MENOPAUSE-heaven on earth!

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Rose, Mar 24, 2006.

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  1. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I just have one thing to say.

    Don't ever, EVER fear menopause (aka - "the change of life")

    Here are some good things about menopause: (more to come as I discover them)

    #1 (Numero Uno!!) (top reason) SEX WHENEVER YOU WANT IT!!!

    Other than that:
    No more stained undies... go ahead and splurge on those silks at Victoria's Secret!

    Neighbor's dogs don't attack your crotch once a month

    If you're bitchy - blame it on the fact that you simply ARE a bitch!

    No need to have 2 sizes of jeans - one for 'bloated weight' and one for normal weight.

    You can swim in shark infested waters, without fearing for your life.

    ....more to come

    :rose
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Oh - thought of one more...

    Never have to fear festivities where the only place to 'relieve' yourself is a Port-a-potty. There is no way to properly take care of feminine business in one of those.

    ...more to come...

    :rose
     
  3. Logger

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    Dear Rose,

    This is your latest thread that I found.

    Congratulations on your Spank Me Avatar. Really cute.

    I searched SF for MIV, but got not hits. I am curious about what is better than taking drugs and going to Rock Concerts?
     
  4. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Glory!!! I have found someone older than me!!! Don't feel bad, I have to get my glasses, just to see what I am eating at mealtime... LOL

    ...it's "M T V" - like in "Music Television".

    ... and it is NOT better than taking drugs and going to rock concerts! (In my humble opinion.. :brow )
     
  5. Logger

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    Obviously I will have to increase the magnification rating on my drug-store reading glasses, for my next purchase.
     
  6. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    ...but....not that this respectable Grandma takes drugs or goes to rock concerts, mind you....
    it's just an uneducated 'opinion' I have formed.... :eek:utahere
     
  7. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    :topic

    Never again must I sheepishly hand an EPT to the teenage drugstore clerk, and get that "PLEASE tell me this is not for YOU" look as she rings it up. :whoa
     
  8. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

    Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

    You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

    The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

    Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

    You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says "How's my driving-call 1-800-***-."

    Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

    You're convinced there's a God and he's male.

    You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus. But, hell! If you're in Menopause, who the hell cares?

    You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

    The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
     
  9. BiBiBaby

    BiBiBaby New Member

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    my 22 year old roommate is in hormone therapy induced menopause... she's not real happy about it i'll tell you that much. plus her docs have told her she's got less than 3 years to have kids of her own but when she goes off the hormones she's in too much pain
     
  10. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    wow- that's a shocker! I know they use hormone therapy for many female ailments. And I have heard of induced menopause.
    I make fun of it, because, at my age, it's a blessing! lol
    But that is sad for someone so young to be facing the possibility of not bearing children. - or having to decide too early to have them.
     
  11. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Your husband no longer shakes in terror when you ask him to stop at the drugstore for you. He KNOWS your not going to ask him to bring home a box of Kotex anymore. WHEW!
     
  12. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    If you're in a bad mood, you can always blame hormone imbalance issues... and everyone just steers clear. Makes for a very relaxing day, if you haven't had one for a while. :tup

    :rose
     
  13. Thorn

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    Cashier: *yells at top of his/her lungs*

    "Price check on TAMPONS, Isle 4!"

    :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
     
  14. RedMatrix

    RedMatrix Banned

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    topic:
    You don't have to pack a box of tampons while on a trip.
     
  15. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    LOL - Or a friggin box of Rubbers!!!
    :woohoo
     
  16. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Hot flashes suck, though.

    It's a dead give-away when you are in a restaurant. The A/C is cranked up. ... and there i am, fanning myself, like I just fell into hell itself.
    :eyes - menopause - sometimes "heaven" - sometimes "hell" :lol
     
  17. dojo

    dojo New Member

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    Rose, I like your ideas and posts regarding menopause. Many of us females are terrified with this time of our life, maybe because a lot of women that lived in the previous decades thought that menopause is like the end of your life as a woman. It's nice realising that there are indeed some good things about it and that life goes on in this situation too. We need to enjoy each step of our life, since everything can be good, once we learn to understand the situation and learn to live our lives.
     
  18. Jemrada

    Jemrada New Member

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    My mother started going through menopause just before I moved out. It kind of helped me make that desition. LOL
     
  19. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    LOL - that's what I mean. Women seem to be programmed to act bitchy when they don't have periods anymore. If anything, I became elated! :hyper
    Now, all my kids were gone already, but I noticed when I was perimenopausal, that my sexual desires were heightening. I thought, "Whoa - this is great!" (Thorn tended to agree).
    First thing on the agenda was to get and stay in shape. In 2 + years, I have lost about 50 pounds, (I had been 25 - 50 pounds overweight since my final baby was born) and have a regular physical fitness program that keeps my body mind and spirit in top notch condition. It's important to enter this part of ones life with confidence and positive self-image.
     
  20. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Okay, I just realized another reason that you may look forward to menopause.

    You know the old saying, "You can't run from the law."

    Hardy-Har-Har! Once you hit menopause, they'll never recognize you!

    Forget those pricey undercover disguises when trying to dodge that old warrant.

    Even your closest friends and family will not know that the new mustache and beard your sporting aren't real...
    that's because... IT IS REAL, DAMMIT!!!

    *off to the drugstore to buy a case of tweezers*
     
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