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Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by fireontheside, May 12, 2013.
The title of this thread says it all.
As far as I know you can't fake ejaculation.
Right, but men can and do fake orgasms. Body motions, making sounds and so on. Sometimes, for whatever reason--stress, not in the mood, whatever--an orgasm is just not going to happen, so they want to just get it over with as soon as possible, and fake orgasms happen. I guess to spare a partner's feelings.
Am I weird in that I really would prefer honesty? I wouldn't be hurt if I was with someone and they didn't orgasm. I mean, I'd think I was pretty shitty at sex, but I would acknowledge "hey, I need to change something."
People need to be less oversensitive about orgasms not happening, then people wouldn't feel the need to fake it.
Ok then. Never happened to me.
It happens. People do it. Just have sex for a long enough period to fill (whatever) with pre-seminal fluid.
I've never done it personally but I know guys that have and the reasoning varies from being turned off by some women's sexual preferences that the man is not comfortable with to just not being in the mood
I've done it. not hard to hide if you are wrapped, just hop up and head off to dispose of the condom.
first time was after a long stessfull day, wasnt in the mood (it can happen) hell was all I could do to stay hard. she was bent over, after about 5-10 min faked, pulled out, went straight to bathroom, pulled off condom, and crawled back in bed.
she was pissy for lack luster performance. dont remember what I said, but know I was asleep soon after. I made up for it couple days later.
This almost seems disturbing in a way. If a man wasn't in the mood, I would never try to pressure him or coerce him into having sex with me.
Sorry to get controversial, but I honestly think sometimes behavior that men would never get away with, SOME women think is okay. There's also this strange assumption that men are "always in the mood" (no idea where this idea comes from) which unfortunately can play into a kind of thinking that is kind of a rapist mentality.
I've never had sex myself, but HONESTLY. I sometimes think my attitudes about it are healthier than people who have. It seems so basic to me. Don't pressure your partner into sex. Don't expect orgasms. Don't make your partner uncomfortable. People need to be able to just be. If they can't have an orgasm, they can't, don't be an asshole about it. If they don't want sex, they don't want it. Don't be an asshole and whine and complain and guilt them into having sex with you. If your partner has a "lackluster performance," don't be an asshole about it.
*shakes head* wow. Just...wow.
I haven't done it but I've thought about it. Sometimes...it just doesn't happen for me, same as most of you girls I'd wager. When things just keep dragging on and you're just never going to finish, you start to want it to stop after a while.
We're not always ready to go I guess would be the best way to put it.
Is it really the end of the world if someone doesn't have an orgasm? People make such a huge deal about it that it almost seems like they can't just relax and enjoy the sex. Anxiety actually hinders sexual pleasure and orgasm. People need to just relax and go with the flow more when it comes to sex.
I think this could be a problem a lot with having sex with someone you barely know, which is why I sometimes balk at the idea of casual sex, simply for that reason.
Also, if something embarrassing, like farting, happens with someone you don't know that well, they'll be totally repulsed.
I have on a few occasions, been unable to orgasm (usually due to taking decongestants), but I have never tried to fake it. Since I have already given my partner at least one orgasm orally before this point, I usually just give up exhausted... I still enjoy the journey to this point, and don't let it get into my head as I know its the drug and not my ability to finish the job.
Well....you CAN have an orgasm without ejaculation....believe it or not the two things are separate events, that almost always occur simultaneously . But they don't have to. With practice you can do it.
As far as "faking" one....I guess I have....but not for any of the reasons given by the others that have. Sometimes after a long session, if I have already cum a few times, and I feel that she is beginning to get sore, ( and that she won't orgasm again herself) ...basically it's time to stop but rather than looking her in the face and saying " lets go ahead and quit now"....I'll simply give a couple of hard final trusts and quit....as Long as you've both climaxed previously, who cares if The guy ends with another one....?
People in western society are very orgasm and performance oriented this puts undu pressure on men and women. women are known to fake it and so do men because we feel we are failures sexually if we dont. Feelings of
inadequacy are apparent when in fact we need to learn how to orgasm and not be afraid to learn and grow. People fake it also when they are not enjoying it.
I think this is SO unhealthy.
i wouldnt say unhealthy. bit of an exaggeration there i think :ugh
It is. If someone has an orgasm, they have one. If they don't, they don't. People need to be okay with someone not having an orgasm, as long as they're overall enjoying themselves during sex.
Never did it, and probably never will. BTW there was a Seinfeld episode where this was one of the big jokes that came up.
I've never faked it. It can happen as a result of both high frequency (like the 3rd time in a day) and my wife's wetness. When it happens I'll just let my wife know, and we'll take a break. Bunnie feels bad when it happens, as if she is "demanding" too much from me. But if it happens, I don't sweat it. Usually a break for several hours and another go and everything is fine. There is also the added "bonus" of Bunnie wanting me to orgasm so she wants to do whatever I want to make that happen.
Feeling bad when someone has an orgasm is not a mindset I would want to have. As long as I know I'm not bad in bed, I would just let things be what they are. I think it's easier for people to have orgasms when they're not under pressure to have them.
There were nights when my girlfriend pressured me into sex that turned out to be some of the best nights of my life. Your statements about what people should and should not do are not based on experience. They're based on the your way of thinking, the very way of thinking that has prevented you from ever having sex.
On any given night (if I were in a relationship), I would want to make my girlfriend happy. Even if I wasn't in the mood for sex, if I saw that she was, I would make my best effort to perform well for her. There have been times I have pretended to not be in the mood, and then made her feel like she was so irresistible that she could get me in the mood anytime she wanted, (which has been true in the past). I also have faked orgasms, and I'm sure over the years orgasms have been faked on me. So what? I don't see a problem in your idea of being honest if you can't orgasm on a given night (if you feel like it's the best thing for your situation), so why do you see a problem with me faking an orgasm (if I feel like it's the best thing for my situation)?
Maybe it would help if you could shed some negative energy. Instead of focusing so much on what bothers you, post a thread about what makes you happy.