My bizarre weekend..........

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by BitchN, Oct 19, 2012.

  1. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    First......I would like to thank everyone for all the “Get Wells” it was very thoughtful of you all.


    My bazaar weekend started off with me and my husband going to our lake house alone for the weekend. To my disappointment Friday night was a no go on sex…........he was to tired from working all day and then having to pack up for the weekend. I understood, even though I was soooo looking forward to the sex.

    The next day we go out on our boat, listening to the radio having fun…...…but my mind turns to this sex forum…....….I start thinking about all the things I have read, and all the things you guys like your women to do , or wish they would do….....….so I strip down, bare ass naked and lay out on the back seats of our boat.

    His face expression was priceless when he turns around to say something to me......never found out what he was going to say...:D

    He is driving, but keeps turning his head back to look at me, so I decide to give him a show…....…I put one foot on the floor of the boat, the other I bend at the knee…......so he has a very, very good view of me playing with myself.

    Not more than 5 minutes later he stops the boat, comes to the back and starts fingering me.

    I thinking…..yes, being on this sex forum has paid off.

    But before we can really get going, a boat comes by and he quickly stops and tells me to get dressed……..we will finish what we started back at the house. He starts the boat and kicks up the speed so we can get back faster, I get dressed still excited over what has just happened…..and I start to head down the stairs to the cabin to get out stuff together. All of a sudden the boat stops and the force of it throws me down the stairs and I hit the granite counter top.

    That is how I broke my ribs……and it sucks, I still haven’t got to have sex yet!

    Anyway……something happened to the motors and they wouldn't start, we had to be towed in by another boat, it took a hour and a half to get back. The medics were there waiting on the dock, he came into the cabin and checked me out, said I was in the first stages of shock. Not only did I have to walk up the stairs, but I had to leap from the boat to the dock……that hurt like hell…..I took about 5 steps then passed out, yeah, I’m a wimp.

    Well that was my bazaar weekend……….I’m sure I am the only one that needs the bumper sticker “If it wasn’t for bad luck I would have no luck at all”, but I’m wondering if any of you have had something like this happen? Not to this extreme, but something that happened and you couldn’t have sex? Or you where having sex and something crazy happened……like the bed broke, or you fell off the bed…..maybe a chair broke………or a table?
     
    Tell me your crazy sex story………….
     
  2. taster7734

    taster7734 Member

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    Re: My bazaar weekend..........

    Wow that really sucks! NOBODY deserves that...and you have been so nice to me...hopefully you got all of your bad luck lumped into one day... and will be nothing but lucky and contented for years to come....I wish you a speedy recovery...lol..your boat is evidently much larger than mine..I have a 17' Lund for walleye fishing....:):):)
     
  3. mrcock

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    Re: My bazaar weekend..........

    the motors just exploded from your sexiness

    :lol
     
  4. OverSinged

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    Re: My bazaar weekend..........

    Wow Bitchn, you got cock-blocked by a boat. I don't think we can top that.
     
  5. sandwich

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    Re: My bazaar weekend..........

    Hi B. What a story! You and your hubby will probably laugh about it in the years to come when you look back on it.

    I have no crazy story to tell, but I have fallen off a couch....no injuries. It will be fun to check back to see if you gather any other bizarre stories.

    Keep on getting well!
     
  6. Re: My bazaar weekend..........

    At least that happened.....mmm sounds hot! Get better!
     
  7. taster7734

    taster7734 Member

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    Re: My bazaar weekend..........

    Girls who fall off of couches are HOT!!..:):):)
     
  8. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    Re: My bazaar weekend..........

    Just a wee bit.....36 foot cabin cruiser. And your nice too :)

    I think the cards are not in my favor when it comes to sex..:ugh

    :lol
    You always make me laugh OS.....

    The couch counts as a crazy story.....and I'm with Taster.....falling off a couch in the heat of the moment is HOT!!
     
  9. mrcock

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    Re: My bazaar weekend..........

    I really doubt that

    :lol
     
  10. cbrmale

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    Re: My bazaar weekend..........

    Bizarre est 'crazy' en Française. Comme detest est 'hate', ami est 'friend', amore est 'love' et cetera.
     
  11. Essene

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    Re: My bazaar weekend..........

    My sexual life is fairly boring. I have sex, the end.

    As far as where it happens, when it happens, why it happened- to me that's all trivial. I understand that the point of this sort of story telling is to delve deeper into other's sexual history and, perhaps, to evoke a heightened libido via one's telling of a tale that evolves slowly with many sensory words. But I am not a fan of this style.

    Each period represents a word;

    "............................. I barely use the word "pussy;" but I was so in the moment that I used it regardless of how uncouth I think it is. .......................... He found a way to both service me AND his 305 small block.................., etc..."

    Where the point is to add many other facts aside from sex to lead one to wonder MORE about sex and, thus, peek one's libidinous curiosity.
     
  12. Esozh

    Esozh New Member

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    Re: My bazaar weekend..........

    Hmm, crazy stories. When I was still new to sex, I tried to take a girls panties off with my teeth and ended up biting her clit...

    Definitely have broken a bed. That sucked because the dog was asleep under the bed at the time. He was fine, but she was freaking out.

    The girl I'm with now, we were using a bullet vibe. I'm a big fan of fisting, and so I had 4 fingers in her, using the vibe inside, and when she orgasmed she spasmed hard enough that I lost my grip on the bullet and it ended up being pressed against her cervix on full blast. Considering we both know the ER crew at the hospital from our jobs, we definitely weren't going. Was quite a night getting the bullet out.

    An ex was giving me a blowjob in a casino parking garage and we got caught by the police.

    And the worst one.... The girl I was with all through high school wanted me to go visit her. I flew out, she picks me up from the airport, but is acting strange, very skittish, uncomfortable. She won't tell me what's up though. I knew she had been having trouble with her long term boyfriend and was about to break up, so I just left her alone. Long story short, two hours later we're having car sex in the church parking lot right next to my parents house, and her phone rings. It's her boyfriend. She hits ignore, and starts bawling. Apparently she had gotten engaged to him two days before, and didn't want to tell me. I've never seen or talked to her since that week - she married him 10 months later.
     
  13. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    Re: My bazaar weekend..........

    ^ Esozh, I thought I was the only one that had crazy stuff happen......but you have topped me......glad you didn't have to make a trip to the ER, and the dog was ok....
     
  14. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    Re: My bazaar weekend..........


    I'm just going to pretend I know what your saying......:p
     
  15. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    Re: My bazaar weekend..........

     
  16. igor

    Gold Member

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    Re: My bazaar weekend..........

    That happened to us too. The frame bent on one side and went down to the floor. Luckily the dog was underneath the side that stayed up where it belonged.
     
  17. lbushwalker

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    'Stralia Mate!
    Somehow I just knew that your accident involved some essential sexual component and not just some boring old MVA :)
    Atta-gurl BTN, you are a living legend!
     
  18. Clintriprock

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    When the medics showed up I was expecting the story to really take off....
    VERY disappointed.
     
  19. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    Damn, you all need to start checking under the beds!!!!
    Glad your dog was ok.....


    I aim to please Bush........and I haven't forgotten about my promise.;)
     
  20. Esozh

    Esozh New Member

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    BitchN, if I do nothing else I live life to the fullest. I get bored very easily. I don't want to be seen as the "I have to top this" type... And I know that you're not saying that.