Masturbation Question

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Sexi_Kitten08, Feb 21, 2008.

  1. Sexi_Kitten08

    Sexi_Kitten08 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2008
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Ohio
    Okay, so I have a question:

    My name is Jennifer, i'm 18, and I really ned ideas.

    I masturbate about 2 or 3 times a week, but the only way I've found for me to orgasm is if i lay in the tub with the shower on it massage setting. I let the water run on my pussy and orgasm in just a minute or two. However I am getting tired of it and need something different to help orgasm.

    Any ideas?
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    6,823
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dixie Land
    Adult toys... such as vibrators that center on the clit.... dildos..... all can be used in the comfort of the bedroom, watching TV, whatever.

    Go to the top right hand side of the page on :sf, and click on STORE.

    On the left side, click on toys..... and happy shopping!!!

    If you have any questions about anything, just ask us. We're always ready to help a woman discover herself!!
     
  3. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    366
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    south of england
    You know without sounding flip you might just consider finding a bloke as substitute for wanking. Picking a name like sexi_kitten kind of implies you have some pretty straight forward desires and I don't think masturbation is going to be the most satisfying resolution. I've said it before a second class shag is better than a first class wank. To me masturbation is something you do when sex just isn't an option.

    It's always struck me as being a kind of lonely empty thing. I'm not bi-sexual but I've turned to same sex sexual acts with mates,as being preferable to mastubation (although they were mainly just mutual masturbation, but actually being with a person even if its a woman makes all the difference) at the end of the day sex needs two people.
     
  4. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    6,823
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dixie Land
    I would have to humbly disagree with Sarah. Masturbation is a wonderful tool - especially for a woman. It allows her to explore her body and discover those areas of pleasure, so that if and when she is ready to engage in sex with an SO, she is equipped with some knowledge of herself, in order to share that info with her partner. The OP is only 18, and hence is quite possibly desiring some first-hand (no pun intended :lol ) experiences without all the entanglements of a relationship (and even "Friends with Benefits" can get ugly).

    I say, go for it!
    --------------------------
    And on a personal note, I kinda' like the name "sexyKitten...". Around here, one would almost be expected to choose a screen name with a sexual conotation, regardless of one's sexual prowess (or lack thereof) :shrug
    -but again , that's just my opinion... no big deal.
     
  5. Dreama

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,890
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with Rose on this one. I love my husband, and I love sex. But, sometimes, I like going it alone..without anyone but myself.
     
  6. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    366
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    south of england
    just to start off I didn't intend any criticism of sexy kittens nickname. I did get the impression from her post and her choice of nickname that here was someone gagging for a shag, but maybe I'm way off.

    I think in recent years female masturbation has come to be seen as a liberating experience all that stuff about getting to know yourself and exploration and such, you can refer to the previous post for a more articulate explanation. Don't misunderstand me I have masturbated, I've gone through long periods of time where sex wasn't an option (even though there were men all around) and i turned to masturbation pretty quickly.

    You know for all the attempts to make long baths with scented candles and vibrators classy and appealing for me it just doesn't do anything, I'm not trying to sound flippant but I'd prefer a drunken shag against a wall outside a nightclub. Not because that's neccessarily my scene but because at least it's sex with another human being. He may be a drunken dickhead who you'll never speak to again, but at least you're interacting with someone, experiencing something, and not living in your head while you finger yourself. So by all means Jennifer wank off in the bath, and it might even be great for you but if it's just you in there then, it doesn't matter how you dress it up you're missing out on something big.
     
  7. Dreama

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,890
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    I don't think you are missing out on a thing by exploring yourself. I know that this may necessarily be your preference, but I don't think that by turning down a drunken fuck by a guy I don't care about is better than being by myself. I love myself, more than any other can, and I can treat myself better than anyone else.
     
  8. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    366
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    south of england
    Feel free to aim a bit higher than a drunken open air shag. I just think its better for someone else to do the exploring.

    You know talking about exploring yourself and pampering yourself in the bath with the candles and what not. I'd just prefer if there was a bloke there. Now i know in reality it probably wouldn't be nearly as easy as doing it by yourself. There'd be lots of trouble getting him into the bath with you, elbows and knees everywhere, there might be a few bruises, and burns if you stick with the candles. He probably wouldn't be into it but only going along cause your threatened him and he knew it was his only chance of a shag , there probably would be shouting if he used the opportunity to put his hands somewhere he shouldn't. And the whole thing probably wouldn't happen like you imagined. And the sex when it did come might make you appreciate your bed more.

