Move on?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by sharky, Jan 25, 2006.

  1. sharky

    sharky New Member

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    I have been trying to date this girl I have known for sometime now. Alisa is Bi-sexual, and I recently learned that she is trying to hook up with a lesbian that lives two hours away. I know long range relationships tend not to work... some do. My advantage is that I live all but four blocks away from her, frequent her house, and also have been known to see her a few times at work. Disadvantage seems to be the fact that she really loves this chick. Megan's advantage is the fact that Alisa loves her, while her disadvantage is the distance. I also dont possibly know how the two of them could last anything long term, one being they are both women, and two they are always fighting over the phone. Megan has stated to Alisa that she doenst want a relationship due to the distance, and that she doesnt have a car.

    With that aside, last Wednesday, I had the chance to meet up with Alisa at a local bar, where I was already there playing pool with a couple co-workers... Now when she entered I greeted her, and she hugged me and then kissed me on the lips, " hey you " was her greeting. I walked over to the bar, where she soon joined me and kissed me again. I asked Alisa how things were at work, and with Megan like usual. She told me work was boring, and that her and Megan had another fight. I told her that it was unfortunate to hear it, and she got her beer and walked back to the tables. I resumed my play and later went to the restroom. I returned to find that she had talked with Megan, and left pissed off. So since I had no clue where I stood with Alisa, I went over to her house, and checked in with her. We watched a movie, and she then invited me into her room, and we laid in her bed and resumed the movie where she of course cuddled up next to me, still drunk. Alisa passed out halfway through the movie, so I never really talked to her much more than the exchange of a few drunk stories.

    We did not have sex that night due to my not knowing where things were, and didnt want to start any trouble. Don't get me wrong, I knew she wanted to, and I of course wanted to as well. I mainly stayed away from it, due to the fact Megan being a lesbian does not like Alisa sleeping with guys. Currently as it stands, I have been told that she still wants to try with Megan, and she told me that she enjoyed our night still... As far as the subject of what did or didnt happen she hasnt asked why not, nor have I explained. I have thought that over alot, and you all know about second guessing. I have noticed that she hasnt talked to me as much, since.. but I still want to keep at it.

    I am just wondering if maybe I should move on from Alisa, or just make sure I am there for her if she needs the trusty shoulder. I do know that I am more traditional in ways..

    BTW my roommates told me that I should have just done it, and that kinda makes me feel I lost my chance to prove anything that way to her.
     
  2. BiBiBaby

    BiBiBaby New Member

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    one thing you said was that you don't know if anything will last long term because they are both women. they could be just as long term as any other relationship.
    and because she is bisexual you've got to look at it like she is just seeing 'another person' not 'a woman' to us it really doesnt matter.
    if she loves megan but you really care for her, i would hang around, be a supportive friend (avoid bedroom scenes and passionate kisses). if things with megan don't pan out, she'll see the light (hopefully) that you've been there for her through it all
     
  3. sharky

    sharky New Member

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    I guess I didnt really consider that, her roomates and some of my friends are giving me a bit of a hard time over it. As far as the basis of stating my opinion of a woman-woman couple not working, I suppose that was just me being a bit frustrated with the whole thing.
     
  4. teamster145

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    I think you need to make your feelings for her known. Being a good friend is one thing but you need to let her know what you really want. I do think you missed your chance to have sex with her. She may just be thinking of you as a good friend and no other way. to quote a very funny genie " tell her the truth!"
     
  5. sharky

    sharky New Member

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    Well at this current moment in time, Alisa knows my feelings for her. Although it also seems that due to a fight with her roommates tonight she may be moving home, which would work out better for Megan then. I have offered an out for atleast the night to cool off, but she seems to still be on the phone with Megan, and hasnt responded to my calls or texts. I hate to say it, but it does appear right now that I will have to move on, unless she stays. I do know now that I am not welcomed by her roommates now that they know I have sided with her 'against' them. I suppose that is what happens when 6 girls live in a 5 bedroom house. Thanks for the advice, I am sure I will use it one of these days.