my first and most important post

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Hjack, May 3, 2007.

  1. Hjack

    Hjack New Member

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    ok, here it goes. i am a young guy (not quite 19 yet), and about 3 months ago ended a relationship of 18 months. i now want to take her back...desperately so. she found a boyfreind about a month after we split. she has decided to take me back, she is gonna leave him, but there is a big problem. she had sex with her new boyfreind. she was a virgin with me, but i guess her perspective has changed. now, i am a very sexually confident individual. i find pleasuring a woman to be an artform, and he was in no way as satisfying (or attractive) as me. sounds great right? whats my problem right? size. penis size that is. i am big, not huge, but definitely bigger that average. i am not insecure about this. and i am also not insecure as to the fact that her new guy was bigger than me (at least thicker). what the problem is is that i am petrified that she will feel different. the thought of him changing her sickens me. i guess it was a bit difficult to get in. they used condoms, whereas with me we never did (i hate those things). i am absolutely terrified, that after a week or so, and my wounds have begun to heal, we will go to have sex...and i will feel him. his mark on her, or that i may feel very different to her. He was not a giant or anything, but big enough for them to have a bit of trouble at first. it was like that with me too when she was a virgin. i love this girl, i just no longer appreciated her after a year and a half, and new that a bit without her would probably bring how lucky i was, and how great she is back into perspective. it worked. so my questions are: am i over reacting? if so why? how exactly do vaginas behave in response(ladies please)? they can stretch alot...but will it alter her? they had sex 4 times. should i be worried about a difference in our sex, or will it more or less be exactly the same? please help. i want to know what i may expect before we do it(i would not be surprised if i broke down crying if she felt really different, which would of course be horrible for our healing relationship)...any one with knowledge or experience with this would be greatly appreciated.
     
  2. heelfetish

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    It sounds to me that you will have far more issues with the emotional aspect of sex with her than the physical. A woman's vagina is very elastic. Even if he is bigger than you, he will not permanently stretch her with a few sex sessions.

    But IMO you have some serious emotional baggage to overcome. And sadly I don't think I can help you with that. :(
     
  3. Hjack

    Hjack New Member

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    serious emotional baggage? hmmm what makes you say that? well after reviewing my post i guess it kinda makes sense. although we were together for well over a year and had a very healthy sexual relationship for that period. i know she is not going to be extremely different down there, i am just wondering if i will be able to tell...i'd like to know ahead of time thats all.
     
  4. heelfetish

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    Sorry, I didn't mean to sound condescending. But reading through your post it sounds as is there are many underlying emotional issues you both are going to have to overcome. I've been where you are once; my ex and I tried to get back together a while after she cheated on me and left me. Would it have worked out? I really don't know. But I know I had a lot of emotional baggage at the time too, and it would have been difficult at best to make it work.

    I guess what I was trying to say is that I doubt there will be any physical change in her body. However, how you perceive her body and your relationship may well have changed. Good luck to you both. :)
     
  5. RubyRed

    RubyRed New Member

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    A man's penis does not leave a "mark" on any woman's vagina.

    Still, you have to accept that people change. You two were apart for 18 months, and in that amount of time it's very likely, if not inevitable, that some aspects of her have changed - sexually and emotionally. It's a part of life. If you can't accept that, then as Heely said, you have some serious emotional baggage.

    I think you need to examine your own insecurities. Because if you're going to break down and cry and be unable to heal just because something "feels different," then you are being unrealistic.

    Nothing ever stays the same, my friend.

    You should be pretty damn thankful this girl has taken you back. Show her a little gratitude and appreciation, don't drive her away (again) with your hang-ups.
     
  6. Joe

    Joe
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    What Heelfetish said. Her vagina won't be changed. The difference will be how you feel emotionally. If you're both just happy to be back together, there will be no problem; if you're thinking about what's happened since you two split up, there could be problems.
     
  7. Hjack

    Hjack New Member

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    thanks for the posts. RubyRed, you got it wrong, we have been apart for a little over 2 months now. we were together for 18 months. it seems the general (small but thats ok) concensus is that there won't be a difference in her physically (the diff i am worried about is looser, to the point of me noticing). thats all i am worried about really...mby i am just weird. but i was afraid that if* she had been noticably physically changed, i would be able to think of nothing else during sex but...what had changed her (the other dude). RubyRed, you may want to re-read my post, cause unless i am mistaken i wrote that I broke up with her. sorry if i was not clear on that, apprecaite your help. Damn, i am gonna start a more "fun" thread soon lol, i am not usually one for emotional shit, this is just a special circumstance. thanks for bearing with me ;)
     
  8. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    My g/f was with a very huge guy before we where together, and because we where friends before hand, she used to tell me about him.

    I even once saw a pic he sent her of his dick (guess he was proud of it), and he was easily 10 inches or more... she said he measured it at 9.5 or so... so whatever.

    Once when we ran out of condoms... all we had where regulars she got at the clinic a few months before, and the X-Large ones she used with this guy.

    I can't fit into regular condoms, they are a bit too small, so I tried on the X-large and it felt like a hefty bag. I even told her to go grab me a garbage bag, it would fit tighter than that condom.

    So ya this guy was a monster, yet my g/f still felt ultra tight to me, and still does. Many times I have trouble getting in her unless she is totally wet.

    She also cums almost everytime we have sex, multiple times mostly.

