My boyfriend seems to be insecure about being large....

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Jenny9, Jun 20, 2015.

  1. Jenny9

    Jenny9 New Member

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    Hi, my name is Jenny

    I've never visited a site like this before but I need some advice; I thought that maybe I could get it here. My boyfriend, let's call him Mike, has what I consider to be a pretty large penis. He seems to be pretty insecure about it when I mention it or look at it; when I arouse him, he tends to shy away. He's a good person, very outgoing but he almost seems to be ashamed of being large.

    I think that his penis is beautiful and he has nothing to be ashamed of. I asked him if I could take a few pictures and post them anonymously online for opinions but he refused. I don't want to turn him into a porn star but I really think that it would help him get over what ever issues he has about being large.

    If I could get him to agree, where is a anonymous place that might make it comfortable for him but won't do him any harm? I think that it would do him some good and make him more comfortable with his own body. He has nothing to be ashamed of....

    Thanks,

    Jenny
     
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  2. fbbg

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    Putting them up in the gallery on here is pretty anonymous, or even adding them to this thread would be a good way to prompt comments and discussion.

    Welcome to the site by the way :)
     
  3. lbushwalker

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    Many dudes seem to have insecurity issues with their dicks no matter the size ;)
    Jenny I think that what you are saying about his penis is the greatest compliment a man could hope to hear from the woman he loves.
    Just keep doing what you do until he feels more familiar and comfortable.
     
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  4. Cappy_Dick

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    Jenny, I suspect that like myself, Mike may have been taunted in school about having a "little dick". Kids can be extremely cruel to other kids. I am very much a grower, not a show-er. We were forced to shower after gym class, or risk being failed. In an un-aroused state, my tool does indeed look pretty small and I was badly teased for being ill equipped. In actuality, I measure around 8" erect, meaning maybe 3-5 men out of 100 are larger than me. However, I was insecure until I was well into adulthood. There was no internet yet and it seemed every male porn star was one of those 3-5 guys.

    xx
     
  5. Jenny9

    Jenny9 New Member

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    Thank you for the responses. Flacid, he's not that big but it really swells when I arouse him; I think that it embarrasses him. He's not HUGE but he's pretty big. I'd guess that he's between 7.25" and 7.5" when erect but I don't think that he'll let me measure it! LOL I'll keep running it past his ear; I may need to use my feminine wiles on him. ;)
     
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  6. nicelynoosed

    nicelynoosed Member

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    So... yeah. There are, of course, a number of potential reasons for his shyness. A lot of people get hangups from parents/school/friends when they're young and can't see that their opinions are conditioned, and not necessarily 'natural'. I'd ask about that first, but gently and cautiously and in a way that makes him feel safe.

    You don't mention any problems in the bedroom, so I'm assuming that he's fully functional, so to speak. My own issues in that area had to do with partners with whom I didn't fit well. If he isn't shooting off too soon, that's not your problem, so we'll move on.

    I've known people who have incredibly high tactile sensitivity. If he's worried you'll hurt him, you could work up to what you want more slowly. Start with your hands or mouth in the dark, where you can rule out the 'looking' objection. Slowly touch/kiss all over. If there's a particular spot that's ticklish or makes him jump, there's where you need to be careful. Get him used to feeling relaxed and good that way and then try it with only a dim light on. You might have to get a little...experimental at this point. If he feels like cumming on your breasts, for example, the visual appeal could help recondition him. In that same spirit, talking about bodies in general could help. Ask him what he thinks about your ass or tits or whatever, maybe while looking at them in a mirror.

    Looking at porn together could draw him out more. There are all sorts of sites for all sorts of tastes. Seeing other people displaying themselves might help to inspire him. It's always helpful to know the kind of things that turn a partner on. The photos section of this site should leave no doubt as to the prevalence of anonymous dick pics.

    Lastly, constant flattery may help to inflate his ego. I'm very partial to 'dirty' talk, but that doesn't have to be mean, degrading, or vulgar. Tell him how good he feels inside you. Use phrases that refer to his size in a positive light. "I love the way you fill me up," "I feel so full and wonderful when you're in me," "You're going to send me over with that big, hard (pick your own name for his cock)" are all in the neighborhood. You can use what you saw on the porn sites too, at this point. Fantasy is a great way to relax and enjoy the moment, so if you can ask if he wants to handcuff you and fuck you like this one picture or that you want him to do whatever to you like the guy in the video. If he's playing a role, he may feel more like opening up.

    All these suggestions take time, but they all boil down to increased communication and trust. Don't try to get him to move too quickly. Whatever makes him feel this way, whether it's physical, mental, or emotional, you'll get more cock with patience than any other method.

