Hi y'all, a new guy here. My question is this - with all of the interest and pleasure the forum members have in sex, to what extent has it been difficult to remain faithful in a longterm, allegedly monogamous relationship or marriage. Thanks.
Theres always gonna be some curiousity. The way I see it, people cheat on others cause theres something that there not getting from there partner that they feel like there getting from someone else. ex: attention, sex, love, etc.
Hi! Welcome to the forum! I've been with my hubby for 18 years, married for 9, and I've never had the desire to go outside our relationship, nor has he. We are open in our wants and desires and respectful, and that seems to keep us both very happy I agree with Deep, that people cheat because they are missing something, and I don't think that necessarily has to be sex that they are missing, as he said, it could just be affection.
I have never felt the urge to be unfaithful to my partner. Though my sex drive can be a bit too much for him to handle sometimes...lol
Well, I guess this would be a place for me to post (not that I have trouble posting LOL) - Welcome, and this is a very good thread you started. I have been with my husband for almost 29 years. Without going into very boring detail, we have had some times when .... if we were not COMMITTED to the sanctity of marriage - perhaps cheating would have been an option... for both of us. We both are thankful that it did not happen, as NOW we are more sexually intrigued with each other than ever before. I suppose it all has to do with how much you are willing to endure - in order to get to "the other side". Kids, Stress, Conflict, Debt... damn - anything could make you look in other directions. Just make sure you take time to look at your spouse / SO and evaluate. You will find nothing compares to the history, and chemistry, and connection that you have. I feel confident that older persons who have fallen for an affair, will admit that it was not worth what they gave up in the end.
Well, I must say for my maiden voyage in this forum, I have got some very thoughtful and encouraging responses. I think I'm gonna like it here. Thanks again.
Dear Bare Hug, For me, the SF forum serves a purpose of finding ways to remain faithful to my wife. I believe my power in the marriage is increased by my being faithful and not embarrassing my wife with even flirtations. When I have a feeling that something is missing in my marriage, I do a search for what others have said about the feelings. If I don't find the solutions from my search, I often post a hypothetical or start a thread on a problem. I don't have trusted friends with whom I feel comfortrable discussing the issues I feel with my wife. So this forum serves me as a trusted friend. In fact, one of my rules for remaining faithful to my wife, is to avoid discussing problems in my marriage, with other women. Discussing my wife's faults with another woman has sometimes generated sympathy for me, from the other woman, and occasionally so much sympathy that temptation arises. So the SF forum serves as a safe place to vent. Blessings
Thats an interesting point you made at the end Logger... Since I have gotten older, I have made a conscious effort to never bad mouth my hubby to anyone, for any reason, even if we are in a fight. I don't know why I decided to change this aspect of me, partly because I felt like I was belittling him and myself when I did, partly because people, mainly my family, would tend to take my side, and that later made me feel bad, so I can totally see how venting to the opposite sex may have unforeseen results (temptations)... I've never really thought about it before though... As far as the other issues, I have never had an open, honest conversation about sex with anything other than my husband... my female relatives are sarcastic and crude due to their own sexual inhibitions (I learned of periods when I got mine, lol) and I suppose I don't really have any girlfriends I hanng around with, so here is where I discuss...
I got married at 34....and when I met my wife I knew right away she was the one I wanted to marry. Before her I dated alot and played around plenty, but I never strayed when I was in a commited relationship. If I wanted to keep playing with lots of women I would never have gotten married in the first place, so its real easy to stay faithful for me. I love my wife with all my heart ,shes my best friend and one and only. And our physical relationship keeps getting better as we are together longer and longer...over 6 yrs. happily married and together over 8 yrs.
There was a time in our marriage when things were a bit rocky but I could never have fooled around on her. I am in it for the long haul whether she wants me or not. Not that if she wanted to leave I would ever tie her up, lock her in a closet and feed her only every other day or anything like that. :lol :lol But i wont screw it up by doing something stupid like that. Her and our two daughters is all I need.:tup :tup
There have been times in my relationship where I have craved female companionship... but my man and i founded our relationship on trust and communication so when i feel a need for something he isnt/cant give me i still talk to him. So far we've made it through
I am curious, Bibi - do you have a 'bi' relationship every once in a while? I mean - does he accommodate your desire? - with his blessing?
we've talked about having a 3some if the opportunity arose...but thats not a relationship.... and he knows quite a few dedicated couples, married and otherwise where the woman also has girlfriends from time to time.... thats just not something he's willing to accomodate...and iwouldnt ask it of him... monogamous relationships are that for a reason and although it does get difficult because at times i do crave female companionship of the sexual sort, i would never want to change how our relationship operates.... i love him and who he is so I would never want to go elsewhere (even with permission), and i can deal with physical urges other ways... i've mentioned before though that if he and i were to ever part ways it would be a long time before I would persue a relationship with another man, emotionally i dont generally connect well with them
After 15 yrs of marriage I started to wonder what another man would be like.How it would feel to have someone else touch me.I told my husband about my raising desires and he agreed as long as we were honest with each other and never lied or tried to be deceptive.Had my first 'new' man about a month later[he was our next door neighbor];I would flirt with him went he came over to our house by never wearing a bra.I would wear tops that were light in color and material so that it would be very obvious I didn't have anything on underneath my top.I am a 36c with large nipples,so it was very easy to tell.He couldn't keep his eyes off my breast.Also I would wear skirts and when we would sit down I would sit across from him and then I would let my mini-dress ride up to the top of my thights.I would let him know that I knew he was looking by looking into his eyes and letting him see me watching him as he looked at my legs and breast.Within a week I had him in our bedroom and I had my first threesome with my husband and our neighbor.I loved it......it was better than any fantasy a women could have.Since then I have dated some 15 different men and I currently have 7 boyfriends that I see weekly.My sex life has never been better and my husband and I have never been closer........it has made me love him even more.I could never go back to having just one man again.....I love it to much.
Karen What a naughty girl you are!:tup So naughty that you should be spanked accross your bare ass Perhaps I should deliver the spanking!! After a decade of marriage, my partner and I have remained faithful. But I still love to flirt. My wife knows that and she has no problem with it as she knows that there is only one person I sleep with and truly love. Life on Planet Earth is simply too short to be non exciting!
