Melodramatic Post

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by CleaverFace, Jul 24, 2012.

  1. CleaverFace

    CleaverFace New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2012
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    I know what I'm known for around here and what is expected from me (aside from absence as the current scorecard shows) but I've had something on my mind. It may be a mistake sharing this story, but I somehow feel I'll feel better.

    I had been with a woman for a little while before I joined the military. It was pretty serious, we had moved in together and in retrospect, I feel we worked really well together. While I don't believe in "the one", her and I functioned.

    Our sex life declined suddenly and sharply. She found being touched to be irritating to the point where we'd sit far apart. It wasn't just our sex life that suffered, we both knew there was a problem, but we couldn't identify it. We split up.

    About two weeks later she calls me, tells me to meet her at the parking lot outside the university where we met. She was pregnant. She had been pregnant for a while, which explained why she was so irritable.

    I took her to dinner to talk it over, and while I was terrified and freaking out, I said I would raise the child with her. While part of me was much too terrified to process what I had just agreed to, the other part felt it was the right thing to do. She unfortunately didn't want me in the picture. She told me my plan was not going to work, and that she'd much prefer to raise the child with her parents. I tried to convince her to stay, but before I knew it, she was gone to the United States.
     
  2. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA
    Just wanna say sorry for what u must be going thru....I don't even know what to say at the moment....
     
  3. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,964
    Likes Received:
    5,077
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    The way things are these days one fine day in the future someone may tap you on the shoulder and say; "hi Daddy".
    By then you might not welcome that intrusion.....or you might be over the moon; kind of depends when and what you end up doing and being.
    It is both touching and sad as you were prepared to play your part in bringing up that child which is half of you.
    Cudos dude.
     
  4. Splendid_Thoughts

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2011
    Messages:
    1,639
    Likes Received:
    2,464
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    South East Australia
    ^^^ What he said. No idea what to say... *hugs*
     
  5. CleaverFace

    CleaverFace New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2012
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    Thank you all, I still don't really know what to do about it.
     
  6. stephen

    stephen Member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2012
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Just take some time for yourself and let yourself slowly evaluate your predicument and break it all down and figure all your options. I had a former girlfriend whom I had a girl with leave out of the blue for her ex. She left me with my 1 year old and 2 of her kids to run for three days. The third day I got a lawyer and got full custody of my daughter, whom is now 22 years old. Things will fall in place for you just dont jump to fast, walk through it with your heart and gut. Hope this helps.
     
  7. pbs

    pbs
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    881
    Likes Received:
    441
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northeast
    I know doing nothing is pretty hard to do right now, but you may want to let some time pass and see if she doesn't contact you, or maybe you could try to contact her, at least to let her and her parents know that you are still interested. She is probably in something of a panic right now, and running away to be with her parents may seem appropriate, but having a child together kind of joins you and her emotionally, and she may come to her senses eventually. Her parents may be your best asset at this point because they are going to be more objective about this than she is, and she and you getting back together is a better outcome than her being a single parent relying on her parents, or trying to find another man while she has a child. Just a thought.
     
  8. nomiwaheed

    nomiwaheed New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2012
    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    pakistan
    You did what a gentleman should do, not many men show that kind of commitment in these days (inclusive me).