My boyfriend doesn't like to spread my pussy?? Please help!!

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by The_Cone, Jun 12, 2010.

  1. The_Cone

    The_Cone New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2007
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    South East, England
    After 2 years of being together, I got frustrated because my boyfriend doesn't seem to like giving me oral.

    When he touches me, I want him to touch me better, but surely he can't do that unless he knows what he is touching, and if you're going to eat something, I figure that you would want to see what you're eating first. But he'd rather not, therefore I do not get satisfied when being given oral sex :ugh

    So, the other day when I got naked, I lay on the bed and asked him to look at my vagina and tell me what he sees. He just sat on the side of the bed and said, I see a pussy. I said, OK, but why don't you take a closer look and explore a bit? But he did not seem to try, I just wish he'd get to know my vagina. I asked him to get on his front and look at me, but it felt really pushy he seemed of me, and he didn't even do it, it felt VERY awkward!!

    It turns out that he doesn't like the appearance of open labia as he thinks it looks like he can see my breakfast and it is like opening up a wound, which is 'disgusting' (and he's scared of 'looking up the hole' as its like looking up into my body which is gross). I tried to explain that it's just a vagina and totally normal, and that I wished he would indulge in it a little more. However, he still could not bring himself to open the labia, and he shuddered looking away when I did it to myself.

    I got pissed off and sexually frustrated afterwards that I just left the room to cry, and we did not have sex, even though I had been gagging for it all day.

    Please help me, how can I deal with this situation? I want to be more adventurous with him, I want him to enjoy my pussy and make me feel loved for my body, and I want great oral sex!! I'm confused about his perspective and don't know how to handle it and I feel so sorry that I made him feel uncomfortable.
    Please help !

    (p.s. i'm completely comfortable with my pussy, its a nice one in my opinion and i just wish he could appreciate that too!!)
     
    #1 The_Cone, Jun 12, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2010
  2. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2010
    Messages:
    484
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    The only piece of advice I can offer is to have a talk with him, to try to find out why he seems so repulsed by the idea. Once you know what is so bothersome about it to him, then you will know what you can work on, as a couple to resolve this. I was completely repulsed by the idea of anal for a long time, until my fiancee decided to talk to me about it. Once I got comfortable with the idea, we tried it, and I found out that I love it. This kind of advice may seem to be given out here quite often, but in order to have great sex, the communication has to be there.
     
  3. NewGuy85

    NewGuy85 Active Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    435
    Likes Received:
    81
    Gender:
    Male
    I don't ever advise breking up with anyone, and I'm not gonna do that here. But I will point out its very important to a healthy relationship that you're sexually compatible with someone. If that's not the case, you either need to talk seriously with him like the above poster said, or maybe consider someone who pleases you.

    My wife doesn't love giving oral, but she's not repulsed by it, and she does like exploring me.

    I guess this is hard for me to give advice on cuz I do love giving it and looking and exploring. Imo, there's not better invention in the whole world hahaha

    But again, like was said, try to find out what he thinks is so bad. Labia are great lol. You do keep it clean right? I'm not accusing you of being dirty. But I have been down there at times when its been bottled up all day and it wasn't the most appealing place. Have you asked him that?
     
  4. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    Guys, she already stated that she talked to him about it and he gave her very clear, if somewhat surprising, reasons why he didn't want to see her hole.

    I don't know what advice to give you Cone, but I feel really bad that your lover thinks your vagina is repulsive. I would be heartbroken if there was a part of me that my partner told me he couldn't even bear to look at.
     
  5. NewGuy85

    NewGuy85 Active Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    435
    Likes Received:
    81
    Gender:
    Male
    True she did say that. I read it carefully. I just didn't think encouraging someone to comminicate could ever be bad advice haha

    Then maybe the answer really is finding someone who isn't repulsed by it. Again I'm not in the relationship, so I don't know what other connections they have. But to be perfectly honest if the woman I was with couldn't bring herself to look at my parts, it would be a bit damaging to the relationship
     
  6. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2010
    Messages:
    484
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I really hate to sound like an ass, being the new guy and all, but I don't think it sounds like they really tried to get to the bottom of the problem. It does sound like they figured out part of the why, but not why he feels the way he does about it. There has to be something that makes him feel that way. For all we know, he could have been sexually abused when he was younger, or maybe it could be something else. I think that getting to the bottom of why he feels the way he does about how a pussy looks could actually help them work through this. If my fiancee felt the same way about my dick, I would definitely try to figure out why, and really get to the bottom of it. Unless she knows why he can't stand the sight of it, there isn't going to be a whole lot she can do to help him work through this.
     
