Most Awkward Situations

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Kermit, Dec 9, 2011.

  1. Kermit

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    I was thinking this morning of and i thought i'd share and hope others share as well

    I used to date a chick (who in some ways was worse than my soon-to-be-ex wife, she made her look like a saint at times, the reason i left her; i sure know how to pick them!) who had a six-year-old daughter i believed was so starved for attention (i suspected neglect) she would latch on whoever showed her attention, and that someone was me. Out of six adults in teh house, i was the only one who made an effort to give her attention, listen, and give her positive feedback to help her self-esteem. Not bragging i just thought it was pathetic i was the only one making an effort.

    But anyways we were in the living room with the TV on and she told me she wanted to show me something in another room. Didn't think anything of it as she liked showing me things of hers, like coloring books pens, stuff like that.

    But this was different. She turned out the light and closed the door. That freaked me the hell out. I don't know what the hell this little girl wanted to show me wit the lights off in a closed room, should have asked her, but i turned on the light and opened the door back up. She repeated her action and i repeated turning it back on.

    It's awkward but how the fuck do you explain to a six year old how dangerous that is to do with an adult male. Do it with the wrong guy and he'll use the opportunity to molest her. She was in no danger from me of course, I just figured no one would believe me if they caught me in the dark room with the door closed that it was her idea so she can show me something that has to be seen in the dark. I refused to allow myself in that position.

    I had to do something, so i told her mom and she did the best she could with greater authority than i had.

    Although at times i keep reminding a friend of mine who sees her around on occasion to punch her for me (just kidding, she volunteers lol), i still worry about that little girl and hope she turns out okay in this world.
     
  2. RideNaked2

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    Kermit, I can totally understand why you would react the way that you did!
    A suggestion if/when something like this happens again...if you have a good relationship with this young lady try just talking to her. Try explaining to her about how people can behave but remember to choose your words carefully. Talk to her in words that she will understand. It is not easy to explain these things to a 6 year old but can be done and sometimes comes better from someone other than a parent. Especially if this 6 year old looks to you for the positiveness in her life. By you talking to her about this and listening to what she has to say about it in response you are creating a better relationship with her along with helping to impose very important boundaries for her. JMhO :)
     
  3. 1hotmamma420

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    Well said Ride! I agree.
    It's asham and sad that little kids (mainly lil girls) resort to doing things like that. I'm glad you were there Kermit, and not someone else who would have hurt her.
     
  4. Alwayslearningsex

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    that was wise of you to avoid any potential misunderstandings.
     
  5. Alwayslearningsex

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    Years ago the ex and I looked after a couple's kids as they needed the time without. The younger daughter, 4 at the time, came and snuggled with me in bed. I knew she had a habit to do it with her parents at the time and she trusted me very well, like her parents. Then I told her mom when they picked their kids up, again the trust, no concern, just a smile and aknowledging her habit, but what if I was a molester who kept my "identity" secret until then ....
     
  6. boobjob

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    I don't believe in explaining things to 6 year olds. I believe in just saying "Don't do that." Explanations lead to exceptions and 6 year olds kids dont have the brain power to excercise judgement. You were right to tell her it was wrong and to tell her MOM. These days with all the different scandals, there is no excuse for an adult to be alone with a child in a compromising position.
     
  7. Meow181

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    Sadly Kermit little ones trust everyone n there are the predators who prey on the innocense of babes. Well done on yr actions. I've worked with both end of the spectrum. Little ones abused to the crims who commit the crime. When I worked with 4 yr olds I taught them protective behaviours so that in the event they were in the position of potential abuse they could recognise the signs n knew how to protect themselves as sexual predators use fear n secrets to submit their victims. Totally agree with everyone elses posts too. The best way to avoid this happening again is n up front with the child but not confrontational. Example - when she took u to show u in the dark room I'd I've said can we have the door open n the light on I don't like the dark and or can mummy come too?? Kids are accutely perceptive she would of perceived yr discomfort and her little mind will think I've upset uncle Kermit what did I do wrong ?? Immediately as U did let mum/dad know as the child needs to b taught sexual protective behaviours. And the trick to communicating with kids is the KISS principal. Keep It Simply Stupid. Don't make a big issue about it but teach the child u can't trust everyone and teach them appropriate interpersonal skills. Sadly most sexual abuse occurs between the ages of 2-8. We've gota protect n educate the little ones so they don't fall prey to the sickos.
     
  8. Twizted

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    well said !!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
     
  9. Kermit

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    Yeah wish i had invited her mom into room but i was just in a state of shock lol. But I have no contact with her or her mom anymore after i ended the relationship due to some bullshit going on I wasn't gonna put up with involving her and another guy, theft, and I could not stand to listen to her scream at her daughter using F-bombs over stupid shit. No wonder she latched on to me, her mom was insane. As much as i wanted to be a positive influence on her life, it wasn't worth staying in a bad relationship. But the one thing I take from it is that it made me want kids of my own someday. Probably will never happen but a guy can hope.
     
  10. RideNaked2

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    AWWWW, Kermit...don't give up on having kids! You have LOTS of time yet! I believe (from reading your postings) that you will be a great Daddy, and a little one would be lucky to have you as theirs! :)

    Keep the chin up, finding that "special" person will happen when you LEAST expect it! :) :)
     
  11. Kermit

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    Probably in the form of a conclusion from a clumsy girl (with the heart of gold) knocking me in the head at the grocery store.
    It's weird, I had a friend and i came over to visit one time and her kids were there, and for some reason they adored me and would beg my friend (their mom) to let me babysit for them. Only thing i can think of is how i approach kids: i speak simply, politely, respectfully, and directly, no condescension. If any age difference it's referenced it's to say "oh i had one of those when i was your age!" or "when i was a kid.." to show how much i can relate to them, or on what level i can. But that's how i talk if i ever have to interact with children. Don't know if they pick up on that or appreciate it, or just like having someone pay attention to them. My soon-to-be-ex wife would say it's cause i'm fucking childish but lol she said a lot of things. As much as i want kids, i'm scared that htey'll have my fucked up genes
     
    #11 Kermit, Dec 11, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2011
  12. Meow181

    Meow181 Active Member

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    Froggie.... youre perfect... :)

    Dont let the past inaccuracies affect the beautiful person you are...
    They are wrong....
    You are right

    :)