slender dildo (smaller than a penis) for anal play, to gradually dilate the anus. And some people just aren't anatomically structured for enjoyable anal sex. If she's tried and it and decided that it just isn't for her, can you accept that? Can you respect that? Would you want her to press you for something you weren't interested in or decided you simply didn't enjoy? We all have our boundaries and a good lover understands and respects them.
     
  11. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    For me the idea of having anal sex is about sexy as inserting a tampon, which is to say not very sexy or pleasurable at all. However, this is because my only experiences with anal were with quite negative, and I just can't seem to get over the fact that the anus was never meant to be used in that particular way. But these are my opinions and therefore meaningless. If your girlfriend doesn't like anal then there like an earlier poster says, there might not be much you can do to change her mind.

    So how do you feel about being anally penetrated? Are you open to the idea or the possibility of having anal sex? If not, and the idea seems frightening or disgusting to you then consider the possibility that your girlfriend feels the same way.

    Never ever expect your partner to do something that you wouldn't want done to you.
     
  12. JetJock

    JetJock New Member

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    There is only like twice in eight years of marriage that everything was right for my wife to be able to accept me in her ass.
    1. She had a vibrator on her clit.
    2. Alot of foreplay
    3. I was sucking on her nipples while She slowly pulled me in on her own.
    Other than that not even close.
     
  13. lifuzz

    lifuzz New Member

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    First time anal question?

    Hello all. I have been reading the posts and they are pretty informative. However, I just wanted some direct answers to a few questions. First off, I have been wanting to do anal for a while with my SO. She is a little less enthused about the idea, but willing to try for me. She has never done it before and so I know that it is prob going to feel uncomfortable for her. What are some things I should do in preperation for anal sex? Any certain types of positions? I want her want to try it again in the future sometime, because I'm thinking it will hurt less with time. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks!
     
  14. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    I'd suggest using the forum's search function. There are many, many threads that discuss anal and have lots of advice. Good luck. :)
     
  15. Bluesy

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    It should never hurt. Nor should you be content with any discomfort on her part. If it is painful, you should stop immediately.

    More importantly, you don't ask someone to do something if you know they aren't enthused about it. That's selfish and manipulative. I'm beginning to see why your gf is having libido problems.
     
  16. lifuzz

    lifuzz New Member

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    We are both new to the idea, I was told that it would hurt her the first time even if she was into it? I wouldn't force anything on her. Maybe I wasn't clear in my post. She wants to try it she is just afraid it will hurt, I have no experience either, I want to make it comfortable for her.
     
  17. Bluesy

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    My suggestion is for both of you to read up on it--assuming she's interested in doing so--and then she can decide if it sounds appealing. If she thinks it's going to hurt, it most likely will. A person has to be 100% comfortable with the idea, or else they won't be relaxed enough for it to happen. And it might come down to accepting that she may never be comfortable with the idea. C'est la vie.
     
  18. cbrmale

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    I've never had anal sex with a woman who hadn't had anal sex before, so I'm not really an expert on the 'first time'. I can make a few comments though, with the correct frame of mind, the correct preparation, and sensitivity by the man, anal does not hurt at all. Now I am really, really thick, and only once did I see a momentary twinge on the face of a partner, she stopped, I held my breath, and then it was cool. Remember, girth-wise, I am very much bigger than you, and we both kept control of the situation.

    The second comment I can make is twice I have had vaginal intercourse with virgins, and both were convinced it was going to hurt first time, and it hurt them and me like hell! Not pleasant, so unless your girl has the right frame of mind, just don't go there.

    The final comment is I would love to have anal sex with my current SO, but she is not into that space. Obviously I asked, she made it clear she doesn't, and even though I would like to it is her body and her decision. End of story.

    One last comment, if you both research and prepare and use the right postion and she is keen on it after all, anal sex is very good and worth perservering with. Actually it is emotionally intimate more than physically different to me, it is a very interesting dynamic.
     
  19. ittybitty

    ittybitty New Member

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    I have been trying anal sex for ever it seems i really want to do it cuz i am curiose plus i want to make my man happy but it hurts like hell what can i do to make it a little better for me ?????? i thought of maybe a plug or sumpin what do u thank?????? also i worry if it is going to hurt me?????? is there a limit to how much he can put in there?
     
  20. Texas_Red

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    I think if you do any searching here or elsewhere, you'll find that the key is relaxation, lube, and working up to it. Very few women are able to just have a dick stuck in their ass without prep, and generally those women have been having anal sex fairly frequently. Not many can just go straight to anal without the prep work.