[Ask a Guy] My Bad Daddy wants to watch

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by KinkyBadKitty, Apr 30, 2009.

  1. KinkyBadKitty

    KinkyBadKitty New Member

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    Ok guys, here is an opportunity to give a woman some male perspective on sex! My Big, Bad Daddy has made a request of me that I am having trouble understanding... He wants me to go have sex with another man and send him pictures and/or videos to watch, eventually leading to a three-some. Now, first I want you all to understand that Bad Daddy and I are VERY much in love with each other and view one another as our ideal mate / lover, having an already enjoyable, fulfilling sex life together. Secondly, I have always proudly been a "1 man woman" and the idea that having sex with another man- let alone, watching it happen!- would please him is something I'm having troubles getting my mind around. He says he knows that I love and desire only him- which, God! Do I EVER!!!- and that the involvement of a 3rd person is only a "tool to be used for our pleasure". I suppose I could see that perspective if I tried, and admittedly, a three-some with myself and 2 men is a very old fantasy of my own. So what I'm really wondering is... What about this could be pleasurable for him? I know that fetishes and fantasies are very personal things and no one could read his mind for me, but I would still like to hear thoughts from you men on what could be the motivations for a fetish like this one. Thanx for the help! :bow
     
  2. lbushwalker

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    Dear KBK,
    Frankly, if is something you have fantasies about and could live with in reality then go for it but on the other hand I would not recommend doing something which is against your nature and own moral values regardless how much you want to please the one who loves you.
    When all is said and done you need to respect yourself and have to live with the consequences of your actions no matter the motivating factors.
    Maybe not a lot of direct help here but at least some things to consider.
     
  3. ~emm~

    ~emm~ New Member

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    i know i don't really have a place to say this, but from the sounds of it, I'm extremely scared that this event would ruin such a genuine and loving relationship you've admitted yourself.

    Activities like this, often cause the jealousy to set in after it's done. And not really thinking of the consequences before you go along with it.

    On the other hand, it works for some couples and gives some a huge thrill. But please double check and think about it for a bit longer because if the view on it changes after it's done, it can't be changed and the consequences can be heartbreaking.
     
  4. lbushwalker

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    Dear KBK,
    emm has said it more succinctly than I could or wanted to but she is so right, ok!
     
  5. igor

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    In that case why would you even consider doing it?

    I just can't ever get my mind around the fact that some guys want to see their gal doing it with another guy.
     
  6. Hot Wheels

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    Did you do a search Kitty?......there's no end of threads on the plus's and/or pitfalls of this sort of scenario.....some of them active right now.....:D
     
    #6 Hot Wheels, Apr 30, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2009
  7. Old Hippie

    Old Hippie New Member

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    I remember reading a Playboy article when I was about 17. Hugh Hefner said this " A man doesn't figure it out until it is too late." This reminds me of that and also reminds me of a country song I wrote once. It was called Don't Ever Leave Love to Find Love. Since you say that you are gassed to be with this guy and don't need another, you should tell him that. And ask him what there is to gain from it.
     
  8. KinkyBadKitty

    KinkyBadKitty New Member

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    I appreciate everyone's posts pointing out concerns and pitfalls; no one has said anything I've not already considered and discussed with my Bad Daddy. I guess I must have posed my question too late in the post, because ~other than one private message I received~ nobody has been able to address it. I'm still left wondering what a man might find pleasurable in watching the woman he loves have sex with another man!
     
  9. lbushwalker

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    Hi KBK,
    That questions beats me also but I have a friend who finds just that very notion highly arousing.
    He admits to jealousy which he has channelled (so he says) into a positive stimulating force and secondly he has voyeuristic tendencies.
    There may be other darker considerations but I am not aware of them.
    BTW he also photographs the events.
    The above may not apply to your man but that is one guy's reason(s) for the attraction.
    Hope this helps.
     
