Well I'm not really sure sure how to begin with this, since I have never posted on a message board before, but I read on them a lot. So I guess here it goes. Please be kind and please no bashing. Well my husband and I have.been together for 15 years, his sex drive has came and gone through out our relationship. However the past few years have seemed like nothing but a struggle for me. I have never been able to experience things in the bedroom with him on a regular basis. The first thing that I noticed was that foreplay went out the door (I accepted that because we do have 3 children which are now 10, 6, & 5.) Then it was he didn't care if he finished anymore. I made it very known that I had a issues with that. Of which he replied, all I care about is you finishing. Why it bothered me I dealt with it for a while. Then he started with this "you play with yourself and I'll play with myself", I threw a fit. But to please him I did it, I just thought it was a phase. Then it was no not tonight. All in the mean time I'm buying outfits, setting the mood, getting dvds, ect.* Then it seemed like he snapped out of it and was into me again ( I was excited and hopeful ) and things have been going ok for the past 2 - 3 months.* Here we go again, he says I rub him raw, so I bought some lube (actually 3 different kinds**because I didn't know what one was best) so know he seems into sex but the rubbing him raw excuse is putting a hold on it. He says he doesn't want to use lube. Why? Whats wrong with lube? If it keeps him from raw who cares. I'm into all kinds of positions, oral, foreplay, ext. I'm not unattractive, I have a decent body, and c breasts. I show him love and compassion daily, along with building him up by saying things like how good he makes me feel, how much I enjoy being with him sexually, and random text messages about me give him oral sex. He talkes it up on text but at home he seems to always have an excuse. What do I do? How can I keep him from getting raw? (Do guys really get raw) Or do I just sit and wait like I did before?* Cheating isn't the issue, we have a great relationship other then the bedroom.* Guys any advice would be greatly appreciated.* Lady's any advice on what to do or if you have had to deal with this would also be greatly appreciated.