Meds mean No Sex

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by bcuzbcuz, Mar 27, 2008.

  1. bcuzbcuz

    bcuzbcuz New Member

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    Ever since being prescribed Cymbalta to treat my serious depression our sex life, for my wife and I, has been destroyed.

    Cymbalta doesn't lessen sex drive or even make an erection difficult, it just makes an ejaculation for a man nearly impossible. However, as you well may imagine, the lack of an ejaculation can definitely effect sex drive.

    If anyone has had similar experiences I, (we) would greatly your input. My erection can last for a very considerable time, even though I'm over 60, I just want suggestion that will bring our love making to a good conclusion.
     
  2. Barbwire

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    Have you talked to your doctor about this and has he offered you any other treatment options?

    Are you able to orgasm without ejaculation? Personally, I wouldn't mind if my husband could come without spurting, it would eliminate the messy clean up, afterwards.
     
  3. Bluesy

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    SSRIs and SNRIs are notorious for causing anorgasmia (SSRIs more so). This leaves the older and generally more troublesome classes of antidepressants to choose from, but there is one modern AD that will not cause sexual side-effects, and that is Wellbutrin. Ask your doc if he/she can switch you to it. If your doc doesn't want to switch you, a small dose of Wellbutrin is sometimes prescribed in addition to an SSRI/SNRI to counteract the sexual side-effects.

    I can direct you to site replete with good info about psych meds if you like. Just shoot me a PM.

    Good luck and keep us updated!
     
  4. ReddLicALot

    ReddLicALot New Member

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    My wife was on a SNRI briefly, and the sexual side effects for her were often somewhat nerve wracking. I'm going to agree with Bluesy above, however, the Wellbutrin solved 95% of those problems, until she was taken off the SNRI, and then weaned off the Wellbutrin. Talk to your doctor, and don't be afraid to get a second or third opinion. You can give the same symptoms and history to 10 different docs, and you'd be likely to get slightly different treatment plans and even diagnosis' would differ. You may also want to make sure that you also consult with a doc who specializes in sexual therapy as well, they may have seen something similar.
     
  5. FlirtyChick

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    I have been on the maxiumum dose of the SSRI Celexa (Citalopram) for years, and have never had any sexual side effects. I am a woman, however, and sexual dyfunction and inability to reach orgasm are two of the side effects listed on the prescribing information for this drug, so it may affect you differently. This is an older drug than Cymbalta. It may be worth mentioning to your doctor to see if this is a viable drug for you. I can vouch for both posters above who suggested Wellbutrin to compliment the Cymbalta. When I have my med checks my doc always mentions that if I am having sexual or other problems related to my medication that he can prescribe Wellbutrin.

    Hope you find a solution!
     
  6. bcuzbcuz

    bcuzbcuz New Member

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    To Cowboy lover: I only wish I could climax with or without an ejaculation. We make love and our love making is enjoyable....to a certain point. My wife can climax but for me it feels like climbing a mountain without ever reaching the top, in fact, I keep climbing but I don't even get the top in sight.

    I just want a solution. Hell, I'D Even sleep on the wet spot.
     
  7. bcuzbcuz

    bcuzbcuz New Member

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    To FlirtyChick: Thanx for your reply. I was on Celexa but it had the same side effects, for me, as Zoloft. I yawned continually, sweated and had zero sexual drive...and the side effects continued after I stopped the medication. But I will check out Wellbutrin
     
  8. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    I don't have any experience of the drug or its side effects. But from what I can understand from your post you're able to ejaculate it just takes you longer. By the way if you masturbate does it take you less or more time to come?

    I have been with guys that sometime have taken quite a while to finish and after a while its just too much to keep going vaginally so I've tried different things.

    -pinching or causing a little pain, I know it sounds kind of s&m i've just found it causes a guy to tense up when he's inside and just generally get more excited.

    -mutual masturbation if you've already done the business and made your wife cum there's nothing wrong with it and sometime it's quite intimite. One guy used to get off my rubbing himself against my bra or knickers the dry feeling of the fabric would get him off quite quickly

    - oral sex, if its hard to endure vaginal sex anymore thats usually the next alternative but again it can take ages

    -Sometime I let my husband go into me a bit early when I'm still dry, I can't really push this as a solution cause I'll be honest it hurts. But if a guys already part of the way there he'll finish in a fraction of the time. though myself in less than a minute I'll either have become wet or I'll have to stop

    Anyway those are just a few of my experiences I hope everything works out.
     
  9. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Get 2nd and 3rd opinions!

