My First, Last and Only Facial

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Barbwire, Nov 28, 2007.

  1. Barbwire

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    My First, Last, and Only Facial

    Back in '85 I was a "horse husbandry" major at a state ag & tech college. One of the classes I took was in equine reproduction, and a large part of that involved artificial insemination. We had regular classes, but also labs where we got hands on experience working with the breeding stallions and mares.

    The procedure for collecting semen from a stallion involves washing him, then getting him to mount a "phantom mare". The phantom is a padded contraption on steel legs that more or less resembles the torso of a mare. Once the stallion has mounted the phantom, an artificial vagina or AV was maneuvered into position for him to ejaculate into. Sounds simple, huh?

    For the lab in which we were to practice this procedure, the professor divided us up into teams of three. One person was to lead the stallion, another person was to hold the AV and the last person was to guide the stallion's penis into it.

    My "team" consisted of three women and we argued over whose job it was to do what until the prof got fed up and assigned us each a task. It fell upon me to be the one to hold the AV. I was kind of happy with that because I didn't want to have to touch the stallion's penis if I could help it.

    So, the stallion was brought in and he knew what was coming so he was ready for action, if you know what I mean. He was led up to the phantom and jumped on it straight away. It happened so fast that the girl assigned to guiding his penis in had a hard time getting ahold of it, and when she did, she struggled quite a bit to get it into the AV I was holding.

    Now, I had actually turned my head away so I didn't have to see the icky horse peenie, when the cock handler told me to move the AV closer. I bent over to try to get a better view of what I was doing. The stallion could not hold off any longer and shot his load just as I was putting the AV near the head of his penis. The ejaculate spurted off the side of the mouth of the AV and splattered all over my face. I mean ALL OVER! I was dripping with horse cum and furiously wiping it away, sputtering and gagging all the while.

    The other students in the gallery, my partners, AND the professor were all laughing their butts off as I stood there frantically pawing at my face trying to get the jizz out of my eyes and hair. I stormed out of the lab and went back to my dorm, crying all the way there.

    Now, I don't exactly recall just how much a horse ejaculates, but to me, on that day, it seemed like GALLONS.

    So, that is the story of my first, last, and only facial. Ewww! Huh?
     
  2. heelfetish

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    Eww is right! :eek
     
  3. slamd097

    slamd097 New Member

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    um...I am disgusted and turned on at the same time...weird..
     
  4. Barbwire

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    You sick bastard! :lol
     
  5. Dreama

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    Gross, Cl. At least you have a story to tell crazy people like us, though.
     
  6. cook74

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    An Erotic Lit. thread starter if I have ever read one :lol

    Sorry for the crudeness :dgrin
     
  7. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    There's...

    ...an episode of Dirty Jobs where our hero gets to do that very job, CL.

    :lol

    Great story!
     
  8. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    I love that show. And then he gets to stick his arm up cows' asses to see if and how far along they are in their pregnancies. Mike Rowe is such a good sport.

    They also did the horse milking on Jackass (and one of them actually drank it) and on Dirty Sanchez, but they all came into plastic baggies to they could compare their sperm counts with the horse's sperm count. :rofl
     
  9. charged

    charged New Member

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    OMG..........I bursted out laughing on that one. Those are the kind of stories that become legend!!!
     
  10. Barbwire

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    And hotter than hell, too, if you ask me. I just LOVE his voice. Grrr! :brow

    I'm just glad I could share this story here. Do you realize what torture it is to have something like that under your hat and not be able to share it with 99% of the people you come in contact with?
     
  11. vampire raver

    vampire raver New Member

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    Thats just what I needed, funny as hell.
     
  12. ChargerBabe

    ChargerBabe New Member

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    LMAO, thank you for sharing CL. I have been around horses my entire life so through the entire store I am envisioning what you are saying.....and then I got the vision of the ending! LOL I am glad that in my 14 years of experience with horses I have never had anything like that happen to me!
     
  13. Barbwire

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    Even now, all these years later, whenever I hear a stallion making lovey dovey sounds at a mare, I run for cover. :lol
     
  14. beemer

    beemer New Member

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    :eek Can't say i don't blame you CL i think i'd take steps too {BLOODY BIG ONE'S}:lol