maybe asking too much?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by cabbage, Oct 20, 2010.

  1. cabbage

    cabbage New Member

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    this is very odd for me to talk about publicly, but I am having a difficult time getting my significant other to respond to my advances. there is an age difference and everything, but I dont think that it would cause any issues in that area because he masturbates quite frequently and that works for him. But when it actually comes down to having sex he puts it off. I know he isnt cheating because he spends a lot of time with me and we live together. I just dont know what to do. I also cant get him to ejaculate which has become quite damaging to my self esteem I guess because I feel I am doing something inadequate in that department. Is it because he has become comfortable with pleasing himself? or that I am doing something wrong?
     
  2. Meee

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    Hi. Sometimes I start by answering a question with some questions.

    How long have you been in the relationship?
    Do you live together?
    What is the age difference?
    How do you know about his masturbating?
    What does he say when he puts off having sex?
     
  3. cabbage

    cabbage New Member

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    been dating for a while, yes we live together, about eight years. have seen/heard a few of the times he has. and he finds excuses not to have sex.
     
  4. Ready2Please

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    Was he always like this. Not wanting to have sex? Wow... I wouldn't want to be with someone that long if he wasn't interested in sex with me. I'm sorry but if we aren't married and he isn't interested in having sex with me. Or at least willing to try things then that is a deal breaker for me.


    Sorry don't mean to be harsh but for me I need sex in my life along with my baseball and working out. But sex ,love and communication is what makes the relationship.

    Does he know how you feel?
     
  5. Meee

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    Have him masturbate for you.
     
  6. SWGirl

    SWGirl New Member

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    I'm so glad someone else was thinking this too. Sometimes I feel like its just me. You get to see what he does to himself that he really likes AND a show. Sign me up.
     
  7. cabbage

    cabbage New Member

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    I thought he was just shy at first. But its kinda aggrevating if you know what I mean. But I will take your advice and have him do that for me. Thanks guys.
     
  8. HardRocker

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    Maybe the two of you could try masturbating together, watching each other. That might be a way to start getting back on the same track sexually.
     
  9. luckyduck

    luckyduck New Member

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    I have a hard time finishing because I can get distracted easily. I know it sounds ridiculous, but sometimes I get distracted and I just can't finish. My ex was a screamer, and I mean a LOUD screamer. She screamed so loud that I would have to hold back my tears from laughter. The other thing that can make it hard to finish is drugs/ alcohol. Are either of those a factor?
     
  10. SWGirl

    SWGirl New Member

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    The two of who?...:shifty
     
  11. cabbage

    cabbage New Member

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    ?
    Alright will do for him too. :)

    and no alchol isnt a factor but maybe his depression meds
     
  12. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

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    Depression meds messed up my fiancee's sex drive quite a few years ago. It got to the point that nobody could get anywhere near her, without her snapping. When I finally convinced her to get a second opinion, she found out that the first doctor was not only practically overdosing her with the prescription, along with the fact that there was no logical reason for the prescription in the medical records. I will say that ever since she stopped taking that medication, our life together has improved drastically.
     
  13. HardRocker

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    Cabbage and her boyfriend, silly girl.:eyes
     
  14. Atlantico

    Atlantico New Member

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    So, let me get this straight: your ex screamed loud, and you couldnĀ“t do but laugh? Where you minimally enjoying the sex, as a screamer is always a turn on!
     
  15. cabbage

    cabbage New Member

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    day one of mastrubating together worked out great. gona try it for a while and see where it leads. thanks guys. :)
     
  16. HardRocker

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    Be sure to give him as much visual exposure as you can. Guys are visually turned on much more than women are. I can't imagine not wanting to dive in for some pussy if I was watching my girl masturbate. Even if I was having a spell of low libido.
     
  17. SteveWaste

    SteveWaste New Member

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    I caught my girl once in the living room when I came home. She was embarassed at first, but after all I said was, "Wow"... she pointed at the armchair and told me to "Have a seat" while I watched and listened to her. Incredible sex followed.

    HardRocker's right on the money.

    ~Steve
     
  18. luckyduck

    luckyduck New Member

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    Some screaming is a turn on, but she went over the top. Most of the time she had to finish me off orally because her screaming was so hilarious to me.
     
  19. Mittimer

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    The moment my S.O laughed at me while having an orgasm, I would leave the room. End of story.
     
  20. Meee

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    When we have an orgasm, we're letting down so many barriers. I can see how someone laughing would be pretty bad.

    I don't actually scream, but I grunt and groan dramatically. The boyfriend's eyes get big, and he might chuckle a little afterward, but it's mainly from being impressed. So I don't mind.