More of Life's Questions

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Thorn, Jul 17, 2005.

  1. Thorn

    Gold Member

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    More of Life's Questions:

    ~ How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

    ~ If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

    ~ Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

    ~ Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

    ~ Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

    ~ What disease did cured ham actually have?

    ~ How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    ~ Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

    ~ If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

    ~ If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

    ~ Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

    ~ Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

    ~ How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

    ~ If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

    ~ Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

    ~ Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

    ~ Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

    ~ Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

    ~ Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

    ~ When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?

    ~ If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

    ~ Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

    ~ If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

    ~ Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

    ~ Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

    ~ What do you call male ballerinas?

    ~ Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

    ~ If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

    ~ If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

    ~ If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    ~ Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

    ~ Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

    ~ Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

    ~ Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

    ~ Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
     
  2. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    If a man speaks and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
     
  3. Thorn

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    That's a good question. We should start a poll. LOL! The result would probably run along gender lines. :lol
     
  4. columbus17

    columbus17 New Member

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    I spoke to you in a PM just before reading this, was I wrong in doing so? I might not have done it had I read this first.
     
  5. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    LOL - That probably means you were WRONG - WRONG - WRONG!!!!
    :lol :lol
     
  6. columbus17

    columbus17 New Member

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    I have most definitely been accused of that transgression quite frequently here lately. but this was a solicited PM.. She asked for it, and she got it!!
     
  7. cegha

    cegha New Member

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    ~ Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

    You know that us (as humans) as the only species that actually drinks milk onced weined (sp?) off it. No other speices on the planet starts drinking milk again on there own after they stop drinking it from the mother.
     
  8. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Why do men have nipples?
     
  9. Ryan

    Ryan Gold Member

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    Gaylord Focker:You can milk just about anything with nipples.
     
  10. RedMatrix

    RedMatrix Banned

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    Well, not from their own mother at least! ;)
    Oh, and cats love milk.
     
  11. fran8judy

    fran8judy New Member

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    Why dosen't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
     
  12. Ryan

    Ryan Gold Member

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    It needs air to harden. :p
     
  13. AnonymousOne

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    Why does Ryan admin abuse?
     
  14. Ryan

    Ryan Gold Member

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    Abuse the Admin Ryan? NO!
     
  15. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Okay - THIS IS SERIOUS!!
    I know EVERYTHING about sex! Oh, hell , yeah!

    But - what about the "Birds and the Bees"?

    I must confess, I have no clue how birds "do it", and bees "do it".
    Do birds - like - do it 'doggy style?
    Don't their bellies and beaks get in the way?
    If bees do it that way, wouldn't they sting each other?

    Why do we say - "Teach them about the birds and the bees"?
    They don't fuck anything like the way we fuck... do they?

    I swear - this is a REAL question I have!
     
  16. AnonymousOne

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    You know ... I always wondered the same thing ...
     
  17. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    .... and you are an intellectual. That makes me feel good.