men? would you accept a women that is a swinger as a partner?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by lustydesire, Jul 8, 2014.

  1. lustydesire

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    touchy subject for me. i was recently in a relationship where it was open, everything was fine for a year then all of a sudden the man i was seeing got pissed at me for my lifestyle and dumped me without warning. when i confronted him on the issue he ignored the subject. i said i would have quit for him if he would have asked me but it made no difference in his decision. i dont understand why he never talked to me about it till he was past the point of no return. could you help me to understand why this happened.
     
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  2. backcheck64

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    For casual dating, a swinger may be OK, for a serious relationship, HELL NO. But I've been married for 26 yrs and monogamous for 31 so don't ask me. I've only felt the need to have others if something was missing from the relationship.
     
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  3. lustydesire

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    i see your point. but at the same time he could have talked to me about it before it got that far, plus i was new to the lifestyle and i was just trying it out to see if it was for me. and even tho i do enjoy the wild sexual side of it, it left me feeling incomplete and i had already started to drift away from it when this happened.
     
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  4. lbushwalker

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    I would not have any issue other than health and safety. The idea 0f sharing a partner I find quite arousing but could not do the threesome thing.
     
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  5. cbrmale

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    We can say 'yes we would' or 'no we wouldn't' but that depends on our take as to whether love = that person is your posession or not.

    If I loved a woman and she wanted to swing then I wouldn't have a problem with it. In your case there are two possibilites that come to mind. Did your SO also partake in swinging, and if so did he have any success? A beautiful woman such as yourself will always have the men lined up. The second is the end of your relationship may have been due to other issues, and your partner dumping you without talking through the problem he had suggests some communication issues.
     
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  6. lustydesire

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    well we started as fwb and yes we did have a few interactions with other people. but i ended up doing most of it on my own, with other women and men. and yes we both had our share of the lack of communication . but i was willing to work on it.
     
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  7. cbrmale

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    Maybe it wasn't meant to be with this, particular man. Also women tend to get more action than men, and you getting the action and he not might have festered into frustration. This is the one area where I have concerns about swinging unless it's pre-arranged couple-couple swinging, where you might contact another couple on the Web and then meet for coffee and a chat type of thing. I would be wary of free-for-all swingers clubs because the good-looking women get the attention and the men may be left high and dry.

    If my wife and I were to swing I would prefer the latter approach and be fully involved, then frustrations and jealousy cannot intrude.
     
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  8. EarthboundEnigma

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    I would accept it. The thing is about men...they can be quite selfish. He might've played a part in a sense to go along with your lifestyle but in the end, found himself getting jealous of your other partners. It is a hard thing to explain, how some people can hide their true natures and desires even from themselves
     
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  9. backcheck64

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    So sorry I take my vows seriously. My wife gets hit on all of the time, no jealously. I get hit on, she doesn't care. Just because neither of us have any desire for anyone else..... Again, if it was just a GF, not a problem, after you take vows, it's done.
     
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  10. 10_3XL

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    No, I wouldn't accept a swinger as a partner.
     
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  11. backcheck64

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    Ground rules should have been agreed on very early. In my dating years, I was running with as many as 6 at a time. The girls I went out with knew my reputation and apparently didn't have a problem with it. Never made any commitment to any of them, longest I ever dated anyone was 7 months... until I met my wife. I was a man whore, ask my daughter, apparently a couple of my daughters friends mothers knew a few of the girls I nailed. Was going strong until I met my wife... the right person changes everything. You haven't met him yet.
     
  12. johnnyangel694u

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    Swinging together, Yes. Separately, No.
     
  13. lustydesire

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    hinse why i had a change of view on the subject. at first i thought it would be exciting and a good way of finding the right people to bring into my life. but it was not the case. it actually pushed the person i cared about away. i still like to show off my body and get my mind wrapped up in the fantasies but i still need to act properly and not let it get out of hand.
     
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  14. 10_3XL

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    It wouldn't necessarily be unworkable - but you and your partner would have to be completely open and honest with one another if swinging were involved.
    To me: Showing off your body and enjoying fantasies are perfectly acceptable. But (again, just personal opinion) physically sharing yourself is questionable at best.
     
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  15. backcheck64

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    My wife dresses rather provocatively when just her and I go out. She turns some heads, I like it, and she works hard to keep that bod. But when it comes to actual sex, that's just between her and I.
     
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  16. lustydesire

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    this i agree about. too bad i didn't figure it out till it was too late.
     
  17. backcheck64

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    Tons of guys out there.
     
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  18. lustydesire

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    this is true, i've had several men come to me since my brake up that has been hopeful for a union with me. they had been waiting for the right opportunity to tell me. and all very nice respectable and would treat me well. only problem is i dont feel the right connection with them. i believe there has to be passion for the person im involved with as well as them being a good man.
     
  19. backcheck64

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    Oh there is something that clicks right off if it's the right person. I drove my friends up the wall, I only dated the cheerleader types, killer bods with the face to match, and when I was done with them, I'd move on... a couple of times in the same night. They'd kill to date them and I was dumping them for another. I heard "what the fuck is wrong with you, she was hot as hell" so many times. I couldn't make them understand there was more to it than just looks, but the looks had to be there. Then one night at a dance, I met my wife and that all changed. Knew right off. But I went through a lot of women to find her. Keep looking and when you're not expecting it, you'll find him.
     
  20. NedF

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    Probably not, I got burned once by a woman who cheated on me with a couple of swingers. The 3 of them kept it hidden for a few weeks, but I got suspicious and after catching her I had to cut her loose! She was a rebound relationship after my 18 year marriage ended, so it was a little hard to take.

    I know you can't judge everyone the same, but keeping the emotions in check might end up being a problem.
     
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