    #9 lbushwalker, May 4, 2009
    Last edited: May 4, 2009
  10. igor

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    In my case, I wouldn't find it pleasurable at all. As I said before, I can't understand why a guy would like this. Either watch another couple having sex or tape yourselves doing it.
     
  11. gentlegent

    gentlegent New Member

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    Hi Kinky,

    An interesing question which I'm not sure I've found the full answer to myself however I share his view / fantasy and am in a very similar situation to you in regards relationship.

    For me there's a few factors going on here:

    1 - I find my partner extremely attractive and seeing her in pleasure in the most pleasurable thing ever! Therefore seeing her with another man, or knowing she was having pleasure with another man but still loved me is a fantastically horny thing to think about.
    2 - Very similar to point one, in so far as I care about my partner greatly but want her to feel loved, happy, liberated and free within the relationship. For her to be able to express her freedom and liberation by having sex and pleasure with another man and then coming back to me whom she loves is a great thought also.
    3- It's very horny seeing the physical results of my partner having been in pleasure particularly with another man - wet, swollen, flushed etc.
    4- There's a bit of male domination in the mix too I think as my partner would have sex for pleasure with someone else however she'd be coming back to make love to me whom she loved.

    So for me it's based around knowing the person I love is having lots of liberated pleasure. Of course there's the "dirty" bit that she's having sex with another guy (stranger) just for one off pleasure. I'm slightly embarrassed to say that my thoughts go even further and that I'd love to give her oral after she'd done it........

    In regards to some of the previous comments, quite right, not many relationships can take this so be sure to examine it properly before you do do it.

    Finally, is he stressed at work or anything? Stress is often a big factor in someone putting a greater empahsis on fantasies rather than "reality", it's just another form of escapism. I have to be very careful here as it's a fault of mine. This doesn't make his thoughts any less genuine but the reason I make this point is that if this were to be true then it would make it more likely to damage the relationship if you did do it. The reason being is that despite what he thinks the underlying appeal of the thoughts is actually just a psycological diversion from stress etc so any enactment of it would not live up to his thoughts and image of it.

    If on the other hand he's very chilled out and feels that whilst being in the present so to speak then it's far more likely to go well (obviously from his side). You'll have decide on your own feelings.

    Don't know if this helps?
     
  12. Barbwire

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    I don't know if that helped the OP, but it sure gave me some things to think about. I am the very same way, the more stressed out I am the wilder my sexual imagination is and the more "out of the norm" my fantasies get. My libido really gets amped up as well, when I'm stressed.

    There have been times when I've been running late driving to very important appointments and have had to pull off the road to finger myself to an orgasm because there was no ignoring my body's demand to climax and I just couldn't hold off.
     
  13. evman

    evman New Member

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    I think you are the exception to the rule when it comes to women. I read somewhere once that men tend to want sex more when stressed and women less. I know that's the case in my relationship.

    Another time when I get really horny is when I am really over-tired. For some reason it just makes me want to have sex. Maybe my brain is saying, "Hey, as long as we're up, let's have some fun!"
     
  14. Barbwire

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    My husband have a "busy season" at work each year and when they are going flat out, he's almost never in the mood for sex because he's so stressed out and tired. I don't think either one of us is the exception to any rule because when it comes to sex, there really are no "rules", right? ;)
     
  15. lasarus2k

    lasarus2k New Member

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    to try to answer the origanal question, even though i wouldn't get a kick ou of this maybe some men do because it's taboo
     
  16. lbushwalker

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    Stress and the need for sexual relief (or not) probably relates to responses to Adrenaline: the fight or flight hormone.
    In the CL example a short sharp increase of the hormone probably accounts for her increased sexual desire whereas a more sustained or prolonged exposure such as experienced "seasonally" by her husband is most likely to cause aversion.
    Anecdotally, I can relate to both instances above and have in fact experienced exactly those manifestations.
    :) CL , I also sometimes when running late for a important meeting find myself even later because of the dire need to jack off!
     
  17. civek

    civek New Member

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    i personally wouldnt wanna see my girl with another man... another woman yes.