    And it all sounds so much more sexier to me than whats been described previously
     
  9. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    Sarah, last I heard my finger can't give me VD or knock me up...unlike your drunk in the alleyway. So, are you telling this young woman that sex with a stranger, in a dangerous situation, is better than masturbating? Really? You have some very strange ideas. Flippant? You define the word.

    Now, back to the OP....

    I've been making self love since I was 4 and getting off since I was 6. I never sat down and wrote them all out, but I bet I have masturbated to orgasm over a hundred different ways. Here are a few that come (nice pun, eh?) to the top of my head.

    - In the shower with the shower massage, but also using a dildo to stroke into myself. What I do is, use the water pressure on my clit til I'm almost ready to go, take the water away and pump the dildo until the orgasm fades, then reapply the water. Repeat as needed for a leg buckling orgasm.

    - On my back, I use fingers on my clit and a small, well, lubed dildo in my ass. I don't stroke it as much as jiggle it just as I'm about to come. WOW, is all I can say.

    - Try using your fingers in a different way. My very first digital o's came from me using my two index fingers and holding my clit between them, then kind of using them like a man would use his hand on his shaft. It's a bit intense, but brings on a decent orgasm.

    - Vibrators are great, and I find the Hitachi Magic Wand to be the best. Do a search under them here and you will hear lots of good things.

    - Try leaning into the corner of a washing machine on a spin cycle. It doesn't work for me now, but as a kid it about made me pass out from sheer pleasure.

    - Here's one I discovered just a few days ago. Get a pair of those exfoliating gloves that health and beauty stores sell. They are rough enough to really stimulate your clit and your nipples, and the best part is, you can use them wet, dry, or with lubricants.

    - Yet another new technique I just discovered, get on all fours on your couch and lean over one of the arm rests so your nipples are being squished. As you finger yourself, rock back and forth so the upholstery rubs your nipples. Our couch's fabric is a bit course, and the feel of it, combined with the pressure on my nipples, really amps me up.

    - Masturbating in "unusual" places can be a real turn on. I've done it in my truck, at my old job, on my horse, at friend's houses when I was staying over...heck, I even did it at my grandmother's a few times. Naughty? Yes, HOT? Oh yeah, babee!

    - If you have a pushmower, mow the lawn, slip behind a shed or tree and ride the vibe. Please note: Do NOT try this with a weedwhacker. Don't ask me how I know it's not a good idea, just trust me on this.

    I have a lot more, but I'm a bit under the weather, so I'm taking a break. If I can, I'll add more, later.

    Oh, and welcome to SF, love the name.
     
  10. Dreama

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,890
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    If that's your personal preference, more power to you, Sarah. :) I hope you don't think I was insinuating that I don't LOVE sex. Because I do, and I do love having sex with the hubby. I'd do it as many times a day as I could, if I had the time! But, I do think that being with myself can definitely be a treat.
     
  11. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    366
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    south of england
    Oh here we go again...

    Can I just start of by saying I did not criticize sexi_kittens nickname, I just drew some inferences from it which I think was fair and I explained my reasoning behind them.

    Drunken sex in an alleyway doesn't preclude the use of a condom, so I don't see the location having any effect on std transmission. The example was also an extreme one chosen to emphasise a point. Like I said in a subsequent post she should feel free to be a bit more ambitious in her sexual experiences but drunken shags do have their place. All i meant was a drunken shag is a more meaningful experience than masturbation simply because you're interacting with another person.

    I'll use your euphamism of self love. I just see it as a completly empty act. I also think it's addictive once people start using it as a substitute for sex some can just spend hours locked away in their room by themselves.
     
  12. Dreama

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,890
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    Perhaps that's happened to you, but I engage in a little 'self-love' every now and then, and it's never resulted in me turning into a self-obsessed hermit....Plus, sex causes people to lock themselves in their rooms for hours. What's the difference?
     
  13. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    366
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    south of england

    Well I suppose if you thats what you need to believe, to understand my distaste of mastubation off you go. As for the difference one is you're alone in your room wanking the other is you're having sex with someone. Anywhoo...

    I think I've done my best to articulate a point of view other than the glorious self love one that seems to be the consensus,if anybody would care to read my whole post before stabbing an angry retort into their keyboard.

    I do think some people have problems with dissenting opinions.
     
  14. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    What we have a problem with is negativity. Do you realize that in the short time you've been here you've attacked, just to name a few:

    -overweight women

    - masturbation

    - a man that dares to touch himself to get hard in her presence

    - anal sex

    - oral sex

    - your husband's smell. (although you said he did you after you had not showered for 2 weeks)

    - small penii

    I'm sure there's more, but that's all I can think of off the top of my head.