  7. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    Nope, you don't sound like an ass at all. :)

    I don't see how the OP has stayed with this guy for 2 years. Also, I don't think just the two of them talking it out is going to help. I think maybe the BF needs some professional help.
     
    #7 Barbwire, Jun 13, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2010
  8. The_Cone

    The_Cone New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2007
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    South East, England
    Yes its very clean (I shower - and groom daily), and never smells bad, I always prepare for him.

    He has had some experiences with women in the past where they did not care for themselved down there, and they did not want oral sex. However, the reasons he states is more related to my vagina as being 'inside my body' and therefore gross... even though he sticks his penis in there.

    So long as he can't 'see' it (the inner labia), he doesn't mind feeling or licking the rest. But giving oral to the bits that don't get pulled apart isn't a great oral sex performance IMO.

    This is really helpful advice thank you :) When I see him next I will ask why he feels that way about vaginas again, in the hope to find the real answer.


    On the otherhand, how can I possibly ease him into enjoying the appearance and thoughts of my vagina? Last night I kinda didn't initiate sex, I wanted him to make the first move to see if he considered changing. I asked him to undress me, (to which he only took off my knickers and trousers), however it got late and in the end I just started getting frustrated again... and again, we didn't have sex.

    Thank you for your support BTW, I am determined to sort this out with my boyfriend as I love him, and I'm feeling great faith with you guys :)
     
    #8 The_Cone, Jun 13, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2010
  9. NewGuy85

    NewGuy85 Active Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    435
    Likes Received:
    81
    Gender:
    Male
    Hmmm well I could see how some bad experiences with them in the past could stick in his head, but even that wouldn't ruin pussy for me hahaha.

    But if you really love him and he feels the same way about you, then u both should be able to discuss how you feel without being afraid of offending the other.

    Of course maybe the guy just doesn't like giving oral. Its kind of a shame, but that may just be it. What you do about it and him is ultimately gonna have to be your call. How important is that sexual experience to you and all, you know?
     
  10. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2010
    Messages:
    484
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Just remember the key to every relationship is communication. Whether it is finances, personal differences, sex, or anything else, the only way to work through it is communication. If something is bothering you, he can't do anything to try to help with it, if you won't talk to him about it. Don't try to pick at him about it, and don't be confrontational. Just make sure that he knows that it is something that is really bothering you, and that you want to try to work through it with him.
     
  11. rollthebones63

    rollthebones63 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2010
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    old dominion state
    tell him that you ain't giving him anything at all until he has a heart to heart conversaaion with you and you talk it over!if that don't work,tell him you ain't blowing him anymore!
     
  12. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2010
    Messages:
    484
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I honestly think this would do more harm than good in this situation. Threats like that are more likely to make matters worse, which is the reason we have mentioned having a good talk with him about it, and trying to work on the problem. Coming to a mutual resolution is going to do a lot more for their relationship than "I'm going to cut you off til I get what I want".
     
  13. KYman65

    KYman65 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2010
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Dang girl, I feel bad for you!!! I love eating pussy and especially watching EVERYTHING!!!
    I sure hope you either get things worked out, or find a man who loves OS!!
    Good luck girl!
     
  14. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2010
    Messages:
    484
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Have you made any progress with this yet?
     
  15. The_Cone

    The_Cone New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2007
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    South East, England
    No... I cut our relationship recently.

    I still love him, and the sex isn't the only thing wrong in our relationship but it has been playing on my mind a lot.

    I still want to have sex with him but I wish I could help him get better in bed. He hasn't even ever made me orgasm during sexual activity :(
     
  16. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    2 years together and no orgasm for you? WTF, girl!?!?!

    If he hasn't figured how to push your love buttons by now, he never will. Move on and find a man that loves every inch of your body and takes care of your needs above his own.
     
  17. NewGuy85

    NewGuy85 Active Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    435
    Likes Received:
    81
    Gender:
    Male
    Damn! CL's droppin the axe on this guy hahaha. Youre tough woman lol
     
  18. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    Nah, Cone did the axe dropping. I'm just trying to back her up before she has a weak moment and actually gives the guy another go at her and her lovely lady bits.
     
  19. NewGuy85

    NewGuy85 Active Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    435
    Likes Received:
    81
    Gender:
    Male
    True. I wasnt criticizing the move for sure. Im gonna back up the sentiment that this guy does not deserve it anymore haha
     
  20. NewGuy85

    NewGuy85 Active Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    435
    Likes Received:
    81
    Gender:
    Male
    O by the way, the new avatar- a definite keeper hahaha