    But please, keep at it and let us know how it goes.

    Great question, thanks!

    NN
     
  7. Anotherday

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    You say he has a large cock?

    Never heard of a man being insecure about penis size when he's above average.

    Could be something else he's not talking about. I don't know
     
  8. _lookin4fun_

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    Honestly as a man with an average sized penis I have no sympathy for your boyfriend. Tell him to be happy he has one that most women drool over and to stop whining.
     
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  9. Barent

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    He's modest, not into showing off, etc. What's the problem with that? He just wants to keep his privates, private. Posting pictures online is not a good idea since he obviously isn't interested in this sort of thing and it could do a lot more harm than good. Most women, inducing my wife, do not like penis pictures, and those who do (like them) are few and far between. I think that you should let him be himself, and don't try to change him.
     
    #9 Barent, Jun 20, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2015
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  10. CLE32793

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    Think about this Jenny, are there any parts of your body that you get compliments on that you are just not that crazy about? Maybe you get a lot of 'Nice butt' but you still don't like it. We all have our own quirks and hang-ups, all I can say is don't put all kinds of crazy pressure on him over this. I can also tell you being a member here for a while now that there are a lot of 'nice' dicks out there and a lot of 'dicks' out there. Most of the time it's just a dick.
    I'll also add, my husband also has a very nice dick, I have all of three pictures of it, I took those just a few weeks ago. We've been together for, well, let's just say quite a few years and he's not insecure at all.


    editing to add I have polaroid's I forgot about ;)
     
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  11. Jenny9

    Jenny9 New Member

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    CLE32793, I agree totally. I am heavy chested but I really don't care for people staring or commenting on that matter. If I throw them out there in public, that is a totally different story. That's completely understood.

    Barent, I think that you did a pretty d@mn good job of describing him.

    NicelylNoosed, The sex is great; he just seems to be bashful when I focus on it or talk about it. He's a wonderful guy and I'd love him even if he was smaller. When he swells, it's pretty obvious; I think that the embarrassment over that probably goes back to an incident during adolescence.

    I had some pillow talk with him tonight and I think that I've got it figured out. In the past, he trusted somebody with a few pictures but they turned them on him. He won't go into details but apparently he's been paying for that for quite some time. Some women are just mean....

    Going back to get my romp on! :)
     
  12. nicelynoosed

    nicelynoosed Member

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    Ohhhhh! And there I was getting all philosophical and deep and completely useless. Simple 'once-bitten, twice-shy' is the reason. Shows what I know. Sheesh.

    Still, I'm glad it's nothing more serious. Happy screwing!

    NN
     
  13. arugula

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    IMO, that's the perfect size: "big enough" to please you, but fits everywhere else, if ya know what I mean...
     
  14. Clintriprock

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    This smells like a troll-y thread to me
     
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  15. boost

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    The only thing that bothers me is when i wear shorts / trousers and im sitting down or standing , it sticks out a bit much , i can see girls noticing and looking at my lower area thats the down side of having a big / thick cock
     
  16. CLE32793

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    That is the truth!
     
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  17. Jenny9

    Jenny9 New Member

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    NicelyNoosed. Your advice didn't fall on deaf ears; thanks!

    arugula. I don't know; his glans gets pretty large. I haven't let him in the back door and I think that he understands that.

    boost, I think it's the same with him; I think that is what makes him uncomfortable. If he swells when he's wearing certain clothing, it's really pretty pronounced. I can only imagine if that happened at the pool. Note that I'm not talking about an erection; it's more like a transitional stage between flaccid and hard. The thing is, that's when I really like looking at it; it turns me on.

    I talked him into a few pictures in that state. He said that I could post them if I really wanted to and if would help explain things. I'll think about it but I definitely won't do it over the home network.
     
  18. boost

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    Your right its very uncomfortable and embarrassing especially when its your wifes freinds that are looking or a older lady ,
    it must be like when guys look at girls breasts the girl can see were your eyes are looking
     
    #18 boost, Jun 21, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2015
  19. Jenny9

    Jenny9 New Member

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    Yup, in either case you are seen less as a person and more as body parts; that's how I figure it anywho. Ladies figures don't change drastically given the mood so we can plan appropriately. I'd imagine that it's a little more difficult for guys that tend to vary. Anywho, I'm just going to treat him as the guy that he is and support him if I see him feeling unsure. Enough said....
     
  20. Alwayslearningsex

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    Try not pressuring him into anything, but rather let him know you like / love it, show him some studies about "average" sizes to let him know where he rates - if he thinks he is on the small size. If he knows he is on the bigger side and that's what is his problem,
    don't overdo it and just show you enjoy him the way he is, let him grow confident with you.