    So believe me, if this dude couldn't stretch my girl's vagina, then some slightly above avg. guy isn't going to stretch your girl.
     
  9. Hjack

    Hjack New Member

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    thanks fliteskates, for that testimonial, very helpful. any one else with a similar or different experience?
     
  10. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    Another thing to add...

    When she was with this guy, she and I would talk about our sex lives and such, as we where friends first.

    She used to tell me he hurt her alot and it felt like he was hitting something he shouldn't be.. and she felt like she was going to puke at times. Especially in doggie and when she had her legs on his shoulders.

    She couldn't have really rough or hard sex with him because it hurt her way too much. She also wouldn't let him do anal.

    She even refused to have sex with him too often because she was too sore everytime they had sex.

    You gotta remember that all girls aren't pornstars and can't always handle really huge guys.. she was with him for awhile and never really got used to his dick.

    Now she gets sore with me to, but that is if we have sex two or three times in a day. So at least I get to have alot of sex.

    As for him, he didnt get to:

    - have anal sex
    - sex more than once every couple of days
    - rough sex
    - do it doggystyle
    - or even a really good bj cuz she couldn't fit him in her mouth

    Sometimes it is better to have a slightly bigger than avg dick than a huge one and deal with all of the above. I know I couldn't live without any of the stuff on that list.

    She is always climbing on my dick and putting it in her mouth.. she even wanted my dick in her so badly the day when we spent the night at her parents, that she climbed on top of me.. and I kept telling her her parents would hear.. and she said "I need to feel your dick inside me, now baby"

    So you will be fine, unless you keep obsessing over this other brother. Who cares about him? She is with you, not him.
     
  11. Hjack

    Hjack New Member

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    thanks again. i understand the disadvantages of having a huge dick. i am very happy with mine. very simply i am concerend our sex life will be changed. i don't want her to feel different to me, and i definitely don't want me to feel inside her. if that is the case, i'll have to deal with it, i just want opinions on whether or not that will be the case (of course no one is 100% sure). before go back into our old ways lol. don't want it to be too much of a surprise.
     
  12. Pride

    Pride New Member

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    in ur first post i thought u said she was a virgin when she was wiht you?...or did u mean she lost it to u
     
  13. RubyRed

    RubyRed New Member

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    Oops! My bad, Hjack. I think I need spanking :dgrin

    :spank
     
  14. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Mainly guys and gals of the same age when teenagers or early to mid twenties the female will noraly be far more advanced as in more grown up then the males.
    so yes she will have changed grown and may have different goals , but if you two have been apart for 2 months , why are you so concernded about if her pussy has changed ?
    wouldnt it be far better to concern yourself with getting back with her, and being the best you can be for her ( and im not meaning wit hyour dick either ) guys at one point have to realise penis size isnt all that bigger deal....knowing how to please and pleasure a female , to be wit hher hugs cuddles kissing emotianl sides is far better for her , than you worring if your pecker will feel the same inside her as before.

    It does seem ( and correct me if i am wrong ) that you seem to be very worried in case this other guy was a better lover than you are ...
     
  15. Nettle

    Nettle Member

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    I agree with Kronnie, and I wonder if the fact she had this other guy, is going to interfere with your relationship.

    She won't be stretched. Vaginas are very elastic.
     
  16. Mario

    Mario New Member

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    You should try using condoms. Unless you want to be a father so soon.
     
  17. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    If you are worried about how it will feel for her and you, then you ARE concerned about your dick size.

    When I was first with my g/f I didn't care about this other guy or how big his dick was. She chose to be with me... that is what mattered. I treated her better than him, I listened to her... I loved her. I learned all about her body and got her off in ways he never could.

    When I made her cum 6 times the one night shortly after we got together, and she walked to my door and stumbled, and came back downstairs after using the bathroom.. she was still twitching. I had confidence in myself and knew what I had to do to get her off.. I didn't have my dick in her and wondered.. does my dick feel as good as that other guy? Who cares?

    Dude even emailed her the other day, and she blocked him - again. She hates him, because he was a punk to her. Which again shows you it is more than dick size in a relationship.

    A woman's vagina adjusts to whatever size a man's penis is. If it is too small, then ya she won't feel much.. too big then it can hurt her. If you have an avg or slightly above avg. dick,
    then it isn't going to matter.

    She is going to feel the same.. if she was tight before, she will still be tight.. if she was loose, she will still be loose.

    Unless she had a baby, her vaginal muscles aren't going to stretch. Way too many guys think this happens when a girl is with a bigger guy, and it isn't true.
     
  18. Hjack

    Hjack New Member

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    no insecurities as far as him being a better lover. don't mean to sound arrogant, but no. we (the girl and i) talked anyways, and he was actaully uncomfortable as far as size is concerned. the only reason i am concerend is if it changed her. people are saying no, i am relieved, and #1 on my mind is getting back together with her, and being happy. she lost her virginity to me, and we had plans for the future. if the case was that she would be physically changed, i just wanted to be emotionally prepared for it when the time came. that does not seem a probable case however. simple question, lots of shit attatched though. anyway, unless someone has a different opinion as to the vagina being altered, question answered, thanks! and yeah, i do not want to be a father...but man those things are uncomfortable...mby cause i am uncircumsised...they just don't fit right it seems. but she is on birth controll so YEAH! and yes, Ruby you do need a spanking...hope you have a special someone to deliver it ;)