     
  10. cbrmale

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    JuicyB,
    I was waiting for someone to talk about depression medications. I was firmly opposed to them well before the recent research showing the majority of medications have the same impact as a placebo. It depends on your take on depression, but to me having lived with someone who was chronically depressed, it was clear that it was events in her past and not a brain chemical imbalance that was the issue. I researched this in those days, when therapy and ECT were the two common therapies, and the research I did for a major assignment made me even more certain of the cure for depression. Even the so-called genetic link is just as likely caused by the impact of being raised by someone who is melacholic or manic depressive; either of these conditions do not make for a normal upbringing. I know this by personal experience.

    Recent research shows that going to the doctor and talking about the problem in order to get a prescription is the key, not what is on the prescription form. In other words, old-fashioned therapy is the cure, albeit that it takes time and can be emotionally painful.
     
  11. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    There are many different forms of depression. And despite a lot of the recent fears about various medications its still acknowledged that some forms are a result of chemical imbalance. I think people should have confidence in their doctor, people undergoing therapy shouldn't feel they need to second guess their doctor.
     
  12. bcuzbcuz

    bcuzbcuz New Member

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    To Sarah rslp: I've tried a number of sites with my questions but haven't received as many responses as here. I really appreciate that you have taken time to answer.

    No, my problem is not taking a long time to finish, it's just no finish at all. And this all started the very same day I started Cymbalta. And now I'm into the seventh month. We (my wife and I) have tried everything!

    The pinching, I'm surprised to find, I quite enjoy. Mutual masturbation always worked in the past but now it only creates "carpet burn" on my penis. My wife finds it just as enjoyable as in the past, but it doesn't work for me.

    Oral sex, 69 preferrably, has always been a favourite for us. Again, she enjoys it, I enjoy it, she cums, I don't.

    My doctor has said that the meds inhibit the stimulation that brings erousal up to climax. We've visited a variety of counsellors, a sex therapist, a urologist and so far the best advice has been here.

    To JuicyB: I agree with you. Sex is the best medicine but Viagra (cialis) only helps with an erection, not with a climax. But to tell you the truth my recurring depressions don't get any better when sex is without a climax.
     
  13. bcuzbcuz

    bcuzbcuz New Member

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    Just a side note. Depression isn't always a matter of a chemical imbalance, nor genetics, nor an imagined darkness equally as well treated by a placebo. I respect that some people feel depressions are of minor importance, that all that's needed is a kindly soul to talk to but I respectfully object.

    The death of my first wife, 15 years ago, and the resulting depression and the death of my son, 2 years ago, and the following depression are not things that go away by merely a friendly conversation or group therapy or even by medication.

    Cymbalta, despite the nightly sweats, despite the continual yawning that finally went away and despite the inability to climax which is now into its seventh month, is still a worthwhile drug. It's not a happy pill, it doesn't make problems go away, but it does give my mind a chance to gain perspective. The short explanation is that when a serious depression hits the depressed person sees everything in blacks and whites. A good medication gives back a multitude of shades of grey. Decisions aren't easier, just given perspective.

    Despite the side effects of Cymbalta, I'll still use it until an equally effective treatment comes along.
     
  14. Tommyhot

    Tommyhot Member

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    I've been on Lexapro for 2 years and it really delays orgasms. Pisses me off sometimes. I got to really pump like a mental case to orgasm. I take it for anxiety/panic attacks. I took Paxil before that, same thing.

    If I am really horny the effect is less.
     
  15. bsxy420

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    i know all about having problems with zoloft. i still suffer from the side effects and ive been off it atleast 6 months. i have a low sex drive thanks to that medication. when i was on it i was very quiet (not me at all) and pretty much wanted nothing to do with sex.
     
  16. bcuzbcuz

    bcuzbcuz New Member

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    Yes, I heard that Lexapro caused similar orgasm delays. Cymbalta not only delays the orgasm it removes the feeling of build up. Us guys know there is a certain "point of no return" that comes just before orgasm and ejaculation. But before that point there is an unmistakable build up that says an orgasm is on the way. It's a tightening of muscles, a rush of warmth to the pelvis, a heightening of enjoyment that will undeniably lead to an orgasm, regardless if the doorbell rings, your mother phones or the kids open the bedroom door.

    Cymbalta not only cuts off the orgasm it doesn't even let me dip my toes into the pools of pleasure of the build up. After a while I began thinking, why even bother toying with the idea of sex. What's the use of setting oneself up for another failure?
     
  17. cbrmale

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    I understand a bit about depression, although I have never been chronically depressed myself. When my health failed and I ended up with a partial disability (severe pain and lack of coordination on my legs), I went through a grieving process of anger, denial, depression, bargaining and acceptance. At the time, I didn't know why I was angry, depressed and so on, and it was only later when I was researching for something else did I discover. However, I fought the depression off, given the problems I saw with my mother.

    My mother had a domineering mother of her own, and she also had demons in her past that would make a bad soap opera script were they not true. Trying to deny what happened to her, and what was continually happening to her, merely bottled her emotions up until she brought on a physical issue that was followed by several years of melancholic depression, suicide attempts and the like. It was hard for me as I was age 11 through 17 when this was happening. Medications weren't available, so she had a combination of therapy and ect.

