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Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by jasmine32, Mar 14, 2007.
Do men cheat more because of their midlife crisis? Or do men just cheat whenever there's an option?
Men cheat if they are dishonest by nature, and if their relationship is somehow failing due both to their negligence as well as that of their partner.
Please do not judge all men by the actions of a few fuckheads. Build a solid foundation of trust in your relationship and you should be fine.
Nevermind, I read your blog..I guess you do too! Can I ask though, why bother getting married if you're just going to swing solo all the time anyway?
It's not an insult, just asking because it makes no sense to me.
In my opinion, there is a difference between a swinger and a cheater. But I'm not here to judge. I just wanted to state my opinion.
I think men who want to cheat will cheat. Sometimes, a man who didn't consider cheating will do so when provided a spicey opportunity. I think the same can be said for women. Shrugs.
All about cost/benefit baby! :lol
Sometimes I do think it is a mid-life thing. I only say this because that is exactly where I am at!! LOL. I have never cheated on my wife in 31 years, but I must admit, if the opportunity arose? Would I do it? Yes and no. It would absolutely have to be the "perfect" women of my dreams to cheat on my wife. The problem is >>> There is a girl that fits this description and we both flirt. The problem >> She has already told me NEVER and NO WAY! YOUR MARRIED. So, unless she changes her mind, no cheating from me.
lol Why is it always 'the men' that have midlife crisis? I just dont get it. Many, many women I know do exactly the same thing at the same age as the men *chuckles*, and we never get a mention now do we? hehehehe
*raises hand shyly* Count me in, that's about how I feel, at times.
thats right. Men don't cheat, women don't cheat, people cheat. Each case is a little different.
I wouldn't know about cheating because I haven't
and I'm pretty sure my husband hasn't.
But I guess you can never say never.
I think it comes down to personal ethics and respect. I had an extra-marital affair in the past, and it was simply a matter of selfishness and lack of self-discipline. If you're marrying a "good man" (who adheres to his morals when personal sacrifice is involved--very important) who treats you like a goddess, I think that's about as good an indicator as any that he'll remain faithful Age has nothing to do with it.
I think it rather insulting that all men who cheat are called 'fuckheads'. Perhaps some members of the forum should think before they post, and then decide not to post.
There is no one answer to extra-marital sex, it can be a matter of personal ethics, it can be a sign of a deeper malaise in a relationship, it can be a whole lot of things. If the non-cheating partner offers indifferent sex, or no sex, does that make the cheating partner a fuckhead? If the cheating partner travels a lot and is feeling lonely, and has an affair with a married woman who is also travelling and feeling lonely? If both of those combined maybe? Who knows?
Statistically, about 80% of marriages will be touched by cheating by one or the other partner, so there are a lot of fuckheads out there. No, there are a lot of different reasons, and approaching 40 is but one of them.
On the other hand, if the basics of a relationship are strong, and the sex is shared freely and the sex is good, then I think the temptation to cheat is much reduced. Not eliminated, but certainly reduced.
It can become boring being with just one person.....I understand this only too well!!
If one partner has a much stronger sexual urge than the other.....it can become difficult....i do understand people seeking out others, why would anyone want to stay in a sexless marriage....where two people may have "outgrown" each other...
We move on...our needs change...
...but I still think its better to be honest, rather than deceive......
...that is what I shall do in the future, if I feel the need......
Midlife crisis....? Maybe some reach a stage where they take stock and wonder "what the hell have I been doing".....?
I don't think is has anything to do with Midlife.
People cheat when they are not getting what they need at home.
There are also men and women that are born preditors, and will never get enough notches in their belt. True love is not what drives them.
But any human that is treaded like shit at home, will probably be lead into infidelity. There are plenty of opportunities to cheat, but I can pass them up because my wife keeps me very busy at home, and she makes me feel like a king. She truely loves me , and I could never hurt her. But most married guys will tell you, the wedding ring is a magnet for those women out there that want a conquest. (that goes for both sexes). And if their wife are dishonoring them by belittling them, and finding all their faults, they will feel the desire to seek someone that will respect them.
Men and womens needs are different, and it is hard work to learn what they are, and then harder yet to allow ourselves to be selfless enough to give our partner what they really need and want.
My wife is awesome. I hope I am able to please her half as much as she pleases me.
Unless you spouse is a natuaral born pig, then it takes two to let it all fall apart.
I've always believed that it takes two to make a good marriage, but only one to make it bad.
I "cheated" at the very end of my first marriage, although it had been 12-15 years since we'd had sex, so I question if I was really cheating. What was I cheating my wife from? Certainly not sex, not love, not intimacy.
It could have been called a mid-life crisis, as I was in my late 40s, but it was more that I didn't want to leave the marriage while my kids were still at home. When they were moved out I didn't have much reason to stay with my wife. The only thing we had in common was assets. I let her have most of those -- family home, lake home, bank accounts, stocks, new sports car, etc. I mostly just kept my sanity, but I still feel it was a good trade.
Pardon me Cbrmale, but I think people who cheat are in fact, fuckheads. I've cheated in the past and when I did I was a fuckhead, and when I was cheated on he was a fuckhead. Also, this isn't to say that I wouldn't forgive if I was cheated on. It depends...
I realize that the circumstances are often more complicated, i.e.: Joe's sexless marriage.
I guess I just believe in monogamy, but I acknowledge that people are in no way perfect.
I'm not sure about the 'fuckhead' badge, or the midlife crisis one, if either are true, I wore both a long time before middle age, but none of my extra marital relationships threatened my marriage or later partnership, that was simply me squeezing as much sex as I could into my life with as many different women as possible.
Sanctimonious people leave me cold, get on with your lives and let others do as they see fit.
This is an open sex forum and preaching the gospel according to standards set in stone by the old Testament just don't sit right with me.
Do unto others as you would have done to you, sounds reasonable, but don't preach the gospel to me or anyone else who treads a path that you find obnoxious.
Do you think they make t.shirts with "I am a fuckhead" printed on them....
How are you Elvis dear.....long time, no speak?
Who's preaching the gospel here? Perhaps you should heed your own advice.
Why is Elvis preaching the gospel......i dont see that somehow.....????
He firstly has been honest about his own "colourful" past and hasnt come across as preachy.....has he?
Where do you see that Heel???