ok heres the deal. i am going to be 24 soon, a female and still a virgin. i don't have a problem getting guys and im not religious. i was raised catholic...i don't practice anything right now. i used to want to wait until i was married to have sex back when i was religious. when i got to college i stopped practicing religion but i still wanted to wait until i was married to have sex. now im out of college and i dont believe in marriage anymore. so i decided to just wait until i fell in love to have sex because i believed it was a special intimate thing that i just wanted to share with the right person. im getting older and i also am seeing someone now and i know that we might be falling in love and the issue of sex is going eventually smack me in the face. so i have been thinking about my position on sex a lot lately. so this is my problem. the other day i started thinking about the whole concept of sex just being meant for reproduction. i know it sounds crazy...but this is what i thought. when people have sex there are so many things to worry about. and so many bad things can happen to you from having sex like std's and unwanted pregnancy, etc. and i know also when i have fantisized and gotten off on some graphic things i always feel dirty afterwards and almost ashamed. (maybe this is because of my religious background that its just imbedded in my conscious or something). and i know everyone says, sex is such an amazing thing and to deny yourself your basic human instincts and pleasures is horrible. i really felt that way too. but then i was thinking, well a lot of things that feel good arent really GOOD. what if having sex for pleasure was really wrong, and all of those bad things are the punishment for it? i dont practice religion but i am spiritual, and i believe there is some greater force out there that will not let bad deeds go unpunished. so yes maybe sex feels good and we desire it, but is it really GOOD? should be really be doing stuff like that? and like gluttony feels good, but i dont think its good. and sloth can feel good but i dont think its good. anyways i have no idea if that even makes sense. im not sure if i believe all that crap, its just an idea that popped into my head the other day and i was wondering if anyone else ever thought about sex like that and what is your opinion of this idea? i probably sound like a lunatic. i obviously have sex issues but i dont know, to me its just more of the fact that i think about things way to much and i just want to be sure im doing the right thing. i definitely find myself wanting to have sex with the person im with right now. its a natural desire that comes over me but at the same time i think that desire has been heightened dude to how glamorized sex is everywhere. i also admire some of my friends who have so much sexual freedom and energy and they are just so open to sex and love it and love talking about it and just want to share their love and experience pleasure with everyone. i just dont know what to think. oh yea and another thing which makes this all difficult..i love being a virgin. i love the idea that im still pure pretty much. (ive never done ANYTHING except fantasize and get off on that stuff by myself.) so i say "pretty much pure." i like being this way because people admire me for it, but mostly because it just feels special and its been a part of my identity for so long that i might be afraid to let it go. i totally have the desire to have sex wtih the person im with, but only when im with him and we are alone in the bedroom. i dont think about sex during the day really, those fantasies are few and far between (once a month at most) and only when im bored actually. i dont think it would be hard to be a virgin the rest of my life because of this and a lot of times i think it sounds more ideal because its less to worry about. less complications and stress. i dont believe in birth control so that makes sex more difficult. and i dont want to get pregnant and think no matter what im using as protection i would still be paranoid during sex that i was going to get pregnant. staying a virgin and becoming a recluse sounds much more appealing most of the time! someone please give me their views on all of this or direct me to some good reading perhaps? anything would be much better than what i have at this point which is no clue.