    People come here to be educated, not condemmed for seeking knowledge by narrow minded people like you.




     
  15. Dreama

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,890
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    I'm not angry, I just think that some of your generalizations are erroneous. :) If you don't really masturbate, than who are you to say that it terns the masterbator into a massive hermit. I have an active social life, and a very active sexual life (with hubby) and I masturbate. Plus, when I'm masturbating, I'm having sex with myself, not nobody. Perhaps the real issue is one of self-worth. I feel that I'm somebody, rather than nobody, and I don't always need another to have sex with me to make me feel sexually fulfilled.
     
  16. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    366
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    south of england
    Can i go point by point:uhh:

    I mentioned overweight women once, in remarking on my sister in law who is fat as well as a very unlikeable person.

    Masturbation well I've done my best to explain my views.

    Men touching themselves to get hard I just find really unappealling and I actually think it's a side affect of mastubation

    Anal sex, well i've had anal sex, but the view of it as a normal part of sex I just think it's a male desire driven by porn

    Oral sex I've never attacked I just said it was something my hubby and I don't do.

    I don't think I've ever mentioned my hubbies smell. I said I smelled badly when we had sex once and I explained the reason why. It's probably not everybodies idea of sexy story but it's one of my favourite memories. I honestly think you just skimmed through what I wrote and drew some conclussions.

    is the plural of penis penii?

    Look can I ask that you read my posts again?. I try to be succinct and express myself as clearly as possible. I think people in here have a habit of quoting someones post and think that's a substitute for actually reading it.

    I'm quite willing to defend everything I say in here but I find it hard when people attack what they think I wrote rather than what I actually did. I actually don't think I've ever condemened anybody, I think I've disagreed occassionally and that doesn't fit in with the mutual adoration that a clique of people on the site are used to.
     
  17. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    You said oral sex was lazy. I call that negative. You mentioned once that your husband wore your undergarments and the smell was horrible. I don't have the time to pick through all your posts to quote them here, but all one has to do it read through them to see your view on things and you lack of compassion for people.
     
  18. Dreama

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,890
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    No, it's not that you disagree with stuff, hun. For me, it's that you are spreading some false information, as though it is fact. A man having to touch himself to get himself hard is NOT any side effect of masturbating I've ever seen. Maybe you should provide some proof on that issue, because that sounds far fetched. And, anal sex isn't male driven....Many females on this forum love being anally penetrated, and even some males do! How can you say it's totally male oriented?? It might be a preference, that you don't like anal...That's cool, but to state your opinion, as though it is fact, only to criticize others, it really gets offensive. I'm truly not attacking you, I'm just saying that the way you choose to express your opinion offends some people.
     
  19. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    366
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    south of england
    I mentioned laziness as a motivation for oral sex based on my own experience because sometimes I just didn't feel like sex and would use oral sex as a substitute. I think a lot of people have done that.

    The story about an ex boyfriend wearing my bra and knickers to a rugby functions where they were all in drag was meant to be funny which I found it to be when he came home drunk. Sorry if you're not amused.

    You know the more you quote from my past post the more confident I am that I'll have proper responses, but then as far as you're concerned I lack compassion and am negative.

    I've expressed my opinions as well as I can and as best as I can I'll defend them. You know as I look through past posts I'm genuinely surprised at the lack of any real arguement on the site. It just tends to be people agreeing with each other as if there's some party line that we all have to buy.

    And dreama I've already explained why I think a man having to use his own hand to get hard is really unappealing to me. I could just tell he was used to masturbating and actually having sex was something unusual for him.

    As for the whole anal sex thing, On another thread a woman was making enquiries about anal sex, I never judged her, as best I could I advised her how I thought she should do it if she wanted to. One of the responses she got encouraged to get on her hands and knees and beg to be fucked in the arse. As woman I had a serious problem with that, but what really bothered me was that nobody thought it was out of line and mainly had a problem with me stating that a lot of men have an obsession with anal sex and that obsession partly stems from porn.
     
  20. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    6,823
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dixie Land
    Okay, let's get back to the OP's subject.

    I believe us ladies have all made our points and opinions perfectly clear. Let's take personal disagreements to the PM arena, and allow more :sf members to interject their thoughts as well. Thanks.

    Let's get back to Sexi_kitten's original post:

    My name is Jennifer, i'm 18, and I really ned ideas.

    I masturbate about 2 or 3 times a week, but the only way I've found for me to orgasm is if i lay in the tub with the shower on it massage setting. I let the water run on my pussy and orgasm in just a minute or two. However I am getting tired of it and need something different to help orgasm.

    Any ideas?
     
    #20 Rose, Feb 22, 2008
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2008