    I think you dismiss therapy rather lightly, because it can work but it is HARD work. A good psychologist can give you things to do (brain exercises) that will help, but you have to put a lot of yourself into those exercises to get an outcome. The brain gets re-wired by unpleasant events, and what you have to do is change the circuitry back the way it was. But during the process the brain re-wires itself again to the depressed state, so it is two steps forward, one and a half back, two forward, two back, one forward, half back...

    I recognise depression because I lived with it, and if the chemical theory is true then I am at risk. So when it comes on (I have had some other serious health issues since my initial outbreak and continue to so so), I fight it off. Self-therapy if you like.

    But this isn't helping the here and now, except to say that there are alternatives, and many of us have gone through awful personal experiences, and come out of it without medications.
     
  18. Bluesy

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    There is plenty enough research to support the theory that some people are genetically predisposed to developing neurochemical imbalances, which trigger disorders such as depression (and what a vague catch-all term that is, considering how many depressive disorders there are). It's arrogant and ignorant, to say the least, to dismiss anyone's depression as entirely situationally motivated. And, no, we are not going to debate this subject.
     
  19. FlirtyChick

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    Depression is a serious illness that can be genetic in nature, attributed to a chemical imbalance, linked to trauma, etc. Therapy by a certified specialist who can treat depression is absolutely crucial to those of us who suffer from the disease, but medication should not be discounted as part of that therapy, even if it is prescribed as a standalone treatment.

    A person who has never been diagnosed with depression does not fully understand the problems, feelings, and stigma associated with the disease, period. (Tom Cruise need not post here!)

    The OP seems to have problems with the drugs he is taking as they relate to sexual performance, which is very common, and if the issue is the result of medication side-effect, therapy will not solve the problem. I hope that he finds a way to work out this issue!
     
  20. MrFusion

    MrFusion New Member

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    I've been taking Lexapro for about a month now. I've been having some issues with my gut and I was getting really anxious about it, so my doc gave me the Lexapro. Just for informational purposes, I'm in my mid-late twenties and I'm male in, generally fair health with a few extra pounds I'd love to shed.

    I was actually perscribed it about 2 months ago and took the starter pack for a week at 10mg. Within the first week, I believe I actually started to feel different, but the sexual side effects sucked. I still got horny, aroused, hard, I desired sex, but it took me about three times as long to orgasm and it just didn't feel as good. It almost felt like those days when I've already had two or three orgasms. They just get progressively less intense.


    So I told my doctor and he said that I could cut it in half. I was really apprehensive about trying it again as I really enjoy having sex with my fiance. However, I kept an open mind and decided to give it another try. So down to 5mg it was.

    Well, the sexual side effects came back late in the first week, however not as pronounced. Now It's week three or four (I honestly forget..) and I kind of just noticed yesterday that honestly, I just don't feel like having sex. Usually,at least once a day I'll get to thinking about sex with my fiance, anticipating what might happen at night, etc.. and get an erection. Not this last week. Honestly, we had sex on Wednesday (for the first time in about a week..) and I don't think I've been hard since. I just have no desire. I mean, sure, I WANT to have sex, but I just don't have the desire. I think about sex, but it just doesn't sound good. It's analagous to seeing your favorite meal sitting on the table for the taking just after you ate Thanksgiving dinner - You're already full and just have no desire to eat it. I used to try and have sex or take care of business at least every other day, if not every day.

    My doctor also prescribed Busiprone <sp?> on the same visit I told him about the sexual side effects. He said it would help calm down my gut as well, but I got home and did some Googlinig on the drug and it seems that it is prescribed to a lot of people in conjunction with SSRIs. A lot of people reported that this medication reversed the sexual side effects of the SSRI, and actually made some people a little MORE desirous of sex. I think this may be the reason that he gave it to me. I had it filled, but I never actually started taking it. I also read of some issues with people just becoming numb to events (i.e. some guy almost killed himself running a red light on accident and just didn't feel anything afterward.)

    Personally, I'm not a huge fan of taking pills of any type. Usually if I have a headache I'll try and tough it out. I don't like the idea of taking one anti-depressant / anti-anxiety medicine let alone cocktail of two or more medicines that mess with my emotions. I'm hoping I can get off of this medication sooner rather than later.

    I also read of people taking an SSRI break that helps with sex. Lets say you anticipate some sexual activity on Sunday. I read where this person would stop taking their SSRI on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Have sex on Sunday, then start back up. I know sometimes I don't know if I'm going to have sex in 20 minutes let alone four days, but if you can work it out with your partner it might work. (Note: I am not a doctor, nor do I advocate this. Talk to your doctor before starting, stopping or changing your intake of medicine.)