[Ask a Guy] My boyfriend doesnt want as much sex as me.....

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by lovelylilady, Dec 12, 2011.

  1. lovelylilady

    lovelylilady New Member

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    Okey... so the general problem is that my boyfriend doesn't want as much sex as me. I am a fairly sexual person I could happily have sex every day or more, but I would happily settle for twice/three times a week, as it is he ok with once a month...I do get it about once a week but that is because I instigate and he goes with it because he knows how bad I want it. So generally I am just really frustrated, I love him and iv been with him for two years and we get on great, but I sometimes feel so angry and frustrated...I constantly make an effort and and he doesn't really try which makes me question myself. I happily give him blowjobs when he ask, so it doesn't seem like too much to ask, to want him to want sex and get involved now and then. I did wonder if he just wants something else and is too afraid to say, but he says he just doesn't feel like it :( . Iv tried sexy lingerie of various designs and he just said they were pretty but he preferred me without them, he's not into role play, tried handcuffs, tried anal, tried most of the comfy sex positions and some of the not so. If tried totally focusing on him and giving him load of forplay. But nothing really helps, for the first 6 months the sex was fairly good, he was into it and I was very happy, but since then things have got worse. It makes me so sad that I get into it and I beg while he just wants to lay there and with his eyes closed and do nothing.. Iv seen the porn he watches and its pretty straight up stuff so I dont think he has some fetish that he doesn't want to share, and he knows if he did id be willing to try it within reason. An im not unattractive im 5"10 and fairly slim with 36 EE breast and a nice bum and legs which he appreciates. So....im wondering if any other guys out there feel the same way as he does...or if anyone has any pointers they think I should try....im just worried that if it continues eventually it will kill the relationship....anyways thanks for taking the time to read my long post. =)
     
    #1 lovelylilady, Dec 12, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2011
  2. PDone7

    PDone7 Member

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    lovelylilady,

    Sorry to hear of this. I am a bit of the reverse. I could have it four times a week, but my SO is more like once a week. It has taken me ten years to broaden her mind [still a long way to go]. I hope someone can come up with an idea. As a man I like surprise and girl initiated. Good luck.

    PDOne7.
    :)
     
  3. lovelylilady

    lovelylilady New Member

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    Thanks =)
     
  4. indymightymouse66

    indymightymouse66 New Member

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    i dont feel that way, i am a very sexual person. I hope it improves for you, sex is a wonderful thing and is a good workout too
     
  5. lbushwalker

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    Mismatched libidos; nothing can fix that!
    Babe sorry to say but find someone more suited while you still have choices.
    Good luck!
     
  6. Alwayslearningsex

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    Going with the scenario your relationship is good, he is not depressed, no factor causing his sex drive to suffer. I agree this could be a sexual mismatch between two persons otherwise compatible.
     
  7. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    Masturbate until he comes to you. Maybe he'll come to you more frequently than if you come to him when you want it, and you want it more than he does. Kinda works that way for me.
     
  8. MrCuddly

    MrCuddly New Member

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    Fuck this shit, make him work out, that may up his testosterone and make him want sex more. If he feels sexier due to working out, this may help as well.

    Let him know that you really enjoy they way he has sex, too, he may just feel like he's not that good at it, too.


    If these don't work, find another guy.
     
  9. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

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    and theres me thinking us men are the sexual beast who are wanting it more than woman.....
     
  10. PDone7

    PDone7 Member

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    lovelylilady,

    Think hard about what you want. There is a lot to a relationship. I love my wife so much, but sex is just part of it. There are things I wish she would be more up for [outdoor sex and cumming on her boobs for instance]. BUT there is no way I would force them on her. I am Mr mainstream really, not in to anything unusual, just like pure sex, maybe your man is like that, do not try too hard. I have told my wife to surprise me when I am watching the telly by just appearing with only knickers on, slightly spread her legs, bend over and demand I lick her pussy there and then or I go without for a week. I am in there like a flash! No need for hand cuffs for me. Again, I wish you luck, you seem like a great girl who like me has a tingle in the pants most of the time.

    The only thing else I can think of is self pleasure. Do you do any of this?

    PDOne7.
     
  11. Ashlee41293

    Ashlee41293 New Member

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    Do you feel rejected?
     
  12. boobjob

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    Is something else going on in his life. Stress and tension can affect interest in sex. An illness in the family, financial troubles, heavy workload are some examples. It might just be something you need to talk to him about. He may not even realize that he is less interested. Communication is always the key.
     
  13. backcheck64

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    That's what I say. If you're only having it once a month, even just once a week, BAIL. We still have sex 2 to 3 times a week and we've been married 24 yrs. On vacation it's about 7 times a that week. We'd be 4 to 5 but with the kids hockey schedules and work schedules..2 to 3 is where we've settled. Can't wait for them to go to college.
     
  14. Kermit

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    Lol i remember being nostalgic for once a week lol, that became a lot lol
     
  15. backcheck64

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    If it drops to once a week, me and the misses will have a long sit down.
     
  16. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

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    If it drops down to that then my SO and I will have an infinite separation..........
     
  17. lovelylilady

    lovelylilady New Member

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    Thanks for your comments everyone =)...PDOne7, I do self pleasure regularly...it gets the job done but it really doesn't work as a substitute it just takes the edge off. Plus my boyfriend doesn't like it he says it makes him sad because only he should get to make me come, which would be fine if he wanted to make me come. Ashlee41293 I do feel rejected, it makes me feel like im not good enough. When he does have sex with me he makes me feel like he is doing me such a big favor (I even thank him for it) he makes it seem like it is such a chore to do something which gives him pleasure...I frequently get quite upset about it, I know other guys find me attractive and would be pretty darn happy if I wanted to sleep with them...it just seems so sad and screwed up that the guy I love doesn't give two shits. Don't get me wrong outside of sex he is sweet and caring and lovely. boobjob, Iv informed him and he said that he just doesn't feel like it. There is no finical trouble, he isnt that stressed and generally the relationship is good.
    backcheck64, I feel that it seems such a shame to through a otherwise good relationship away...plus im not sure id be able to leave him...but at the same time..if things continue eventually ill become more and more bitter. I just dont know what to do.

    Thanks
    Lovelylilady
     
  18. Kermit

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    It dropped down to once a month for about six months, and after that it pretty much dried up, we had so much shit going on in our marriage. I think after that threesome in the summer we only had sex twice since then. Doesn't help she had been forcing me to sleep on the couch every night cause i snore. And sad when she was getting more action than I was, i should have had a talk then, well wait i think we did and it ended with her telling me not to tell her what to do that she will do anyone or anything regardless how i feel about it. And her rejecting any physical attention no matter how slight (seeming more willing to accept it from others). I guess when you're rejected so often and feel so unloved and unappreciated it's not the greatest breeding ground for sexual relations.
     
  19. Priapus

    Priapus New Member

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    From what you have said here the first words that come to mind are what the fu.. is wrong with this guy?

    Sounds like he is in his late 40's or more?
    Any health issues or meds? Is he active at all even if its just at work?

    How often does he masterbate if any?

    You should start masterbating more openly, let him walk in, dont try and hide it.

    Also take away his bj's or only give them to him with sex.

    Does he work long hrs, any kids?

    You look very cute if thats u in your avatar so to basically be begging for one time a week then something is definately wrong with him.
     
  20. allforjulie

    allforjulie Member

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    Sorry to hear this perhaps exchange of stories with others and your bf will help. I am willing to tell you about my gf. Pm me if you wish will add to friend